Аманда Хокинг - Switched

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Probably like growing up in a boarding school with a strict headmistress. She was always lurking in the background, and I knew that she had the final say on everything. But her interaction with me was an absolute minimum.” He looked at me again, this time uncertainly.

“What?”

“She’s not quite as secretive as she thinks, though. This is a big house, but I was a sneaky little kid,” Rhys said, looking away from me. He bit his lip and fiddled with a button on his blazer. “You know she used to sleep with Finn’s dad?”

“I did,” I said quietly.

“I thought he would tell you.” Rhys fell silent for a minute, chewing his lip. “Elora was in love with him. She’s strange when she’s in love. Her face is different, softer and more radiant.” Rhys shook his head, lost in a memory. “It’s almost worse seeing her like that, knowing that she’s capable of kindness and generosity. It makes you feel gypped that all you ever get is icy glares from across the room.”

“I’m sorry.” I put my hand gently on his arm. I couldn’t imagine how horrible it had been for him to grow up like that. He forced a smile at me, then shook his head, clearing it of the memory.

“Anyway. He left Elora, for his wife, which is just as well.” Rhys looked thoughtful for a moment. “Although, I bet she would’ve thrown it all away to be with him, if he had really loved her. But that’s not the point.”

“What is the point?” I asked shakily.

“Rumor has it she keeps Finn around because of the torch she was still carrying for his old man. I don’t know if that’s true or not. She never confided anything in me, and nothing’s ever happened between them.” Rhys let out a heavy sigh. “At least… Finn never looked at her the way he looks at you.” He let it hang in the air for a second as I tried to figure out what he meant by that.

“So you’ve got that strike against you too. She never wanted to be a mother, and you’re getting the one thing she never had.”

“What are you talking about?” I demanded nervously.

“Wendy.” Rhys looked at me with a sad smile. “I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but you’re just as bad.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stuttered and looked away from him.

“Alright,” Rhys laughed hollowly. “Whatever you say.”

My knees seemed to have weakened, and I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. Rhys followed suit, making some joke that I didn’t really catch. My mind was racing and my heart was pounding. Rhys must be imagining things. And even if he wasn’t, surely Elora wouldn’t punish him for that. Would she?

Finn reached the landing of the top of the steps, and I scrambled to my feet. He had probably only been with Elora for fifteen minutes or so, but in my mind, it felt like hours that stretched on forever. Rhys was sitting next to me, but he got up much slower than I had. Finn looked over us with some disdain, then turned and started walking to his room without a word towards me.

“Finn!” I jogged after him, but Rhys rather smartly decided not to follow. “Wait! Finn! What happened?”

“A conversation,” Finn replied glibly. I scurried to keep up with him, but he made no effort to slow down. He glanced back over his shoulder, looking for Rhys, but refused to look at me. “I thought I told you to stay away from the mänsklig.”

“Rhys was just sitting with me while I waited for you,” I said. “Get over it.”

“It’s very dangerous for you to be around him.” Finn had reached his bedroom, and he paused at the door, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

“It’s dangerous for you to be around me.”

“What’s that supposed to be mean?” I demanded.

Finn went to his room without answering, but I pushed in right behind him. He tried to shut the door, but I knew he wouldn’t risk injuring me, so he put up very little fight when I barged into his room. Once I was in there, he took a step back from me and rubbed his forehead.

“You shouldn’t be here. These are my private quarters,” Finn said flatly.

“Just tell me what’s going on, and I will.” I crossed my arms firmly on my chest, staring up at him. I didn’t appreciate the way he wouldn’t look at me anymore. He was always looking everywhere but at me, and I missed his dark eyes.

“I have been relieved of my duties,” Finn answered carefully. “Elora no longer perceives a threat, and I have been insubordinate. I am to pack my things, and leave the premises as soon as possible.”

The air had completely gone out of the room. It had been my worst fear. Finn was going to leave, and it was all my fault. He had been defending me when I should’ve been defending myself. Or I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

“What?” I gaped at him when I could finally speak. “That’s not right.

You can’t… You’ve been here for so long, and Elora trusts you. She can’t…

It’s my fault! I’m the one that refused to listen!”

“No, it’s not you fault,” Finn insisted firmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well, you can’t just leave! I have the ball tomorrow, and I don’t know anything!” I continued desperately. “I’m not a Princess at all! You have so much left to help me with!”

“I wouldn’t be helping you after the ball anyway,” Finn shook his head.

“A tutor will be coming in to help you learn everything you need to know from here on out. You’re ready for the ball, no matter what Elora says. You’ll do wonderfully tomorrow.”

“But you won’t be here?” I looked at him, unbelieving, and he turned away from me.

“You don’t need me,” Finn said quietly and started gathering up his things.

“This is my fault!” I repeated. “I’m gonna talk to Elora. I’ll clear this all up. You can’t leave, and she has to see that.”

“Wendy, no, you can’t-” Finn tried to stop me, but I had already started out the door.

There was this unbearable panic settling over me. Finn had forced me to leave the only people who had ever made me feel okay about myself, and I had done it because I trusted him. But now he was going to leave me, alone with Elora and a monarchy I didn’t want. Rhys would still be here, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before she sent him off as well. I was going to be more alone and isolated than I ever had been before, and I couldn’t handle it.

Even as I was running down the stairs to Elora’s room, I knew it was more than that. I knew that I just couldn’t stand to lose Finn, and it didn’t matter how Elora or anyone else treated me. A life without him just didn’t seem possible anymore. I hadn’t even fully realized how important he had become to me until Elora was threatening to take him away.

“Elora!” I threw open the drawing room door without knocking, and I knew it would piss her off, but I didn’t care. Maybe if I was insubordinate enough, she would send me away too.

Elora stood in front of the windows, staring out at the black night, and she wasn’t startled at all by the banging of the door as I threw it open. Without turning to look at me, she calmly said, “That’s completely unnecessary, and it goes without saying that that is not at all how a Princess behaves.”

“You’re always going on about how a Princess should behave, but what about how a Queen should act?” I countered icily. “Are such an insecure ruler that you can’t handle the slightest bit of dissention? If we don’t bow instantly to you opinion, you ship us off?”

“I assume this is about Finn,” Elora sighed.

“You had no right to fire him!” I shouted. “He did nothing wrong!”