Аманда Хокинг - Flutter

Suddenly, the bedroom door to Mae and Ezra’s room slammed loudly. I could hear quick footsteps, and Mae repeatedly saying the word no. When she appeared in the kitchen, she looked more haggard than I had ever seen her before. Her cheeks and eyes were red from crying, and her honey curls were pulled back in a very messy bun. Tissue was wadded up tightly in her hand, and she was all but glaring at us. Ezra followed close behind her, looking much better than he had the last few days. He didn’t appear nearly as upset as Mae, but his expression was grim. He watched her more than he looked at us, and when he reached out for her, she pulled away from him.

“Where have you been?” Mae demanded, her warm voice more shrill than I had ever heard it before.

Bobby had been in the middle of chewing, but he gulped the rest of it down whole and moved closer to Milo, so he could protect him from Mae. That would’ve sounded ridiculous to me, too, if I hadn’t seen how frantic she looked.

“Why? D-did something happen?” Jack asked carefully.

“Just answer the damn question!” Mae shouted, making us all jump. Her hands were balled up at her sides, and stray curls were sticking to hear tear stained cheeks. “You think you all can just come and go as you please! This isn’t a hotel! We are a family and this is our home! You can at least have the common courtesy to tell me where you are! You know I worry about you all!”

“Sorry?” I apologized uncertainly. I looked to Ezra for help, but he was too busy watching her to give us any hint about what the hell was going on.

“Yeah, we’re really sorry,” Milo chimed in, more sincerely than I did.

“We didn’t mean to not tell you,” Jack elaborated. “We just left in kind of a hurry, I guess.”

“Where did you go that was so important you couldn’t let me know?” Mae had fixed her gaze on Jack because he had offered the most up, and he tried to shrink back from it, wrapping his arms over his chest. He shift uneasily and glanced at me, but I shook my head. I didn’t want any part of her hysteria.

“We just, uh, went to the club to look-” He’d barely gotten out the word “club” before her eyes widened and she cut him off.

“The club? Not the vampire club? None of you would be that stupid to do something as risky and dangerous as that without even letting me know?” Mae was completely aghast, and Jack looked at his feet, so she turned the rest of us, who mirrored his posture. “After everything that has happened to you there! Why would you even consider that? Alice can barely handle herself at home, let alone in a crowd, and Milo, you know what happens to humans you bring there! What are you thinking? Do you all have a death wish? Just because you can live forever doesn’t mean you will!”

“We were going there after Jane,” I offered quietly, hoping to appease her some.

“If you all want to die, I can’t save you!” Mae ignored me and threw her hands up in the air.

“I can’t save you! I can’t save anybody! You would think that when everyone you loved was immortal, you wouldn’t have anything to worry about!” A fresh tear slid down her cheek, and I wanted to hug her or comfort her in someway, but I didn’t know how. I was afraid that anything I did would just set her off more, and I didn’t even really know what was wrong.

“We’re really, really sorry,” Milo repeated emphatically.

“I can’t save anybody!” Mae wailed, her voice cracking painfully.

“Mae,” Ezra whispered gently. She had started sobbing, doubling over and holding her sides.

He reached out for her, wrapping his arms firmly around her and trying to hold her up. “Mae, love, it’s all right.”

“It is not all right!” Mae tried pushing him away, but he held steadfast onto her. “You know it’s not all right! This is not how it’s supposed to be!” She was crying harder, her words lost completely in her tears, so she turned and buried her face in his chest. She had given up on fighting him, and just collapsed against Ezra.

They stood that way for a minute, Mae crying into him as he murmured words of comfort in her hair.

The rest of us just stared at them, unsure of what was happening or what we should do. I turned to Jack, but he was just as clueless as I was. Bobby was still cowering behind Milo, and neither of them were any help. The dog licked at Jack’s hand, but he just pushed her away. We weren’t really sure if we should leave or stay there or speak or what, so we just stared.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” I began carefully when Mae seemed to be a little more composed.

I twisted nervously at the rag and glanced back at Jack, who nodded encouragingly at me. Most likely, he was just relieved that I was putting myself out there instead of him. Getting the end of Mae’s wrath was awfully unpleasant. “But, um, what is going on?”

“Mae went to visit her family, her human family,” Ezra explained quietly. Even though his words were meant to soothing, for Mae, I could hear the hint of disapproval in them. He didn’t think that Mae should have anything to do with the humans she had left behind when she turned, but she insisted on driving out to check on them, although she never interacted with them. “Tonight, she found that her greatgranddaughter is terminally ill, and she only has a matter of months to live.” Mae’s body shook with sobs, and he held her more tightly to him. Just hearing him say it aloud devastated her.

Mae had been twenty-eight when she turned, leaving behind a young daughter. Her change had not been by choice, and she had to leave a family that meant everything to her. As a result, she had been forced to watch her daughter grow up from a distance, and then her granddaughter, and now her great-grandchildren.

Ezra had tolerated her fondness for them because he loved her so much, but he had given her a deadline.

They were going to have to move away from them soon, because she couldn’t spend her entire existence watching her future generations getting old and dying. Thankfully, her daughter was still alive, as was the rest of her extended family. The only one that had died had been Mae’s husband, and she had been very upset over that.

The hardest part for Mae was that she had had an infant son that died, several years before her daughter was born. It had almost killed her, and Mae swore that she would never outlive any of her other children. Unfortunately, she had become immortal, so she would have no choice. But nothing could’ve prepared her for losing her five-year-old great-granddaughter. I doubt she could even wrap her mind around losing her daughter, let alone a child. This had to be some of the most devastating news Mae had ever gotten.

“Mae, I am so sorry.” I went to her, and she pulled away from Ezra just enough so she could hug me.

As much as she loved him, at that moment, she wanted a child, and I had become a surrogate daughter for her. She held onto me so tightly it was painful, but I said nothing. I just let her hug me and cry onto my shoulder.

Eventually, she calmed down and apologized for her behavior. By then, Milo and Bobby had snuck up to their room, much to my annoyance. Ezra stayed by her side, in case she might need her, but Jack had ventured into the backyard with Matilda to give us a bit more privacy. When Mae could speak clearly, she explained that Daisy, her great-granddaughter, had been looking under the weather the last few months, but it wasn’t until tonight that she was able to overhear them talking and found out exactly what was going on.

That, on top of nearly losing Ezra, Peter, and me, left her feeling incredibly frantic and desperate tonight.

Ezra was convinced that rest was the best solution to her current state, and he was starting look rather drained himself. It probably didn’t help that he was already in a weakened condition from everything that had happened in Finland. He helped Mae back down to their room, looking apologetically back at me as he did.