Лорел Гамильтон - A Lick Of Frost

"He is healing."

"But injured," Ash said. He seemed a little eager at the news.

I fought not to lick my lips or show some other nervous habit. I spoke smoothly. "He is injured, yes."

"It must be grave for him to leave your side," Ash said.

"Darkness in a wheelchair like an invalid," Holly said. "I never thought I would see such a shameful thing."

"There is no shame in taking care of an injury among the sidhe," I said.

"A goblin so badly injured would either take his own life or others would take it for him," Holly said.

"Then glad I am that I am not goblin," I said, "for I injure all too easily." I'd mentioned my frailty on purpose. I hoped to turn their attention from Doyle and toward the sex we might be having tonight. Ash and Holly had never been with a human. They had never been with anyone who could be injured so easily, and death, true death, by accident, with no cold metal involved, was a novelty. Yes, Ash hoped to be king. Ash and Holly both hoped that I could bring them into their sidhe-sided magic as I had others. But it wasn't hunger for power that filled Holly's face with eagerness. It was hunger of a very different kind.

Ash's face remained thoughtful, not caught up in his brother's lust. Holly would be the one who might lose control and hurt me by accident, but it was Ash who would hurt me on purpose. He was just a little less goblin in his thoughts and a little more sidhe. If I could awaken true magic in him, he would be truly dangerous. Kurag, Goblin King, would do well to watch him. The goblins do not inherit their throne. They take it by force of arms, and they keep it the same way. The King is dead, long live the king.

"I will not be distracted, Princess," Ash said. "Not even by your white flesh."

"Am I so poor a prize then?" I asked, and lowered my eyes. The goblins liked their partners either bold as brass or demure. I wasn't capable of their level of boldness, so demure it was.

Ash gave an abrupt laugh. "You know exactly what you represent to us, Princess."

Holly stepped close to the mirror so that his handsome face filled more of the view. There was no distortion as with a camera. It was always as if the glass only separated one part of a room from another. He pressed his fingers against the glass. He looked at me, and there was something in his eyes beyond sex.

I shivered and looked away from him.

"I wish I could smell your fear through this glass," he said in a voice gone low and rough with need.

Frost moved closer to me. Rhys put his arm around my waist. I wanted the comfort, but we were dealing with goblins, and they would use it against us.

"We agreed to Darkness and one other watching our fucking," Ash said. "But he is injured, so I say we have no audience."

"No," I said, voice soft.

"Then all our negotiations must be redone," Ash said.

Frost started to say something, but I touched his arm. "You and Holly have the chance to bring magic, true magic, back to the goblins. You have a chance to be in the running for king of the Unseelie Court. You will not pass up such power because Doyle is too injured to watch us fuck. You will allow me to choose two other men to guard my safety, and to make certain we all have a care tonight."

"We do not take orders from the sidhe," Holly said.

"This is not an order. This is simply the truth." I looked at Ash, who was deeper into the room, farther from the mirror.

"We have given you our word, Princess," Holly said. "The goblins, unlike the sidhe, keep their word. We will do only what has been bargained for, nothing more. We will do nothing that you do not agree to."

"The guards will be there to see that in the midst of pleasure you do not get carried away, but they will also be there for another reason," I said.

"And what would that be?" Ash asked.

"To make certain that I do not lose myself to the moment."

"Lose yourself," Holly said. "What does that mean?"

"It means that we bargained that you would do nothing I did not agree to, or ask for. I fear that I may in the heat of the moment ask for things that my body cannot survive."

"What?" Holly asked, frowning.

"She's saying that she likes to be hurt, and she might ask for things that would damage her," Ash said.

"Lying sidhe," Holly said.

"I swear to you that I do not lie. I must have guards to keep me safe from myself."

Holly hit the mirror hard enough to make it shake on his end.

It made me jump. "You are afraid of us," he said. "The sidhe do not crave that which they fear."

"I cannot speak for anyone but myself."

"Do you want me to hurt you?" Holly said.

I looked up then, gave him my gaze, full on, and let him see the truth. "Oh, yes."

EVENTUALLY THE MIRROR WAS JUST A MIRROR AGAIN. THE GOBLINS would arrive tonight with a guard of Red Caps to make certain this was not sidhe treachery. With Doyle injured, I had to choose new guards to watch us, and frankly the ones I trusted most didn't want the duty.

Frost would have stood with Doyle, if ordered, but he didn't really enjoy seeing me with other men. He was okay with Doyle and himself being in the same room at the same time with me, but he didn't share with anyone else. Rhys was more open-minded about the sharing thing, but it would have been a type of torture to ask him to watch the goblins with me. Being a prisoner of the goblins had been what had cost him one eye.

"You meant that about wanting them to hurt you, didn't you?" Rhys asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Do you know how disturbing that is?"

I thought about it, then nodded. "You either get it, or you don't."

"I do not get it either," Frost said.

I kept quiet because Frost actually got it more than he thought he did. He didn't like causing me pain, but a little "tie me up, tie me down" worked just fine as foreplay for him. But since he didn't consider bondage the same thing as causing pain, I didn't argue with him.

"Doyle gets it," Rhys said.

I nodded.

"You enjoy normal sex, right?" Rhys asked.

"Normal is a judgment. The kind of sex I like is just the kind of sex I like, Rhys."

He took a deep breath and started over. "I don't mean to sound judgmental. What I mean is, do you have less… bondage sex with the rest of us because you think we won't do what you want? I guess I want to know that you really enjoy being with me."

I put my arms around him, but kept us far enough apart so I could gaze up into his face. "I love being with you, all of you. But sometimes I like something rougher. I wouldn't want to have the goblins' idea of sex every night, but the thought does excite me."

He shivered, and it wasn't from pleasure. No, it was definitely fear. "I know now, thanks to you, that only my ignorance of goblin culture cost me my eye. If I hadn't been just another arrogant sidhe, I'd have known that their culture allows even prisoners to negotiate sex. I could have forced them not to maim me. But I saw the sex as torture, and you can't bargain with torture."

"When a goblin tortures you, you'll know it."

He shuddered again.

I hugged him, trying to squeeze that haunted look from his face. "We need to decide who's going to guard my back tonight."

He hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry, Merry, but I can't. I just can't do it."

I whispered into his hair, "I know, and it's all right."

"I will do it," Frost said.

I turned in Rhys's arms so I could see Frost. His face was at its arrogant best, coldly handsome. What I saw was that it wasn't his lack of enjoyment of what would be happening that would hamper his ability to guard me, but rather just how much he might secretly enjoy it. That would hamper him. He had a tendency to let his emotions cloud his judgment. Tonight would push too many of Frost's buttons for him to guard me well. If Doyle had been there to help force him through his emotional baggage, then maybe, but Doyle wouldn't be there tonight. Who could I ask to do this?