Лорел Гамильтон - Danse Macabre

«How did you lose your shirt?» I asked.

«I got hot,» he said, and grinned.

«I'll say.»

He walked toward me still smiling, but there was worry around the edges of his eyes. A stranger wouldn't have seen it, but I'd spent months reading his face. He walked wide around the desk, so he'd be out of reach of Merlin. He'd learned to be a better person, and a worse victim, living with me. He came around, and put his hand on my arm, underneath Asher's jacket. Having them both touch me was as if someone had stuck an electric plug in my spine. It made me jump, but underneath the rush of power was the feeling that it was going just one way, into me. Shit. I was really, really going to have to get better at this energy thing.

«You are very new at being the center of this triumvirate of power,» Merlin said, like he was certain of it, and like it was interesting to him.

«Yeah, there's a learning curve.»

«There are ways to keep the good mother from feeding upon your energy.»

«I'm all ears,» I said.

He frowned at me.

«I mean, I'd love to hear it.» Sometimes I forgot that slang does not travel well, not across countries, or centuries.

«A holy item hidden inside at least two layers of pillows will keep her at bay.»

«That sounds risky,» I said, raising my newly marked hand. The movement made Damian move, almost a stumble. I felt Nathaniel reach for him, knew when he had put an arm around the taller man's waist.

«Even vampires can sleep thus, if they believe and they do not call their own power.»

I needed to feed, but I didn't want a mistake here. I bunked with too many vampires to want a holy item going off at the wrong moment. «A vampire can sleep with a holy item under his pillow?»

«Yes, or underneath the bed, though pillow is better.»

«What happens if the holy item touches vampire flesh?»

«Look at your own hand for that answer,» he said.

«Are you saying that the cross burned me because of my own power, not Mommie Dearest?»

«You are a succubus, Ms. Blake; that has long been a power associated with the demonic.»

«I've come up against demons. Vampirism is a contagion, not a demonic anything. It's a blood-borne disease. A doctor back in the 1900s sort of figured out how to cure it. You don't cure demonic possession with a blood transfusion.»

«Cured it?» Merlin said. «With a blood transfusion, truly?»

«Well, yeah, but the vampirism is what keeps the dead body up and running, so you take the vampirism out of the blood, and the body dies.»

«Ah, then not a cure that most would seek.»

I shook my head. «No.»

Damian leaned over and whispered against my cheek, «All interesting, but may I ask that you speed this up?»

«The mother cannot break through your protection on her own, except in dream. But she can follow the attack of another vampire inside your defenses. You are correct on that. Fear of her was one of the reasons for the laws governing combat between masters. But she has been asleep for so long that we have forgotten caution.»

«Why does she need to follow someone else's attack?»

«Because she is still a creature of nightmare and the lands of Morpheus.»

«She's still asleep, you mean?»

«Yes, that is what I mean.» He smiled.

Damian's hand dug into my shoulder. I said, «I don't mean to be rude here, but I need to feed. So, if you'll excuse us.»

«Can't we watch?» Elisabetta asked.

«No,» I said.

«Come, Elisabetta,» Merlin said. He went out the door with her behind him. Adonis turned in the doorway, and stared at us all.

«You don't get to watch either,» I said. «This meeting is over.»

He started to say something, then seemed to think better of it. He finally shook his head, and left without another word. I'd learned more than he meant to tell, but less than there was to know. Somehow I knew I'd see him again. Just a feeling.

Claudia went to the door. «I'll make sure no one interrupts.» She closed the door behind her.

I stood, and gently moved their hands off my shoulders. I took their hands in mine. «Nathaniel, take Damian to the workers' lounge or somewhere. Or find a table outside, I guess.»

«Why can't we watch?»

I gave him a look, but he gave innocent, knowledgeable eyes. «It's been less than two hours, are you saying you'd go again?»

He smiled.

«I can't feed on you again this soon, Nathaniel, it's too dangerous. I don't know what the mother did to me, exactly, but I feel shaky. I don't know if I can guarantee that the ardeur won't spread through the room. Outside the door you'll be safe; inside, I don't know." I looked at Damian, who was clinging to Nathaniel's shoulders as if he'd fall down without the support. «If I fed on Damian right now, I think that would be bad.»

«Who will you feed from then?» Asher asked from where he stood near the wall.

«If it's okay with you, you.»

«A man likes to be asked.»

I squeezed the others' hands, and said, «Nathaniel, Damian, go, please, and stay where someone can keep an eye on you, okay?»

«I promise,» Nathaniel said, and they started for the door.

I turned to Asher. «Are you mad at me?»

«No one likes to be taken for granted, Anita.»

«I don't take you for granted.»

«You do, and so does Jean-Claude.»

I didn't know what to say to that so I said that part out loud. «I don't know what to say to that.»

He shook his head. «We do not have time to tend my emotional wounds. Forgive me.»

The door closed behind us, Nathaniel and Damian were outside trying to find a place to wait while I fed enough to keep us all alive.

I reached for Asher's hand. He took it, but he wouldn't look at me. What little of his face he gave was that perfect profile, with the scars hidden behind the glory of his hair. I'd asked for sex and he was hiding from me. Not good.

«What is wrong?» I asked.

«Do you realize that this will be the first time we have ever had sex alone together?»

I started to argue with him but stopped myself. I could remember his body so intimately. So many nights and afternoons of his body against mine. Had there always been someone else with us? Had we never had a moment that was just us, just ours?

I touched his face, tried to get him to look at me, but he wouldn't do it. «It's not just Jean-Claude that you haven't gotten enough personal attention from, is it?»

He smiled then, but not like he was happy. «I spent centuries being desired by all that I touched, or wanted. Then I spent centuries being despised, ridiculed. Sex was a mercy or done as a torment to the ones Belle wished to punish.»

I tried to hug him, and he kept me away, just holding my hand while he talked. I said the only thing I could think to say. «I'm sorry.»

He finally looked at me with the perfect side of his face. He let me see the drowning beauty that had made people give up their fortunes, their honor, their virtue, for but one more night staring into this face. «You have healed some of my hurts. Being with you and Jean-Claude. I thought it would be enough.»

I slid my hand underneath his hair, so I could touch the scarred side of his face. I cupped that which he hid, while I stared up into the face he let me see. «But you don't get enough attention from either of us.»

«It sounds childish when you say it out loud, but it does not feel childish inside here.» He touched his chest. «It feels like I am starving to death in the midst of a feast. But it is a feast that I share with too many. Neither of you watches only me. There is always someone else more beautiful, more desirable.»

«There is no one more beautiful than you, Asher.»

He jerked back, and exposed the scars on his face. «How can you say that to me?»