Tuning William - Fuzzy Bones

"Ah!" he said. "That will be-mmmmm-" He rummaged around in his pocket, took out a slip of paper, and read from it. "The Right Reverend Father Thomas Aquinas Gordon. We will now see what's what with this so-called whiskey priest who's supposed to be holding Junktown together with his fingernails. I want your opinion about his young fella, Victor. That's the main reason I asked you over here." He straightened his bush jacket and started for the door.

Outside, The Rev put the palm of his hand in front of his face, blew at it and quickly inhaled through his nose-for perhaps the twentieth time since leaving the mission. It wouldn't make a good first impression for his breath to betray the fact that he'd had a couple of bracers beforehand. Meetings with Colonial Governors General were not occurrences that happened to him frequently. He was nervous, but his head was quite clear. That was the trouble; his head was always clear. Perhaps the true loss of innocence occurred when one reached the point of being able to see through every sham, con-game, deliberate lie, and frailty to which the human spirit was subject.

"And they wonder why I drink," he muttered to himself, just as the door was

opened by a rumpled little man with bristly red whiskers, who looked like he had just come out of the deep woods.

"Father Gordon," Rainsford said cheerfully, shaking hands with his visitor,

"do come in. I've been looking forward to meeting you." Rainsford ushered him into the living room. "I've been hearing lots of good things about you, and I wanted to meet you. I'd like your opinion on something."

As the introductions were being made, Grego thought, Says he isn't qualified to be Governor General. Faugh! I haven't heard such a smooth line of patter since the last time I talked to someone I wanted to get on my side.

"We were just about to have another drink, Father," Rainsford said. "Will you join us?"

"I'd be delighted," The Rev said.

"Anything in particular you'd like?" Rainsford asked.

The Rev chuckled engagingly and nodded his head. "If you pour it, Governor, I'll drink it."

"Fine," Rainsford said. "Just fine. Well, I'll be back in a moment. You and Mr. Grego can be getting acquainted."

This is rich, The Rev thought. Here's a chance to look over this guy Christiana's all out of shape about-and he doesn't even know she's been pouring her heart out to me about him.

No sooner had Rainsford returned from the kitchen than the Fuzzies came rushing in with an empty plate and hopeful looks on their faces. The Rev was momentarily startled. He had heard a lot about Fuzzies, but never really seen one in person.

Grego handled the introductions.

"They certainly seem trusting," The Rev said to Grego and Rainsford.

He was startled again when Diamond spoke. "We know good Hagga from bad Hagga,"

he said. " 'Sides, you come see Pappy Vic and Unka Ben. That make you hokay, too." He scratched his head. "Unka Wev," he said thoughtfully. "Not know name Eke Unka Wev."

"Come on, now, Diamond," Grego said. "It's Rev, with an 'R,' Auntie K'istanna has been teaching you about 'R.' Now try to say Unk Rev."

Diamond screwed up his tiny face. "Ehr-hev," he managed. "Eh-rhev." He took a deep breath. "UnkaRrrrrev," he said. It still gargled a bit, but the pronunciation was coming through. Diamond looked pleased.

The Rev took a long sip at his drink and studied Diamond. Diamond studied him back, with his little head cocked over to one side.

"Remarkable," The Rev said. "I used to think people were exaggerating the humanity of Fuzzies." He made a quick, noncommittal gesture. "But, then, I've always thought they exaggerated the humanity of Terrans, too." "Everyone thinks that-until they meet a Fuzzy," Grego said. "I used to think it. In fact, I blush to think what I used to think about Fuzzies."

"They're little people-just like us-" The Rev said, "-except they're covered

with soft, golden fur."

"Not exactly like us," Rainsford said. "Nature never makes exact duplications-even in character. However, Fuzzies are a totally sane race. And, they cannot be driven insane. They know the difference between right and wrong, good and bad-and their ethical system is highly developed, more highly developed than ours, I'm bound to think. For example, they have no concept at all of crime or doing hurt to another in any premeditated way."

Diamond made a sweeping gesture to include everyone in the room-Terrans and Fuzzies. "Make friend, make help, have fun; is only way be good. Hagga-" He made a pointing gesture, with his fingers spread, toward the Terrans. "-Big Ones-make good place for Fuzzies, keep Fuzzies from hurt. Big Ones make dead dem things hurt Fuzzies; make dead thehah'pie, the dam'ting, and make dead Bad Big Ones. Fuzzies love Hagga. So much-many-many-for Hagga to teach Fuzzies."

"You see what I mean about ethical systems, Father Gordon?" Rainsford said.

The Rev abruptly turned his attention from Diamond, at whom he had been staring in rapt attention. "Oh," he said absently. "Please call me Rev. Every time someone says 'Father Gordon' I get the uncomfortable feeling that my dowdy old bishop has come around to check up on me." Rainsford chuckled, around his pipestem. "Very well," he said. "Rev it is."

"I may be jumping to conclusions," The Rev said, "but it seems to me that Fuzzies are totally innocent creatures." "There's much to that idea," Grego said. "They learn anything that arouses their curiosity faster than hyperspeed. They've been around Terran humans, now, for a bit over a year and already they seem to have developed some instinct-I call it an instinct because I don't know what else to call it at this point-that lets them instantly distinguish between good guys and bad guys. They won't have anything to do with bad guys."

"It's strange," The Rev said reflectively. "Beings that are totally good; the Vision finally realized. And we had to come this far through space and time to find it."

"I don't know much about theology," Rainsford said, "but I think Fuzzies are the most extraordinary discovery ever made by homo s. terra."

The Rev laughed. "I don't know much about theology, either, Governor. At least that's what they kept telling me at university. I just try to help people who can't help themselves-feed 'em, keep them well, heal them when they're sick, get 'em going again when they want to give up. Theology never cured a kid of malnutrition. Theology won't make a man able to do a day's work when his belly is empty."

"The Fuzzies must sense that in you," Grego said.

The Rev leaned forward. "I don't like to pry, but why is Diamond wearing a bow tie?"

"You're a lot like a Fuzzy, at that," Grego said. He told The Rev about that evening at Alfredo's when Christiana made a bow tie for Diamond from her hair ribbon. "He insisted on wearing it all the time, after that," Grego said, "so I had some made up in Fuzzy-size-pastels for daytime, black for evening, and a white one for formal affairs."

"He's a sentimental old fool," Rainsford said, half-apologetically, as he fussed with his pipe.

"Me, sentimental?" Grego snapped. "I happen to know your Fuzzies sleep on the bed with you."

Rainsford blanched. "How did you-" he began.

Grego grinned. "Flora and Fauna told Diamond, and Diamond told me," Grego said with satisfaction.

"That's the hell of it," Rainsford said. "With Fuzzies around, nobody has any secrets."

"With Fuzzies around," Grego said, "nobody needs to have any secrets."

"I 'm not sure I understand," The Rev said, taking another sip of his drink.

" You will," Grego said, "after you 've been around Fuzzies for a while." He paused a moment, choosing his words. "Fuzzies show us what we are capable of being. We sometimes lose track of that, as we scramble to earn a sol or two here and there. That's because Fuzzies freely give us what we all yearn for more than anything else-love. Love with no strings attached."