Terry Pratchett - Wintersmith

They looked just like the Hublights that could sometimes be seen in the depths of winter floating over the mountains at the center of the world. Some people thought they were alive.

The statue was the same height as Tiffany.

"Wintersmith!" There was still no reply. A nice palace with no kitchen, no bed…. He didn't need to eat or sleep, so who was it for?

She knew the answer already: me.

She reached out to touch the dancing lights, and they swarmed up her arm and spread across her body, making a dress that glittered like moonlight on snowfields. She was shocked, then angry. Then she wished she had a mirror, felt guilty about that, and went back to being angry again, and resolved that if by chance she did find a mirror, the only reason she'd look in it would be to check how angry she was.

After searching for a while, she found a mirror, which was nothing more than a wall of ice of such a dark green that it was almost black.

She did look angry. And immensely, beautifully sparkly. There were little glints of gold on the blue and green, just like there were in the sky on wintry nights.

"Wintersmith!"

He must be watching her. He could be anywhere.

"All right! I'm here! You know that!"

"Yes. I do," said the Wintersmith behind her.

Tiffany spun around and slapped him across the face, then slapped him again with her other hand.

It was like hitting rock. He was learning very quickly now.

"That's for the lambs," she said, trying to shake some life back into her fingers. "How dare you! You didn't have to!"

He looked much more human. Either he was wearing real clothes or he had worked hard on making them look real. He'd actually managed to look…well, handsome. Not cold anymore, just…cool.

He's nothing but a snowman, her Second Thoughts protested. Remember that. He's just too smart to have coal for eyes or a carrot for a nose.

"Ouch," said the Wintersmith, as if he'd just remembered to say it.

"I demand that you let me go!" Tiffany snapped. "Right now!" That's right, her Second Thoughts said. You want him to end up cowering behind the saucepans on top of the kitchen dresser. As it were…

"At this moment," said the Wintersmith very calmly, "I am a gale wrecking ships a thousand miles away. I am freezing water pipes in a snowbound town. I am freezing the sweat on a dying man, lost in a terrible blizzard. I creep silently under doors. I hang from gutters. I stroke the fur of the sleeping bear, deep in her cave, and course in the blood of the fishes under the ice."

"I don't care!" said Tiffany. "I don't want to be here! And you shouldn't be here either!"

"Child, will you walk with me?" said the Wintersmith. "I will not harm you. You are safe here."

"What from?" said Tiffany, and then, because too much time around Miss Tick does something to your conversation, even in times of stress, she changed this to: "From what?"

"Death," said the Wintersmith. "Here you will never die."

At the back of the Feegles' chalk pit, more chalk had been carved out of the wall to make a tunnel about five feet high and perhaps as long.

In front of it stood Roland de Chumsfanleigh (it wasn't his fault). His ancestors had been knights, and they had come to own the Chalk by killing the kings who thought they did. Swords, that's what it had all been about. Swords and cutting off heads. That was how you got land in the old days, and then the rules were changed so that you didn't need a sword to own land anymore, you just needed the right piece of paper. But his ancestors had still hung on to their swords, just in case people thought that the whole thing with the bits of paper was unfair, it being a fact that you can't please everybody.

He'd always wanted to be good with a sword, and it had come as a shock to find they were so heavy. He was great at air sword. In front of a mirror he could fence against his reflection and win nearly all the time. Real swords didn't allow that. You tried to swing them and they ended up swinging you. He'd realized that maybe he was more cut out for bits of paper. Besides, he needed glasses, which could be a bit tricky under a helmet, especially if someone was hitting you with a sword.

He wore a helmet now, and held a sword that was—although he wouldn't admit it—far too heavy for him. He was also wearing a suit of chain mail that made it very hard to walk. The Feegles had done their best to make it fit, but the crotch hung down to his knees and flapped amusingly when he moved.

I'm not a hero, he thought. I've got a sword, which I need two hands to lift, and I've got a shield that is also really heavy, and I've got a horse with curtains around it that I've had to leave at home (and my aunts will go mad when they go into the drawing room), but inside I'm a kid who would quite like to know where the privy is….

But she rescued me from the Queen of the Elves. If she hadn't, I'd still be a stupid kid instead of…um…a young man hoping he isn't too stupid.

The Nac Mac Feegles had exploded back into his room, fighting their way through the storm that had arrived overnight, and now, they said, it was time for him to be a Hero for Tiffany…. Well, he would be. He was sure of that. Fairly sure. But right now the scenery wasn't what he'd expected.

"You know, this doesn't look like the entrance to the Underworld," he said.

"Ach, any cave can be the way in," said Rob Anybody, who was sitting on Roland's helmet. "But ye must ha' the knowin' o' the crawstep. Okay, Big Yan, ye go first…."

Big Yan strutted up to the chalk hole. He stuck out his arms behind him, bent at the elbows. He leaned backward, sticking out one leg to keep his balance. Then he wiggled the foot in the air a few times, leaned forward, and vanished as soon as the foot touched the ground.

Rob Anybody banged on Roland's helmet with his fist.

"Okay, big Hero," he shouted. "Off ye go!"

There was no way out. Tiffany didn't even know if there was a way in.

"If you were the Summer Lady, then we would dance," said the Wintersmith. "But I know now that you are not her, even though you seem to be. But for the sake of you I am now human, and I must have company."

Tiffany's racing mind showed her pictures: the sprouting acorn, the fertile feet, the Cornucopia. I'm just enough of a goddess to fool a few floorboards and an acorn and a handful of seeds, she thought. I'm just like him. Iron enough to make a nail doesn't make a snowman human, and a couple of oak leaves don't make me a goddess.

"Come," said the Wintersmith, "let me show you my world. Our world."

When Roland opened his eyes, all he could see were shadows. Not shadows of things—just shadows, drifting like cobwebs.

"I was expecting somewhere…hotter," he said, trying to keep the relief out of his voice. Around him, Feegles popped out of nowhere.

"Ah, you're thinkin' o' hells," said Rob Anybody. "They tends to be on the toasty side, it's true. Underworlds are more o' the gloomy sort. It's where folks end up when they's lost, ye ken."

"What? You mean if it's a dark night and you take the wrong turning—"

"Ach, no! Like mebbe deid when they shouldn't be an' there's nae place for 'em tae go, or they fall doon a gap in the worlds an' dinna ken the way. Some o' them don't even ken where they are, poor souls. There's an awful lot o' that kind o' thing. There's no' a lot o' laughs in a underworld. This one used tae be called Limbo, ye ken, 'cuz the door was verra low. Looks like it's gone way downhill since we wuz last here." He raised his voice. "An' a big hand, lads, for young Wee Dangerous Spike, oot wi' us for the first time!" There was a ragged cheer, and Wee Dangerous Spike waved his sword.

Roland pushed his way through the shadows, which actually offered some resistance. The very air was gray down here. Sometimes he heard groans, or someone coughing in the distance…and then there were footsteps, shuffling toward him.