Лорел Гамильтон - Incubus Dreams

“Not at the same time in the same date,” he said.

I waved it away. “Fine, I’ll leave you out of it. But I’m still dating Jean-Claude and Asher. I’m living and sharing a bed with Micah and Nathaniel. Yes, it was sort of accidental. I didn’t try to get into either situation on purpose, but I’m there. And now with Damian and Nathaniel, I’ve got another threesome where I’m the only girl. Not on purpose, but after awhile, Richard, arguing that I don’t enjoy two men together with me just sounds silly.”

“Do you?” he asked.

I didn’t owe him the answer, but maybe I owed myself one. I’d only admitted it to myself seconds ago. “Yes, being in the middle of two men just flat does it for me. Just the feel of them on either side just flat does it for me.” I waited for the blush to start, or at least the embarrassment, but it didn’t. It was true, and it was okay.

I was okay. I had men in my life that thought it was okay.

Richard looked at the floor, as if whatever he saw in my face he didn’t want to see. Or maybe there was something in his face he didn’t want me to see. “I could never do that.”

“No one’s asked you to.”

He looked up then, and his anger lashed out, almost like he’d laid a hot whip across my skin. I jumped from the feel of it. “Ow,” I said.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, but the hell you say, no one’s asked me.”

“Alright, to my knowledge no one’s asked you.”

“Everyone, everyone in the preternatural community, whatever animal, or thing they are, thinks that I was doing Jean-Claude and you. That we were some happy little ménage а trois.”

“I’ve run into that rumor,” I said. “You know what you were doing, and who, so what does it matter?”

He let out a shadow of that inarticulate scream he’d done before.

“Anita, how do you think I feel when almost every leader in this town that I have to do business with thinks I’m shagging the Master of the City?”

“Are you saying that people thinking you’re bisexual hurts your standing as a leader?”

“Yes.”

“It doesn’t seem to hurt Jean-Claude’s,” I said.

“That’s different.”

“I don’t think so.”

He made fists, and that hurt, and he made that sound again. “You don’t understand, Anita. You’re a girl, and you don’t understand.”

“I’m a girl, and I don’t understand. What does that mean?”

“It means it’s still more socially acceptable for a girl to be bisexual than it is for a man.”

“Who says?” I asked.

“Everyone!” His anger flared outward like hot water, and it was about waist high, and rising.

“You’re homophobic,” I said.

“I am not.”

“Yeah, you are. If it didn’t bother you so much that people thought you were bisexual, then you wouldn’t care what they said.

You’d know the truth, and it would be enough.” I moved closer to him, pushing through the heat of his power, his anger, his frustration.

“Besides, what’s wrong with being bisexual, or homosexual, or whatever? What does it matter, Richard, as long as you’re happy and no one is getting hurt?”

“You don’t understand,” he said.

I was standing close enough to touch. Standing so close that his power bit and sizzled almost against my skin, as if the robe wasn’t there. God, he was so powerful, more than the last time I’d touched his power. He’d gained from Jean-Claude and me, just like Jean-Claude had, like I had. If we could get our triumvirate to truly work the way it was meant to, no one would touch us, no one would dare.

That one thought wasn’t my thought, not exactly. Jean-Claude wasn’t awake yet, I’d have felt it, but the thought was more his than mine. I remembered last night at the club, and how we’d been joined tighter, closer, than ever before. I’d done things last night that hadn’t been possible before. I’d reached new levels of power both with Jean-Claude and with my own abilities. I’d also had sex with a vampire I’d known less than two weeks, and only Requiem’s gentlemanly ways had kept it to one. That wasn’t like me, and standing this close to Richard’s pain, I was thinking about the power and not the cost to him. That wasn’t like me either. But they were both very like Jean-Claude.

“What’s wrong?” Richard asked. “You’ve thought of something.”

“Just wondering what other parts of Jean-Claude I’m carrying around inside myself.”

“You told me, theardeur, the blood lust.”

I shook my head. “I’ve never been very practical with relationships, or sex, and lately, like the last twenty-four hours, or so, I have been. At least a lot more practical than I’ve ever been before.”

“Is it true that you had sex with two of the new British vampires at Guilty Pleasures last night?”

“My, my, the rumor mill does grind fast.”

He relaxed, some tension going out of him. “Then it was just a rumor.”

I sighed, and was getting tired of doing that, but it seemed like Richard just brought it out in me. “Half true.”

“Which half?” he asked.

I didn’t like the look on his face. It wasn’t angry exactly, which should have been an improvement, but it wasn’t neutral either. “One vampire, not two.” I shook my head. “But you know what? I don’t think I owe you an explanation, Richard. I don’t keep track of the swath you’re cutting through your own pack, and Verne’s pack when you’re in Tennessee.”

He was looking at me, studying my face, as if he was trying to figure out what I was hiding. “If you weren’t ashamed of it, then you’d just tell me.”

“Richard, you aren’t my dad, or my boyfriend. I don’t owe you an explanation about who I do, or don’t, sleep with.”

“You slept with Nathaniel for four months before you had sex with him. What changed? Why these two vampires, why now? I heard it was a hell of a show last night, what the hell happened?”

“Are you asking from some macho possessiveness?”

“No, as the third of your triumvirate. Or should I say, one of your triumvirates?”

As the third of our triumvirate he had a right to know how close we’d come to losing control of Primo and some other choice bits. He had helped me last night, even if it had gone wrong, he’d tried. He’d really tried.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, and he sat on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest, while I gave him a thumbnail sketch of the near disaster and an edited version of what I’d done to help Jean-Claude feed. I didn’t leave much out, I just didn’t elaborate.

“I can’t believe you fucked Byron. I didn’t even think he liked girls.”

“He took one for the team,” I said, and tried to keep the irony in my voice to a minimum.

He actually blushed. “I didn’t mean it that way. I meant, if I was shopping for men for you among the new vampires, he wouldn’t have been high on my list.”

“Truthfully, he’s not high on mine. I mean he’s a nice enough guy, but as a friend, not as more.”

“Then, why?”

“He was the person that was there, Richard. If I accidentally sucked someone’s soul out through their mouth, Jean-Claude thought I’d be less cut up if it was Byron and not Nathaniel.”

“Is Primo like some kind of Trojan horse?” he asked, and him asking that made me think better of him, lots better. It was a very good question.

“You mean did the Dragon let Jean-Claude have Primo so she could try and take over here?”

“Or just cause enough destruction that Jean-Claude got up on charges. Or his business was ruined, something. From what Jean-Claude’s been hearing from Europe, the council isn’t too happy with him.”

It must have shown on my face, because Richard said, out loud, “I have been paying attention Anita.”