Аманда Хокинг - Torn

“And you just…” I was about to ask if she let them go without sending along help, like an army perhaps. But my gaze had moved onto the other painting and I stopped.

This one showed me, a close-up from my waist up. The background was a blur of blacks and grays, giving no indication to where I stood. I appeared much the same as I did now, except dressed much better. My hair had been left down, the dark curls lying beautifully. I had on a gorgeous white gown, decorated with diamonds that matched my necklace in the ones in my ears.

On my head, I had a crown, ornately twisted silver adorned with diamonds. My face looked expressionless, and I couldn’t tell if I was pleased or upset to be crowned, but there it was. A picture of me as Queen.

“When did you paint this?” I pointed to the painting and turned to Elora. She had her arm draped over her eyes, but she lifted it up to see what I was asking about.

“Oh that.” She dropped her arm. “Don’t concern yourself with that. You’ll drive yourself mad trying to discern and prevent the future. It’s much better letting things unfold.”

“Is this why you never seemed worried about me dying?” I asked, surprised to find how angry I felt. She knew I wouldn’t die. She had proof that I’d someday be Queen, and she hadn’t bothered letting me in on that.

“Among other things,” Elora sighed.

“What does that mean?” I snapped. “Why do you always have to be so damn cryptic all the time?”

“It doesn’t mean anything!” She sounded exasperated. “For all I know, that painting means you’ll be the Vittra Queen. The future is far too fluid to ever understand or change. And just because I paint something, it doesn’t mean it’ll come true.”

“But you predicted the attack at my christening ceremony,” I countered. “I saw the painting. You painted the ballroom on fire.”

“Yes, and I couldn’t stop it,” she said icily.

“You didn’t even try! You didn’t warn me or cancel the ceremony!”

“I tried to stop it!” She shot me an angry glare that would’ve made me cringe before, but not anymore. “I met with people. I discussed it with everyone. I told Finn and all the trackers. But I had nothing to go on. I only saw fire and chandeliers and smoke. No people. Not the room. Not even a timeframe. Do you know how many chandeliers there are in the palace alone? What was I supposed to do? Tell everyone to avoid chandeliers forever?”

“No. I don’t know,” I stammered. “You could’ve done… something.”

“It’s not until after that I understand what the vision means,” Elora said, more to herself than me. “It’s that way with all of them. It’s almost worse being able to see the future. I don’t know what it means, and I can’t stop it. Only after, it all seems so obvious.”

“So then what are you saying?” I asked. “I won’t be Queen?”

“No. I’m saying that the painting doesn’t mean anything.” She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m getting a terrible migraine. I’d rather not continue this conversation anymore.”

“Fine. Whatever.” I threw my hands up in the air, knowing I couldn’t force things with Elora. I was lucky she hadn’t summoned Finn to drag me out of here.

Then I remembered that Finn was here. I hadn’t been able to say much of anything in the car ride to Förening, but I definitely still had a lot to say to him.

I left the parlor to go track down Finn. I should be more concerned with other things, but right then, I only wanted to find a moment alone with him. A moment where we could really talk and I could … I don’t know. But I had to see him.

Instead of Finn, I found Duncan waiting a little ways down the hall. He’d been leaning against the wall, playing with his phone, but when I came out of the room, he’d straightened up. He offered a sheepish smile, and his attempt at quickly shoving his phone in his pocket only made him drop it.

“Sorry.” Duncan scrambled to pick it up when I met him. “I just wanted to give you alone time with your mother.”

“Thanks.” I started walking, and he walked with me. “Why were you waiting for me? Did you need something?”

“No. I’m your tracker now. Remember?” He looked embarrassed. “And the Vittra are really after you, so I’m on guard all the time now.”

“Right,” I nodded. I’d been hoping that since Finn had saved my life - again -

he’d be reinstated as my tracker. “Where’s Finn? I need to talk to him.”

“Finn?” Duncan’s steps faltered. “Um, he’s not your tracker anymore.”

“No, I know that. And it’s not a condemnation of your ability.” I forced a smile. “I wanted to talk to Finn for a minute.”

“No, yeah.” He shook his head. “It’s just that…” He seemed to be floundering, so I stopped walking. “I mean, he’s not your tracker. So… he left.”

“He left?” I felt that familiar pang shoot through my heart.

I shouldn’t be surprised, and I shouldn’t let it hurt me anymore. But it sprung open fresh, just like when he’d left before.

“Yeah.” Duncan stared at his feet and fiddled with his zipper. “You’re safe and everything. His job’s done, right?”

“Right,” I said numbly.

I could’ve asked where Finn had gone to, and maybe I should’ve. He couldn’t have gotten too far that fast. I’m sure Finn would say he left to protect me, or protect my honor, or something like that. But I didn’t care.

Right then, it didn’t matter what his reasons were. All I knew was that I was sick of him breaking my heart.

Tove couldn’t fix Rhys because that’s not how his abilities work. When I went upstairs after my talk with Elora, I had to send Rhys down for her to fix him. I could’ve gone with him, but I thought that Elora had her fill of me for the day.

Tove went to his house to get some rest, and I thanked him for everything he’d done. Without him, I’m not entirely sure we could’ve gotten out. Even with Oren’s lax security, Tove had opened the door and kept the trolls at bay.

Rhys had started getting Matt settled in one of the spare rooms down the hall from mine. I went to see how he was doing, and Duncan seemed far too content to follow at my heels. It took a lot of convincing, but I managed to get him to wait outside. Duncan didn’t trust Matt because he was human, but if he was going to be my tracker, he had to learn to deal with it.

Matt stood in the middle of the room, looking lost, and he’d never been the kind of guy that got lost. He’d changed into a pair of sweatpants that fit okay, but his tee shirt was snug, so I assumed he’d borrowed them from Rhys.

“How are you doing with all of this?” I asked, closing the bedroom door quietly behind me when I came in.

Duncan kept his post right outside, and I didn’t want him listening. Not that I planned on saying anything secret. I just wanted a moment alone with my brother.

“Um… great?” He gave me a sad smile and shook his head. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to be doing with everything?”

“About like this.”

“None of this seems real, you know?” Matt sat down on the bed and sighed. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up, and this will all be a very strange dream.”

“I know the feeling exactly.” I remembered how confusing and scary everything had seemed when I first got here. It still seemed that way most of the time.

“How long am I staying here?” Matt asked.

“I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it.” I came over and sat on the bed next to him. Honestly, I wanted him to stay here forever, but that’d be selfish. “I guess until this all blows over. When the Vittra stop being a threat.”