Sarah Sparrow - A Guide for Murdered Children

They shared a pleasant half hour, with Ronnie doing most of the talking. He extolled the quiet life in Farmington Hills and waxed proud over the tool-fitting business that “allows me to spend most of my time at home, which I’ve come to view as the best revenge.” When he finally asked after Adelaide, Willow said, “She’s great. You know, I actually work for Owen now”—a segue designed not only to get the old scandale of his divorce aboveboard and behind them but to serve as entrée to a discussion of the revisiting of the case. Ronnie didn’t bite, which seemed strange. If he already knew that Willow was heading up the task force—hence the house call—he wasn’t yet ready or willing to go there.

They were getting nearer to the heart of the visit when Ronnie said, “How’s Pace doing?” Willow almost whipped out his phone to show him his daughter’s picture—Larkin’s too—but thought better of it. He didn’t want to rub the continuity of life in his face. Ronnie told him that Pace had been sending birthday and holiday cards for years, something she’d never shared with Willow. Through it all, the elephant in the room was Elaine’s absence. He would ask about her in a minute; first things first.

“I don’t know if you read about it in the paper but the City Council voted to fund a Cold Case unit. Since I had somewhat of a career doing that in Manhattan, Owen asked me to come aboard.”

“Well, isn’t that something?” he said, with that Stepfordy smile. The detective got the sense he would have reacted the same if he told him he’d been knighted by the queen.

“And we’ve decided to reopen the case.”

“Uh huh”—again, with a curious, shiny affectlessness.

“It’s kind of interesting how all this came about…”

His words trailed off because at the moment he was about to explain how it wasn’t his idea at all but that of his recruits, Willow realized the intense irrelevance of those details.

“Well, we’ve made our peace with it, Dubya,” said Ronnie, this time wincing a smile. “Elaine and I made our peace, best we could. One thing I have to say is… I just don’t think I’d be here—well, I know I wouldn’t, and I think I can speak for my wife—we would not be here without the Lord Our Savior. He provided comfort in our darkest hours. And boy, we’ve had a number of them.”

“I don’t doubt.”

“We still have those times—but through His mercy, they’re fewer and farther between.”

“I’ve been circling ‘faith’ myself the last few years,” said Willow, trying to make a bridge.

“Come to church with us! We have a marvelous pastor.”

“I’d like to, Ronnie. I’d like that very much.”

“If the Lord has shown me anything, it’s that all happens for a reason. I know that’s become a cliché but most clichés have tremendous power, have you noticed? We call them clichés because they contain essential truths that sometimes are pretty tough to wrap your head around. The more simple a truth is—well, it’s human nature to either ignore it or make it complicated. So we turn these beautiful truths into greeting cards. But our—the children…” His voice broke. “There was a reason and it’s not for us to know. It’s for Him and Him alone. And that’s enough for me. It wasn’t at first—oh, not for a long time. I was too damn arrogant. But it is now. It’s enough. How little we know, Willow. How little.”

“I don’t think we’re meant to.”

“That’s right, sir. Because He’s too big and we’re too small. More will be revealed—there’s another greeting card phrase for you, but it’s a good’n. If I wasn’t in polite company,” he said with a wink and a laugh, “I’d say more will be revealed on Judgment Day —but I wouldn’t want anyone who was listening to think I’m a kook.”

“Nothing kooky about you, my friend. I heard a lot of wisdom there.”

Willow felt comfortable enough to dance around some memories of that afternoon. He lightly touched on the Persons of Interest—Ebenezer Jamison and some known felons who lived in the area at the time. He even brought up Grundy, Roy Eakins’s challenged son. He had to start somewhere and you never knew the quality of light that would refract through the prism of someone else’s memory. The detective was open to both the hard facts and what he called the “ineffables.” It was part and parcel of the black art.

“Ebenezer was short a few cylinders but didn’t have a mean bone in his body,” said Ronnie. “I’d have never sent the kids over there if he did. And Grundy? They jumped the shark with that one. When Grundy Eakins got thrown in the mix, that was the day I knew in my heart that we’d never find who took my babies. That big lunk of a damaged boy? And he was there , at the barbecue, remember? I told Owen, ‘You’re grasping at straws, come on, man!’ None of those felons and perverts ever came to a hill of beans. The one thing I do know, Willow, is that it was someone outside the community. From the outside—the palm prints proved it! Whoever did it is in jail or running a successful business or dead. Only the Lord our God knows.”

Every man in Saggerty Falls had given a palm print to the department for comparison to the one found on Maya’s unicorn birthday card. At the time, it struck Willow as an emotional, largely symbolic act of solidarity, though in later years it bothered him that the women of the Falls hadn’t been asked to do the same.

Willow started to feel like he was flying a little too close to the flame. He made the decision to come back with Daniel and Lydia in tow, and mentally prepared to take his leave.

That was when Ronnie said, “Would you like to see Elaine?”

“Well, yes!”

“She apologizes for not coming out. I’ll walk you back and you can say hello.”

2.

Ronnie brought him to the bedroom door and disappeared.

Willow’s heart was in his throat. He let his eyes adjust and then saw her lying there, just like the image he’d had before Ronnie greeted him at the door. Was she sleeping?

“Come in, come in!” she said, without moving a muscle. Like a ventriloquist’s dummy…

He walked to the bed.

“Hi, Ellie.”

“Well, for goodness sake, Willow, take off your damn shoes! Lordie, do you know what kind of gunk lives on the bottom of our shoes? I read about it online and it’s worse than a crocodile’s mouth. Worse than a toilet!” she laughed. “That’s why I love the Japanese culture. They take their shoes off when they come home, leave ’em right at the door. That’s just common sense, don’t you think?”

“I do, absolutely,” he said with a smile.

Same old feisty Elaine.

(The patch of light at her feet was the little television.)

She turned her head to look at him. “Willow Wylde—my, my, my. How good it is to see you.”

“Nice to be seen,” he said, falling back on the AA retort.

“And how kind of you to visit! I haven’t seen my husband so excited since the gal from Mary Kay tried to sell him—well, it must’ve been the whole line . She was here for three hours. If I didn’t know Ronnie better, I’d have thought… maybe he was interested.”

He chuckled and said, “I made a play for you a few times. And I wasn’t even working for Mary Kay.”

“No, but you were drinking like a fish. You were a naughty, naughty boy.”

“Still am, I hope.”

“That remains to be seen,” she said flirtily. “Now, do you remember me trying to hook you up with Penny Lancaster?”

“Oh do I.”

She got titillated. “Do you mean to say, naughty man, that something happened between you two without my knowledge?”