Кирстен Уайт - Paranormalcy

I treasure each and every soul I’ve been given. They’re mine, and I love them, and they keep me warm.”

For the first time I noticed the golden flames behind her. Now I understood what they were. It should have made me sad, but I wanted them more than ever before. I didn’t want to be empty.

“I’m supposed to kill you.” Her voice was low and serious. “All their stupid prophecies, they want me to get rid of you before you figure out what you can do. And I could. Kill you, I mean. You don’t understand anything. You don’t even know how to take the souls, and I’ve got so much power now.” She looked thoughtful. I wanted to run, but she was so still and had my hand in hers. “But I don’t want to. The stupid fey, they think they know everything, they think they can control me. I’m tired of them and I’m tired of being alone. We’re family. We should be together, you know?”

I didn’t know what to say. How do you respond when someone tells you how easy it would be to kill you, then says she wants to be best friends, family?

“I can’t find you.” Her gaze intensified. “Even the faeries that are helping me can’t find you. Tell me where you are.”

The souls moved closer, dazzling me with their blinding beauty. She could teach me how to get my own. I opened my mouth, and then I heard Lend laugh. Looking over, I watched us. His arms were around me, his mouth close to my ear. “I’m with him,” I whispered, pulling away from Vivian.

She looked hurt, then her mouth curled into a cruel smile. “Sure. Tell him what you are and let me know if you’re still with him. You’ll see. I’m the only one you have. The only one.”

She drew the flames into herself again, so bright and terribly beautiful I started crying.

When I woke up I was still crying. It was just turning light outside, but I’d never get back to sleep. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. She was right. I was empty. I was alone and cold, and I’d always known it. I pulled out the neck of my T-shirt and looked down. My wrist hadn’t changed since Reth burned me, but my heart had definitely gotten a little brighter.

And then I had a thought. A horrible, horrible thought. What if I had been sucking life and energy from Lend? What if I was killing him? I finally got a boyfriend, I was pretty sure I loved him, and here I was, stealing his soul.

I had to leave, run away to somewhere where I couldn’t hurt anyone, especially not Lend. But after how he opened up to me, how much he trusted me, I owed him more than that. Trying not to cry, I padded across the hall to the room he was staying in. Lend was asleep, almost invisible, sprawled out and tangled in the blankets. He looked adorable. It broke my heart. Next to him on the bedside table was his open sketchbook.

Tiptoeing over, I saw in the pale dawn light what he had been working on. It was a portrait of me, probably one he had started in art class. I was in this sassy pose, holding Tasey and giving this awesome I rock! look to all the world. Lend drew me the way he saw me, and I was beautiful.

I totally started bawling. Lend sat up, startled awake, and color flooded into him. “Evie? What’s wrong?”

I shook my head; I could barely see him through my tears. “I think I’m killing you.”

PINK, SHINY LOVE

L end looked confused. “You think you’re killing me?”

“I just—Vivian said—And I’m getting brighter, and—”

“Calm down.” Lend scooted over and patted the bed next to him. Sniffling, I sat down, careful not to touch him. “What are you talking about?”

“I know who’s doing this. Her name is Vivian and she’s my sister—sort of, I guess? She said we’re not really sisters, but we’re the same thing.”

“When did you talk to her?” He sounded surprised and nervous.

“Last night. And a couple of other nights. While I was sleeping, in my dreams.”

He tried not to smile. “So you’ve been dreaming that this thing is your sister?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I thought they were just dreams, thought I was going crazy because I was worried, but then she told me she’d send me a message and she did, on my communicator. It’s downstairs in the kitchen in a drawer. I found it, I’m sorry.”

Lend frowned. “Seriously?”

I nodded, wishing it weren’t true.

“Wow. So what has she been telling you?”

“It’s kind of confusing. But she says we’re the same thing, that we weren’t born, we were made.

That we’re empty, and she said—” I started crying again “—I don’t have a soul. I’m just empty and cold like her, and that’s why she takes the souls. To fill herself up. But she thinks she’s doing a good thing, setting the paranormals free from this world. Her souls are always there, glowing and beautiful, and she said the faeries want her to kill me, but she wants us to be a family.”

Lend was quiet; so quiet. I waited for him to shout for his dad, to back away in terror.

“She says that if I don’t start taking these souls, the energy, that I’ll die, since I don’t have a soul of my own. But I don’t want to! And, Lend, I’m so sorry, but I’ve been getting brighter, my heart, and —what if I’m taking your soul? When we touch, kiss?” I could barely talk I was crying so hard now. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m so, so sorry.”

He sat motionless for a long time. Then, to my shock, he reached out and took my hand. I tried to pull back. “No! I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Evie,” he said, his voice tender and serious. He held my hand tighter. “Do you really think that’s true? Even if this Vivian is who you think she is, why would she tell you the truth?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. It makes sense. Why else would we look the same? And the glowing? And I’ve always felt cold and empty.”

He reached out and put his hand on my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You have a soul. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. No one as bright and happy and caring as you could not have a soul.”

“But what about the glowing? It’s getting stronger.”

“Do you feel yourself pulling anything out of me? Does it feel like what Reth did to you?”

I frowned, thinking about it. Lend made me warm and happy, but it wasn’t the same. Reth’s always felt foreign, like something new was being put in. With Lend, it was like he was warming what was already inside me. I shook my head. “But you don’t feel weaker?”

He laughed. “Not at all. If anything, I have more energy than ever. And I’m definitely happier than

I’ve ever been.”

I couldn’t believe it. Here I’d just told him I was a monster, that I was designed to suck souls out of paranormals, and he was okay with it. “But I know I’m the same thing Vivian is. I talked to your mom. She said it was true.”

“She talked to you? Wow. She doesn’t show up for anyone except me and my dad. Did she think you were going to do anything bad?”

“No. She said that I could make my choices, but she didn’t know what would happen.”

“Well, there you have it. I don’t care if you’re the same thing as this Vivian. She’s a lunatic. You’re not. And, besides, if she’s working with the faeries and they want her to kill you, who’s to say that anything she’s telling you is true? Even if she thinks it is, she could be totally wrong. Or she could be lying, trying to trick you into meeting her so that she can kill you.”

“Maybe. I think she was raised by faeries. She knows a bunch of their prophecies and stuff, but she doesn’t like them very much.” I frowned. “She seems pretty lonely and sad.” I couldn’t imagine what being raised by faeries would have been like. As weird as my life was, at least I had people who cared about me. I looked at Lend. “You’re really not scared of me now?”