Harry Turtledove (Editor) - The Enchanter Completed

Miss Speranza-now Mrs. Dawkins-gave her former husband the cold and clammy eye. "Don't be a fool," she bade him. "You can't sue the dead."

Her cavalier admission to being one of the Respiratorily Disenfranchised caused Pinch to go stark white as to the face, but helpless to do more. At least public acknowledgment of her decedence explained her eerie gift for sneaking up on a man so silently.

Orpheus's eyes narrowed. "Then maybe I won't leave it to a mortal court of law," he said. There was a most disturbing note in his voice and, seeing as it was his voice, the aforesaid disturbing note was pitched perfectly. I felt the small hairs on the back of my neck stand up like West Point plebes on parade.

Pinch's bride was made of sterner stuff. "You don't scare me. I used to have an apartment in Jersey City."

"Sure you did, before you took my money and ran. I entered the gates of Avernus for you and this is the thanks I get?"

The newly pledged Mrs. Dawkins rolled her eyes. "Oh, puh- leeze ! I'd still be down there if I'd relied on you. He told you not to look back: Twice! I can't stand a man who won't learn from his mistakes."

"I'm learning from one of them right now," Orpheus said grimly. His fingers curled and uncurled. I could not tell whether he were plucking the strings of an invisible lyre or rehearsing her imminent strangulation.

"Shouldn't we do something to stop this before it gets any worse?" Beddoes was at my elbow, his face the color of eggshell. "This has all the earmarks of a pending bloodbath. The Club can't take many more."

"What do you propose we do?" I replied, assuming a stoic air I did not truly feel. "Lest you forget, that is Orpheus. So long as he has the power of his voice, no one may stand against him."

"She seems to be doing a fair enough job of it." Beddoes nodded at the former Miss Speranza. "Why isn't he singing her into submission?"

"Perhaps because she is-or should I say she was -his wife," I replied. "Even a bachelor understands how wives often have the power to blot out the sound of their husbands' voices when it suits them."

As we conferred, the tension between Orpheus and his second wife mounted apace. "Just tell me one thing before you get what's coming to you," he demanded. "How did you manage to get out of Avernus?"

Her laugh had all the charm of a creaking lich-gate. "How do you think, sweetheart? I walked. Don't stare at me that way; you look like a trepanned catfish. You fixed it so I could get out. That whole don't-look-back shtick was to test you, not me. You think Hades wanted me hanging around after he'd processed all the paperwork? Half the reason he was so mad at you for looking back at me was because of what happened the first time! She's a sweet kid, Orpheus, but she never was very independent, was she?"

"What are you talking about?" Orpehus asked. The whites of his eyes showed all around the irises, after the manner of a badly spooked horse. " Who are you talking about?"

"That would be me."

She irrupted among us with the same abruptness and stealth as Ren-e Speranza had formerly used to such devastating effect in the Club bar lo, those many weeks ago. She was a fetching creature of Classic beauty, which made perfect sense given her identity.

"Eu-Eurydike?" The divine singer really did resemble a mentally deficient fish when startled.

The lady crossed the room and brought her husband the gift of renewed eloquence via a swift slap to the face. "Love me forever , hm?" she said, pointing at the smirking bride. "You got over your broken heart pretty damn quick, you swine! Since when does forever end after a lousy two, three millennia?"

Ren-e stepped up to put an arm around Eurydike's shoulder. "I found this poor girl all by herself in one of the saddest, darkest corners of Avernus. None of the other shades would come near her because of what you'd done to her. They can smell the taint of life; it puts them off their wailing. I introduced myself and we got to talking. When I found out who she was, I asked her how come she was still hanging around a dump like Avernus when she'd been cleared for emigration. Poor baby never even thought to try getting out without you being there to lead her every step of the way. I told her, Eury , I said, what's the worst that can happen to you if you try to get out on your own? What's Hades gonna do ? Kill you? It was the first time I saw her smile. Of course she stopped smiling as soon as I told her who I was. Not that she was mad at me , of course."

"Certainly not!" Eurydike gave Ren-e a sisterly hug while glowering daggers at Orpheus. "Ren-e gave me the strength to stand up and help myself, for a change. She was the only one who cared. Not like you !"

"Aw, babe, now come on, I cared!" Orpheus had the look of a man who was starting to miss the peace and quiet of the Underworld. "Was it my fault you didn't know you could've just walked out of there even after I blew it? I didn't even know that was possible."

"If you really cared about me you could've made an effort ; done something like, oh, I don't know, maybe ask someone for advice about making a second try to get me out of Hades' kingdom? Someone like the Delphic Oracle , maybe? Seeing as how your father was Apollo ? You know, Apollo the sun-god? Ring any bells? Apollo who established the shrine at Delphi and had the Oracle in his back pocket ?"

"Chitons don't have pockets," Orpheus said. It was neither the time nor the place for such observations.

Musicians.

This time Eurydike belted him with a closed fist. He sailed across the room and knocked over a swan ice sculpture that had cost Dawkins a pretty penny. He moaned softly, a sound overwhelmed by the cheers of all the women present.

"Baby, I couldn't do that." Orpheus struggled to his feet, slipping on bits of shattered swan, and staggered back toward his wives. "I was too upset to think straight, and then I ran into the Scythian women and they tore me to pieces and for a long time all I had to my name was my head. I mean, that was totally bogus. And then-"

Eurydike thrust out her hand, palm foremost. "Spare me. Which is more than I'm going to do for you." Her fingers curled into claws. There was an ugly glint in her eye. Maenads tear their living victims to shreds while under the influence of the grape, and Scythians were known to operate under the influence of hemp, but Eurydike's murderous rage was more terrifying, being the product of ice-cold sobriety.

Female empowerment is not a pretty thing. Not for the men involved, at any rate.

Lest any think that Orpheus stood ready to accept the dire punishment that Eurydike was about to deal him, I must correct that misapprehension. Apollo's son was already preparing his defense. I heard him begin to hum under his breath, preparatory to bursting into omnipotent song, though for the life of me I could not identify the composition.

"Heaven help us, I can name that tune!" Beddoes voice constricted with terror. " 'It's The End of the World As We Know It. If he's going to die, he's going to take us with him!"

"Coward," Eurydike snarled. "Apocalypse is the last refuge of the scoundrel. You forget that I'm not afraid to die. Been there, done that." She took another step forward. A fine dew of nervous perspiration spangled Orpheus' brow, a look of desperation lit his eyes, and he opened his mouth to sing.

" Stop! Stop in the name of the Law!" Langley's shout broke Orpheus' concentration and interrupted Eurydike's relentless approach. The bold young man threw himself between the two of them with a fine disregard for his own safety. A slip of paper, blazing white as Zeus' own thunderbolt, flashed under Eurydike's nose.