Marilu Mann - Changing Focus

A shudder racked her as she took a deep breath. “Micah, I was thirteen. We were driving home from a band concert. My mother and I were arguing about whether or not I could go to the Harvest Dance. I remember it all so very clearly. The moon looked like some giant spotlight and I thought if I didn’t get to go to that dance, I might as well die.

“Then I don’t know what happened. Something must have run out in the road. When I came to, I was standing by this oak tree. My clothes were ripped and torn. They were hanging off me. I saw the car. Oh god, the car.” She stuffed a hand over her mouth as tears filled her eyes.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to talk about this. It was an accident. You didn’t do anything.”

She felt him drop a soft kiss on her head. “No, I want to tell you this. It’s important. My therapist tells me to let these things out. So I saw the car. It was upside down and there was smoke pouring out. I ran to it. I still don’t know how I did this but I got the door open and I pulled my dad out. He was…he was already gone.

“Then I got Mom out. She was still alive. But when she saw me, oh Micah. When she saw me,” Olivia curled in closer to his warmth, “she screamed at me to get away from her. She called me a monster. I knew then that I’d done something. I’d caused the wreck. She died screaming at me, Micah.” Olivia turned tear-filled eyes up to him. “And I don’t know why.”

Micah didn’t say a word. He just wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her into his lap. He cradled her head against his chest as she wept. She felt his chest rumble as he murmured soothing sounds while his hand swept across her hair and down her back. Olivia couldn’t stop the tears even though she hated the feeling of weakness. Somehow, being in Micah’s arms made it safe to fall apart.

She wept for her parents and for herself. Nothing had ever been the same after their deaths. She’d continued to have those blackouts at least once a month. Her therapist told her that the full moon probably triggered them because of the accident happening on the full moon. Olivia slid her arms around Micah, holding on for dear life. She didn’t even know when she cried herself to sleep.

Micah stood carefully, balancing her slight weight in his arms. Olivia’s head lolled against his shoulder as he carried her out of the living room and up the stairs to her room. He wanted to take her to his apartment, lay her down on his bed and simply hold her through the night. How she had to have suffered all this time.

Thinking she’d killed her adoptive parents, never knowing that her ability to shift didn’t make her a monster. If she’d been thirteen at the time of the wreck, obviously she’d gone through her first shift in the backseat of that car. Most shifters had their first experience with the change at puberty. Strong emotions, rampant teenage hormones and the full moon, all of those things contributed to the first shift.

Seeing a wolf in the backseat of a car where your daughter had just been would have been enough to cause anyone to lose control of a car. Anyone who wasn’t aware that their child-adoptive child-was a shifter, that is. Olivia’s mother had been wrong to call her a monster, but now he knew why she hadn’t responded to any of the verbal and nonverbal cues he’d tossed her way. Olivia had reached adulthood not knowing what she was, what they both were.

He put her down on the bed, lifting her body to pull the duvet and blankets out from under her. She looked so beautiful, almost ethereal there among the dark bedclothes. His hands trembled slightly as he removed her shoes. Those shoes…every male fantasy come to life, a beautiful woman dressed in silk wearing those shoes.

Hesitating slightly, he set the shoes down beside the bed. He wanted to carefully undress her, strip himself and crawl into the bed with her, giving her his warmth, the comfort of his body, the peace gained from sleeping with someone there to watch over you, but he knew she wouldn’t see it that way. She’d be horrified in the morning to wake naked beside him.

Shifters often shared space when sleeping. It wasn’t sexual, it was simply Pack behavior. He’d shared a bed with three of his brothers before leaving the reservation to join the Army.

Instead of following those instincts, he slowly pulled her shirt out of the waistband of her skirt. His intent had been to make her more comfortable, but the sight of the creamy skin at her waist set off warning signals in his brain. An overloaded libido could only take so much and the sight of Olivia in such a vulnerable position was all he could handle. Pulling the covers up to her shoulders, Micah moved across the room.

He rebuilt the fire in her fireplace, glancing over his shoulder from time to time just to ensure she slept soundly. Settling himself in one of the chairs by the fireplace, he decided to wait and watch her through the night.

Olivia shoved the covers off her upper body. She felt incredibly warm and unsure how she’d managed to make it up to her room. The last thing she remembered… Sitting straight up, Olivia felt her breath catch. The last thing she remembered was Micah pulling her into his arms, stroking her hair and back as she cried all over him. She’d told him things last night she had never mentioned to anyone other than her therapist.

She realized she was in her room and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Well, at least this time she hadn’t awakened naked. No, she woke fully clothed except for her shoes. No wonder she’d felt uncomfortable. Her skirt had become twisted around her waist, her bra cutting into her chest. Only when she’d started toward the bathroom did she hear the soft sound of someone else’s breathing.

Olivia froze, trying to calm herself. Turning toward the fireplace, she saw a definite shadow that didn’t belong. Stepping cautiously toward it, she exhaled when she realized the lump in the chair was Micah. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, his arms crossed at his chest and his head resting on the back of the chair.

He didn’t look very comfortable, but he did look incredibly inviting. She truly wanted to curl up in his arms again, only this time with both of them awake and her not crying all over him.

Olivia had never thought of herself as a risk-taker. She’d never thought of herself as particularly daring or brave, but she decided now would be the perfect time to start. Micah had shown that he had a tender side by carrying her upstairs and putting her to bed. Now she wanted to see a wilder side to him.

She knew the attraction she felt for him wasn’t one-sided. Considering her options, Olivia took a deep breath and unzipped her skirt. Pulling it off, she stood before him in the lacy thong, her push-up bra and silk blouse. Unbuttoning the top two buttons on her blouse, Olivia stepped closer to the sleeping Micah.

With one hand she reached out and touched his face. Those incredible brown eyes opened slowly, sleep clouding them. Awareness came sooner than she’d expected, but he didn’t move other than to blink at her. Olivia smiled as she moved closer. Raising both hands to her blouse, she unbuttoned it the rest of the way.

Micah sat up, his eyes gleaming as they followed her motions. Still, he didn’t reach for her, didn’t try to take over. It almost felt as though he knew how important this was to her, knew she had to do this herself. Almost as though he knew she had to take this chance, this opportunity for her own peace of mind.

Moving so that she straddled his legs, Olivia shrugged out of her shirt, letting it fall behind her as she placed her knees on either side of Micah’s legs in the chair.

Putting her hands behind his head, she tugged at the end of his braid until she could unravel his hair. She combed her hands through those silky locks and watched him tilt his head back, his eyes closing in pleasure. Leaning forward, she took advantage of his position to kiss him. Light, teasing kisses along his jaw and cheeks.