Terry Pratchett: Wintersmith

It upset people. It was probably meant to. But Tiffany had learned silence too, from Granny Aching, her real grandmother. Now she was learning that if you made yourself really quiet, you could become almost invisible.

Granny Weatherwax was an expert.

Tiffany thought of it as the I'm-not-here spell, if it was a spell. She reasoned that everyone had something inside them that told the world they were there. That was why you could often sense when someone was behind you, even if they were making no sound at all. You were receiving their I-am-here signal.

Some people had a very strong one. They were the people who got served first in shops. Granny Weatherwax had an I-am-here signal that bounced off the mountains when she wanted it to; when she walked into a forest, all the wolves and bears ran out the other side.

She could turn it off, too.

She was doing that now. Tiffany was having to concentrate to see her. Most of her mind was telling her that there was no one there at all.

Well, she thought, that's about enough of that. She coughed. Suddenly Granny Weatherwax had always been there.

"Miss Treason is very well," said Tiffany.

"A fine woman," said Granny.

"Oh, yes."

"She has her funny ways," said Tiffany.

"We're none of us perfect," said Granny.

"She's trying some new eyes," said Tiffany.

"That's good."

"They're a couple of ravens…."

"It's just as well," said Granny.

"Better than the mouse she usually uses," said Tiffany.

"I expect they are."

There was a bit more of this, until Tiffany began to get annoyed at doing all the work. There was such a thing as common politeness, after all. Oh well, she knew what to do about it now.

"Mrs. Earwig's written another book," she said.

"I heard," said Granny. The shadows in the room maybe grew a little darker.

Well, that explained the sulk. Even thinking about Mrs. Earwig made Granny Weatherwax angry. Mrs. Earwig was all wrong to Granny Weatherwax. She wasn't born locally, which was almost a crime to begin with. She wrote books, and Granny Weatherwax didn't trust books. And Mrs. Earwig (pronounced "Ah-wij," at least by Mrs. Earwig) believed in shiny wands and magical amulets and mystic runes and the power of the stars, while Granny Weatherwax believed in cups of tea, dry biscuits, washing every morning in cold water, and, well, she believed mostly in Granny Weatherwax.

Mrs. Earwig was popular among the younger witches, because if you did witchcraft her way, you could wear so much jewelry that you could barely walk. Granny Weatherwax wasn't popular with anyone much—

—except when they needed her. When Death was standing by the cradle or the axe slipped in the woods and blood was soaking into the moss, you sent someone hurrying to the cold, gnarly little cottage in the clearing. When all hope was gone, you called for Granny Weatherwax, because she was the best.

And she always came. Always. But popular? No. Need is not the same as like. Granny Weatherwax was for when things were serious.

Tiffany did like her, though, in an odd kind of way. She thought Granny Weatherwax liked her, too. She let Tiffany call her Granny to her face, when all the other young witches had to call her Mistress Weatherwax. Sometimes Tiffany thought that if you were friendly to Granny Weatherwax, she tested you to see how friendly you would stay. Everything about Granny Weatherwax was a test.

"The new book is called First Flights in Witchcraft," she went on, watching the old witch carefully.

Granny Weatherwax smiled. That is, her mouth went up at the corners.

"Hah!" she said. "I've said it before and I'll say it again: You can't learn witchin' from books. Letice Earwig thinks you can become a witch by goin' shoppin'." She gave Tiffany a piercing look, as if she were making up her mind about something. Then she said: "An' I'll wager she don't know how to do this."

She picked up her cup of hot tea, curling her hand around it. Then she reached out with her other hand and took Tiffany's hand.

"Ready?" said Granny.

"For wha—" Tiffany began, and then she felt her hand get hot. The heat spread up her arm, warming it to the bone.

"Feelin' it?"

"Yes!"

The warmth died away. And Granny Weatherwax, still watching Tiffany's face, turned the teacup upside down.

The tea dropped out in one lump. It was frozen solid.

Tiffany was old enough not to say, "How did you do that?" Granny Weatherwax didn't answer silly questions or, for that matter, many questions at all.

"You moved the heat," Tiffany said. "You took the heat out of the tea and moved it through you to me, yes?"

"Yes, but it never touched me," said Granny triumphantly. "It's all about balance, do you see? Balance is the trick. Keep the balance and—" She stopped. "You've ridden on a seesaw? One end goes up, one end goes down. But the bit in the middle, right in the middle, that stays where it is. Upness and downness go right through it. Don't matter how high or low the ends go, it keeps the balance." She sniffed. "Magic is mostly movin' stuff around."

"Can I learn that?"

"I daresay. It's not hard, if you get your mind right."

"Can you teach me?"

"I just have. I showed you."

"No, Granny, you just showed me how to do it, not…how to do it!"

"Can't tell you that. I know how I do it. How you do it'll be different. You've just got to get your mind right."

"How do I do that?"

"How should I know? It's your mind," snapped Granny. "Put the kettle on again, will you? My tea's gone cold."

There was something almost spiteful about all this, but that was Granny. She took the view that if you were capable of learning, you'd work it out. There was no point in making it easy for people. Life wasn't easy, she said.

"An' I see you're still wearing that trinket," said Granny. She didn't like trinkets, a word she used to mean anything metal a witch wore that wasn't there to hold up, shut, or fasten. That was "shoppin'."

Tiffany touched the little silver horse she wore around her neck. It was small and simple, and it meant a lot to her.

"Yes," she said calmly. "I still am."

"What have you got in that basket?" Granny said now, which was unusually rude. Tiffany's basket was on the table. It had a present in it, of course. Everyone knew you took a small present along when you went visiting, but the person you were visiting was supposed to be surprised when you gave it to her, and say things like "Oooh, you shouldn't have."

"I brought you something," said Tiffany, swinging the big black kettle onto the fire.

"You've got no call to be bringing me presents, I'm sure," said Granny sternly.

"Yes, well," said Tiffany, and left it at that.

She heard Granny lift the lid of the basket. There was a kitten in it.

"Her mother is Pinky, the Widow Cable's cat," said Tiffany, to fill the silence.

"You shouldn't have," growled the voice of Granny Weatherwax.

"It was no trouble." Tiffany smiled at the fire.

"I can't be havin' with cats."

"She'll keep the mice down," said Tiffany, still not turning around.

"Don't have mice."

Nothing for them to eat, thought Tiffany. Aloud, she said, "Mrs. Earwig's got six big black cats." In the basket, the white kitten would be staring up at Granny Weatherwax with the sad, shocked expression of all kittens. You test me, I test you, Tiffany thought.

"I don't know what I shall do with it, I'm sure. It'll have to sleep in the goat shed," said Granny Weatherwax. Most witches had goats.

The kitten rubbed against Granny's hand and went meep.

When Tiffany left, later on, Granny Weatherwax said good-bye at the door and very carefully shut the kitten outside.

Tiffany went across the clearing to where she'd tied up Miss Treason's broomstick.