Аманда Хокинг - Flutter

“This is you helping?” Peter laughed darkly.

“How do you want me to help? What do you want me to do?” I shouted at him, frustrated.

“Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it!”

“I want you to-” Peter started, looking pained and surprisingly vulnerable, but then he stopped and shook his head. His face fell and he collapsed heavily back on the bed. “I don’t want anything from you. Not anymore.”

On the night stand next to my bed, my phone started ringing, distracting me from whatever argument I was attempting to build in my head. The ringtone was familiar to both of us, and Peter eyed up my phone with a hint of disgust. I had been hoping that their mutual distaste would evaporate, but by the look on Peter’s face, that was not going to happen any time soon.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Peter asked snidely.

“Not right now. I’m busy.” To avoid the surprise in Peter’s eyes, I looked down at the floor and tucked my hair behind my ears. It was Jack calling, and since I didn’t really have anything helpful to tell him, I didn’t want to answer.

“Doesn’t he have you on some kind of string?” Peter asked pointedly after the ringing finally stopped.

“You mean like you did?” I tried to give him a harsh look, but he just stared back at me, unaffected.

“Yeah, I do,” Peter nodded. “If I had called you before, you would’ve answered no matter what you were doing. It just seems odd to me that if you’re bonded-”

“That I’m capable of still thinking for myself?” I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I still can. And I did with you too, otherwise I never would’ve been able to do things with Jack.” His eyes flashed hard again, and I wondered why I kept trying to set him off. “But I thought you said we weren’t really bonded anyway.”

“I don’t know what to think,” Peter relented, lowering his eyes. That whole thing with us had been a horrible, peculiar mess, but it was behind us. It was time to move on.

“Why did you come here?” I asked gently, attempting to really talk to him. “If it wasn’t because of what happened-”

“Of course it was because of what happened,” Peter sighed, sounding irritated. “Of course it was because of you.” He looked back up at me, his eyes uncertain and exposed. “Is that what you want to hear?”

“I’m just trying to talk to you and reason with you! I don’t want anything from you except the truth!”

“That is the truth!” Peter growled, and then instantly regretted saying it. Almost apologetically, he added, “I’m not blaming you.”

“I know you’re not,” I admitted.

That didn’t mean that I wouldn’t feel guilty about everything that happened. It had been hard not to paint Peter as the bad guy through everything that had happened, but he really wasn’t. He was trapped in the same web as Jack and I, but unlike us, he had to fight to get out on his own. We were still together, and his only option had been a botched suicide attempt in Finland.

“I know that we screwed up, or rather, I screwed up,” I attempted an apology. “I’m not gonna say that you didn’t make mistakes, but we all did. The way that Jack and I were sneaking around, that was kind of unfair to you, and I’m sorry. I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. I never meant to hurt you. I just… I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t around. I couldn’t talk to you and try to sort this out with you.”

“Oh, like the outcome would’ve been any different if you had?” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Yes!” I insisted emphatically, and my intensity surprised him. “Things would’ve turned out so much better! You fought me on every turn with this! If you had just sat down and had a reasonable conversation, do you think it really would’ve come to this?”

“Everything with you has always been so complicated.” Peter ran a hand through his dark hair, which looked amazingly silky after the shower. “I didn’t know what to say you. I didn’t even know what I wanted.”

“What do you want now?” I asked him directly.

Peter chewed his lip and stared off at my empty bed. He was actually thinking about his answer and that reassured me. Everything bad happened when he or Jack did something rash. If they actually took time to actually consider things, we could’ve avoided a lot more messes. Ezra probably wouldn’t be out there, trying to barter with lycans for Peter’s freedom.

“I don’t want Ezra out there right now,” Peter said thickly, and his green eyes were swimming with regret. “I wish you weren’t here.” He shook his head before I could get offended. “I don’t want you to get hurt. This is dangerous. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I was just pissed off and I wanted to… I don’t know.

But I just want to fix this.”

“Ezra is the best chance for keeping us all alive. We have to just let him work his magic and hope for the best.” I wished I had something more convincing to say, but that was all Ezra had left me with. “But when this is over, assuming that Ezra makes it all go away, are you gonna come back home with us?”

“Do really think that’s wise?” The way Peter looked at me, I knew there was nothing rhetorical about it. After the month he had, he probably wanted nothing more than to just come home. That didn’t necessarily mean that was the best decision for him, though, and he was checking to see how Jack and Milo would react.

“It’s your home. We’re your family. All of us,” I told him honestly, and that seemed to satisfy him into almost smiling.

He might’ve actually smiled if my phone hadn’t started ringing again, and I knew that I had to do something about it. If Jack was calling repeatedly in such a short time frame, that must mean that he wants something. Or that something was wrong. Either way, I didn’t feel right about just letting it ring.

“I should probably get that.” I pointed to the phone sheepishly.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Peter nodded, but his expression had gone stony.

I had barely even hit the answer button when I heard Jack yelling anxiously, “What the hell have you been doing, Alice? Are you okay? What’s going on? I’ve been trying to reach you for days!”

“I’ve been busy, Jack.” I tried to sound irritated, but the sound of his voice melted away any hint of annoyance I could possibly muster. My heart ached for him, and I was desperate to be with him. This had been the longest week and a half of my entire life. With Peter sitting on the bed behind me, I didn’t want to let any of that on. It felt rude somehow. “We’ve been looking for Peter. Remember?”

“Why can’t you call? Or answer a text message? Or let me know that you’re still alive?” Jack demanded. He was trying to sound mad, but the relief was all too audible.

“I’m sorry.” I had to swallow back tears, and I glanced back over my should to check on Peter. He started to get up off the bed, sending fresh terror through me. “Where are you going?”

“What? I’m not going anywhere?” Jack was bewildered on the phone.

“No, not you,” I told him and nodded at Peter, who looked quizzically at me. “What are you doing?”

“Going to the bathroom. Is that okay with you?” Peter tried to make a joke, but I could tell that he was genuinely distressed over listening to me talk to Jack.

“Yeah. Just don’t leave the room, okay?” I didn’t really trust him not to sneak away, either to stop Ezra or throw himself in the mouths of the enemy.

“Whatever you say.” Peter saluted me, then snuck off into the bathroom. A few seconds later, I heard the water running, and I suspected that he was trying to down out the sound of me talking.

“Who is that?” Jack’s voice had gotten icy, so he knew exactly who it was.