Макс Фрай - The Stranger

“It’s very sweet of you to pay attention to such trifles, Melamori. But it’s news to me. It’s even hard to believe. Are you sure you’re not confused yourself?”

“Do you want to bet?” Melamori said, grinning. “Look in the mirror an hour from now. They change constantly!”

“I’m not going to bet with you,” I mumbled, handing back the mirror. “You’ll have me penniless. But for the life of me, I don’t understand why that should fill you with fear. So my eyes change color. You call that a miracle? Your whole family is from the Seven-Leaf Clover. You can’t seem to get used to it.”

“That’s just it. I know a lot, but I’ve never heard of anything of the kind. Yesterday evening, when I finally realized I wasn’t just imagining it, I even asked Uncle Kima. I didn’t mention your name; I said I had noticed it in one of the messengers. Kima also told me I was imagining it, that such things just don’t happen. I didn’t want to insist, but today I asked Sir Juffin. You know what he said?”

“Let me guess. ‘The world is full of wonders, girl.’ Or, ‘Don’t fill your head full of nonsense, Melamori.’ Am I right?”

“Almost,” Melamori said with a sigh. “He let out a big guffaw and answered that this wasn’t your only achievement. And he added that this city was full of ordinary lads, without any eccentricities, and that’s why they weren’t working in the Force.”

“That’s very nice of him,” I said and smiled. “I’ll have to thank him next time I see him.”

“Joking aside, Sir Max, are you absolutely sure you’re human?”

“I don’t know,” I said with a laugh. “It’s not something I’ve ever really thought about!”

“Sir Juffin answered me the same way. And he laughed just like you. But what am I supposed to do? Leave the Force so that I don’t have to see you? Or drink too much before every meeting with you just to pluck up my courage? Answer me, Sir Max!”

I probably should have thought up some comforting drivel for her. It was in my own best interests. But I liked Melamori so much I couldn’t lie, and I didn’t want to try to wriggle out of the situation.

“I really don’t know!” I insisted. “I was always sure that you’d have to look far and wide to find a more normal person than myself, however strange that may sound. But don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes, Melamori! You’re not such a coward, as far as I can judge.”

“No, I’m no coward, but . . . I grew up among special and unusual people, Max. My father was appointed to the throne during the Troubled Times, in the event of the deaths of both Gurigs. My aunt and uncle are from the Order of the Seven-Leaf Clover, and my mother’s side of the family is descended from an ancient royal dynasty. You can imagine what it was like for me when I was growing up. And I’m used to being ‘special’ myself. The ‘most important,’ even. I grew up thinking I knew everything, understood everything, and could make anyone do my bidding. Well, nearly everyone. I’ve had to reconcile myself to the idea that Sir Juffin Hully is beyond my comprehension, insofar as I know the history of the Troubled Times not from books, but from witnesses. He’ll tell you, too, if he hasn’t already. But I want to love a person who—”

“Who will do your bidding?” I asked, suddenly realizing what she was trying to say.

“Yes, most likely. Moreover, that’s how I was raised. If I don’t understand something, it frightens me. This is what the Order of the Seven-Leaf Clover stands for, if you’d like to know—circumspection and comprehension, precisely in that order! So since I know quite a bit, and can explain things to myself somehow, I’m usually no coward. But as soon as I look at you, Max, I just fall apart!”

“Then there’s only one way out for you,” I said with a wink. “Get to know me better. Throw caution to the winds and find out who I am. You’ll discover that I’m a terrible bore, and then everything will be fine. Hurry up, though. By the next full moon I’ll completely lose my human form.”

I couldn’t help feeling amused. I’ve had all kinds of problems with girls, but never this kind. It was usually other things they disapproved of. I had believed quite optimistically that putting Lady Melamori’s inchoate fears to rest would be a piece of cake. She’d get a closer look at me and realize that fear was the last thing she should feel around me. I’m not very convincing as some “beast flying on the wings of darkness.”

The evening ended with us indecorously sharing another bottle of the Order’s exclusive wine in Melamori’s living room. True, we weren’t alone. There were also eight (imagine!) of Melamori’s girlfriends keeping us company. The young ladies were all very pretty, and they chattered so incessantly it made me dizzy.

Melamori seriously overindulged in strong beverages, so when I was taking my leave I received a passionate kiss from her. Almost genuine. I was so taken aback that I decided just to be happy with what I had—come what may!

All the rest of the night I wandered through Echo, frightening the solitary passersby with my Mantle of Death. My mind was on fire with wild premonitions. Some atavistic instinct demanded immediate and desperate action. But my good upbringing prevailed, and in the end I did not scale the wall and crawl through Lady Melamori’s bedroom window.

I couldn’t fall asleep, either, even by midday. After tossing and turning under the covers for a few hours, I dispensed with my daily schedule and set out for the House by the Bridge, arriving much earlier than I was expected.

“You couldn’t sleep, Sir Max?”

I very rarely had the occasion to see my boss in a bad mood, but I couldn’t remember ever having seen him as happy as he was today.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Did Boboota Box die after all?”

“Don’t be silly, Max. He’s all right. He’s going to invite you and Melifaro over to visit him as soon as he can get out of bed. So prepare yourself! It’s hard to be General Boboota Box’s rescuer. I suspect the gratitude of this wonderful man will be much more tormenting than his rage. Be that as it may . . . Do you remember Chakatta Pie?”

“And how! Did you really manage to get another piece?”

“Look at things from a broader perspective! Even Chakatta Pie will be available to any Tom, Dick, and Harry in town. And us, too!”

“What do you mean by that?” I prodded cautiously. “Do you plan to rewrite the Code of Krember?”

“I always knew you had exceptional intuition. You guessed it! Not rewrite it completely, but . . . we’ll just make a small amendment. One neat and proper little change. Everything’s ready to go; we just need the official sanction of Grand Magician Nuflin. That’s why we’re going to see him. And when I say ‘we,’ I mean both you and me. Actually, three of us are going. Kofa is invited, too.”

“Juffin,” I stammered, almost losing the power of speech altogether. “Why would you need me there? I’m flattered, naturally. But are you sure that I’m someone you want tagging along with you to the Residence of the Seven-Leaf Clover? What about the color of my eyes? You don’t think they’ll clap you in Xolomi for consorting with an otherworldling? Lady Melamori would probably approve of such a harsh measure.”

“Oh, she unburdened herself to you already? Silly girl. Well, unlike her, Nuflin is a serious chap. He’s lived an exceedingly long life. He understands True Magic and all the rest. At the dawn of the Troubled Times his emissaries fell at my feet. By the way, it was because he was well-informed . Without people like me and Sir Maba, the Order of the Watery Crow—”

“The ‘Watery Crow’?” I asked, and burst out laughing.