Аманда Хокинг - Torn

“Why are they coming after you?”

“It’s a very long story, and I’ll tell you later.” I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t have the strength for that lengthy explanation. At least not right now.

“But they will stop, won’t they?” Matt asked, and I nodded as if I actually believed it.

“Until then, I want you to stay here. I need to know you’re safe,” I said. I wasn’t sure how Elora would feel about that, but I didn’t care.

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” he said with an edge to his voice, and guilt tightened my heart.

“I’m really sorry about that, Matt.”

“You could’ve told me about all of this.”

“You wouldn’t have believed any of it.”

“Wendy. This is me, okay?” He turned to face me, and I finally looked at him.

“Yeah, this is really hard to believe, and I know that if I hadn’t seen it for myself, I’d find it even harder. But I’ve always been on your side. You should’ve trusted me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” I lowered my eyes. “But I’m glad you’re here and that I’m telling you stuff now. It was hard for me, keeping things from you. I don’t wanna do it again.”

“Good.”

“But you should call Maggie,” I said. “She needs to know where we are, and she can’t go home. Not now. I don’t know if they would take her to get at me.”

“Are you safe here?” Matt asked. “Like really safe?”

“Yeah, of course I am.” I said it with more conviction than I really had. “Duncan’s outside standing guard right now.”

“That kid’s an idiot,” Matt said seriously, and I laughed.

“No, we’re safe. Don’t worry,” I assured him as I stood up. “But you should call Maggie, and I should shower and put on my own clothes.”

“What should I tell her?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “Just make sure she doesn’t go home.”

I promised Matt I’d see him later and explain more to him then, but I needed a moment to decompress. Duncan tried to follow me down the hall into my room, but I wouldn’t let him in.

It wasn’t until I was in the shower, with the sound of the water drowning me out, that I let myself cry. I don’t even really know why I was crying. Part of it had to do with Finn, leaving me that way again, but most of it was just because it was too much.

After I got dressed, I felt better. Everything had turned out alright, as in we all survived with only minor injuries. On top of that, I got to have Matt around me again.

I didn’t know for how long, but at least he knew the truth now.

And I finally knew why the Vittra were so fixated on me. Sure, the answer didn’t really make things any easier, but I understood, and that was something.

When I thought about it, the only real dark spot was Finn’s absence. It left a dull ache inside my chest, but I had to ignore it. There were too many other things going for me to sit around missing him.

I hated that he’d even come at all. It would’ve been easier if he’d just left me alone, and I’d never seen him again.

I went over to Matt’s room and discovered Rhys keeping him company. Elora had fixed him, much to my relief, and Rhys said that I’d have to begin my “training” soon to harness my abilities. I didn’t know exactly what that would entail, but I didn’t want to pump him for information.

I sat down in an overstuffed chair in his room and decided to tell Matt everything.

Rhys had told him some in the Vittra dungeon, but I wanted to fill in the blanks. More importantly, I thought Matt needed to hear it from me.

I started from the beginning, explaining how Elora had switched me for Rhys. I told him how Finn had been sent to track me and bring me here, about what it meant to be a Princess, and about the Trylle and their abilities.

The whole time I talked, Rhys said nothing but watched with rapt interest. I’m not sure how much of this he already knew.

Matt didn’t say much of anything, either, only asking the occasional question. He began pacing when I started talking, but he didn’t seem anxious or confused. When I finished, he stood silently for a minute, absorbing it all.

“So?” I asked when he still didn’t say anything.

“So… do you guys still eat?” Matt looked over at me. “Cause I’m starving.”

“Yeah, of course we do,” I smiled, feeling relieved.

“I wouldn’t call what they eat food,” Rhys scoffed. He’d been sitting on the bed, but he stood since the conversation appeared to be wrapping up.

“What do you mean?” Matt asked.

“Well, you lived with Wendy. You have to know how she eats.” Rhys realized he might have said something wrong, and he hurried to correct it. “Trylle are more careful eaters than us. They don’t drink pop or eat meat really.”

Matt stared at Rhys for a moment longer, then glanced at me. There was something new in Matt’s eyes, something I was feeling for the first time myself.

Rhys had just put Matt and himself into an “us” versus me in a “them.”

I had never and could never think of Matt as less than me, but we were different.

We were separate. And despite all the differences between us that had been so obvious, it felt weird to actually know it, to have someone articulate that we weren’t even the same species.

“Fortunately, I have a fridge stocked with real food,” Rhys pushed on, trying to change the mood in the room. “And I’m a pretty decent cook. Ask Wendy.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty good,” I lied, but I wasn’t that hungry anymore. My stomach had tightened, and I was amazed that I could even force a smile at them both.

“Come on. Let’s get some food.”

Rhys thought that talking nonstop would make up for his small blunder, and neither Matt nor I contradicted him. We walked down to the kitchen, with Duncan tagging along as soon as I’d left Matt’s room.

Duncan’s constant presence irritated me far more than Finn’s ever had, even though Duncan hadn’t really done anything. Maybe it was simply because he was there and Finn wasn’t.

I pulled up a stool to the kitchen counter and watched Matt and Rhys interact.

Rhys kept playing up his cooking skills, but once Matt saw him in action, he realized that he’d better take the lead. I propped my chin up on my hand, feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions as they talked and laughed and teased each other.

Part of me was thrilled that they got to have each other in their lives, the way they should’ve from the beginning. Depriving Rhys of a wonderful big brother like Matt had been a very cruel side effect of the changeling process.

But part of me couldn’t help but feel like I was losing my brother.

“Do you mind if I have a water?” Duncan asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Why would I care if you had a water?” I looked at him like he was an idiot, but he didn’t notice. Or maybe he got it so often, he thought that was how people looked at him.

“I don’t know. Some Trylle don’t like when trackers use their stuff.” Duncan went over to the fridge to get a bottled water, while Matt attempted to teach Rhys how to flip blueberry flapjacks. It was almost noon, but none of us had breakfast yet.

“Well, how do you eat and drink if you don’t use their stuff?” I asked Duncan.

“Buy our own.” With the fridge still open, Duncan held a water towards me. “Do you want one?”

“Yeah, sure,” I shrugged. He walked over and handed it to me. “You’ve been doing this for a long time?”

“Almost twelve years, I think.” Duncan unscrewed his bottle and took a long drink.

“Wow. It’s weird it’s been that long.”

“Are you really the best they had?” I asked, trying to keep the skepticism out of my voice.