Макс Фрай - The Stranger

“It won’t bother me,” I said, rearranging the chairs into the pitiful likeness of a bed.

“It’s beginning to dawn on me,” Melifaro mused. “You’ve done away with our unfortunate chief, and now—”

“If you don’t let me get some sleep, I’ll do away with you,” I mumbled, already feeling the sweet tug of slumber. “I’ve changed my mind. Wake me up in two and a half hours, not two. In fact, make it three. And tell Urf to feed my cats. I just promised them yesterday that life was getting back to normal.”

“All right, go to sleep. I’ll take care of everything. Otherwise you might start spitting,” said Melifaro, and he disappeared out the door.

It seemed I had closed my eyes for no more than a minute. When I opened them again, Melifaro was there, looking down at me.

“Well, what now?” I said.

“What do you mean ‘what now’? You asked me to wake you up. Come on, upsy-daisy, Mr. Bad Dream. It’s time for me to go to the Main Archive. Besides, I’ve got some news for you.”

“A hole in the heavens above this World!” With a groan I tore my head away from the spot where normal people usually have a pillow. “It’s already been three hours? How unfair!”

“Three and a half,” said Melifaro, handing me a mug of hot kamra. “Juffin hides the Elixir of Kaxar in the lower left drawer of the desk. He made the bottle invisible, but you’ll find it if you fish around for it.”

“I know how to find it without your prompting,” I growled. I tore into Juffin’s desk drawer with the express goal of appropriating his personal property. A few seconds later, I was chomping at the bit to move a mountain or two.

“Now I can at least stand being around you,” Melifaro said approvingly. “Have you known about this hiding place a long time?”

“Since my first day on the job. After the scandalous adventure of the Soup of Repose, our chief realized that Elixir of Kaxar provided me with my only chance to wallow in vice. So, what’s the news?”

“First, our department: Melamori couldn’t find any traces of intruders or strangers. Except yours, of course. As you predicted. Master Mouthful-Earful hasn’t reported back yet. On the other hand, the City Police have a piece of news that makes everything else pale by comparison. Boboota has disappeared.”

“What?!” I spluttered, spewing kamra everywhere. “Are you serious?”

“Never been more so. He left for his meal right after the Royal Showering of Gifts. Since then, no one has seen him. His subordinates figured that the General had gone home, and were too happy to entertain any doubts. His servants at home thought Boboota was on duty. I think they were quite happy with the situation, as well. This morning, his wife finally decided to send a call to her beloved Boboota.”

“And?”

“Very strange, Max. He’s alive—Lady Box is sure of that. He’s alive, but he doesn’t respond to any calls, as though he is sleeping very soundly.”

“And Melamori? Has she been looking for him?”

“She’s still looking.”

“How’s that? I thought she worked fast.”

“That’s just it. In the Chancellery of Encouragement there’s not a trace of Boboota.”

“That’s impossible. Yesterday at noon he was stomping around over there.”

“That’s right, stomping around. Life, you know, is a complicated matter. It’s only in your homeland where everything is simple and straightforward: either there is horse dung, or there isn’t.”

I made a frightening grimace. Quick as lightning Melifaro hid under the desk, where he continued his story in the trembling voice of a scared little boy.

“Not in the Chancellory, not on the stairway, not by the entrance. There isn’t a trace of Boboota anywhere! Rather, the traces are everywhere, but they’re very old. Twelve days at least. They don’t count. Mr. Vampire, you’re not mad anymore, are you?”

Instead of answering, I laughed like a maniac, not so much at Melifaro’s antics as at the news. And what news!

“The entire City Police Force is looking for Boboota.” Melifaro went on. “If they don’t find him by sunset, they’ll hand over the official case to us.”

“Does Juffin know?”

“He certainly does.”

“Is he happy?”

“You bet he is. He’ll arrive here at sundown to start the investigation. Maybe he had a hand in the disappearance himself?”

“I wouldn’t be at all surprised,” I smiled. “Are you planning to stay under the desk until he gets here? What about the Main Archive?”

“You promise you won’t spit?”

“I might. The only thing that will save you is sheltering under the wing of a buriwok.”

“Fair enough.” Melifaro dashed out from under the desk, finished his kamra in a gulp, and disappeared into the corridor, waving goodbye.

Then I was alone. I sent a call to Tanita.

I’ll come in a quarter of an hour, Sir Max , she replied. You know, the advice you gave me—well, everything was just as you said. I didn’t lose my mind. I even slept for a few hours. Thank you.

I ordered the junior staff to straighten up the office, and then sent a call to the Glutton . If I had to turn poor Lady Tanita inside out for information, let her at least eat something. It was unlikely that anyone but me would be able to persuade her to take some breakfast. I wasn’t even certain I’d be able to, but I’d have to try.

Lady Tanita Kovareka arrived within fifteen minutes, as promised. She had managed to change her clothes, and she looked the picture of elegance. Here in Echo, they don’t have the custom of dressing in mourning. It is thought that each person’s pain is a private matter, and broadcasting your loss to passersby on the street is uncouth.

“Good day, Sir Max,” she greeted me, not without a trace of sarcasm. She had the courage to acknowledge the bitter irony of the traditional form of greeting. Lady Tanita rose even higher in my estimation.

“You know why I called you. I have to find out what your husband had been doing, especially in the recent past. I know it’s painful to talk about, but—”

“I completely understand, Sir Max. Things like that don’t just happen out of the blue. Of course you have to find out who . . . But I’m afraid I won’t be of any help here.”

“I know what you’re trying to say. There was none of that . It always seems that nothing was amiss until a misfortune befalls someone. Then it becomes clear that a few completely insignificant actions were the first steps along the path to calamity.”

I had devoured enough detective novels in my time to be able to resort to this commonplace. I just hoped that the authors of the books knew a bit about life.

“All right, Sir Max. I can still only tell you one thing, though. Our life was passing just as usual—”

“Right, Lady Tanita. But you understand—I’m an outsider. I don’t know how your life usually passes. So explain it in a bit more detail.”

“Of course. Every day Karry got up before daybreak and went to the market. We have plenty of servants, but he preferred to select all the meat and produce himself. Karry is—was—a very good cook. For him this was not just a way of making a living, but something more—an art—a matter of honor and love, you might say. When I woke up, he was almost always at the helm in the kitchen. We opened two hours before midday, sometimes earlier, if there were customers who requested it. Beginning in the morning, one of the servants was on duty at the bar, so Karry and I had time to do other things if we wished, or even rest a while. Toward evening Karry went into the kitchen to prepare one or two specialties of the house. Our employees took care of the rest. I stood behind the bar, but sometimes Karry let me go out for a walk. He adored serving the visitors and hearing their compliments. He usually went to bed before midnight, as he was used to getting up early. I stayed on at the restaurant. Not alone, of course—there were servants with me, as well. Right after midnight, I would retire upstairs. We have a young fellow by the name of Kumaroxi who is always happy to work nights, on the condition that we let him sleep during the day.”