Макс Фрай - The Stranger

“That’s not Melamori talking! Or, rather, it’s Melamori, but she doesn’t know what she’s saying. He’s ‘caught’ her, too, Juffin! Melamori sniffed out Xropper, but he . . . well, he caught hold of his end of the trail she was following, when he realized what was going on. I don’t know how else to put it. The fellow thinks that he’s only being followed by one person, and he’s in a hurry to do battle. It’s a wonder she even waited for us at all.”

Sir Juffin squeezed my shoulder hard.

“That’s exactly right, only I—very well. Is that clear, Melamori? Are you going to let the Magician of some paltry third-rate Order make your decisions for you? Now get yourself over here, on the double!”

Melamori stared at us in astonishment and shook her head.

“I can’t, sir . . . I really can’t. And I’m sure we have to go into that house before he gets away. Vampires under your blankets, though, you’re right! These aren’t really my thoughts. And I didn’t want to wait for you. If you had come just a minute later . . .”

Meanwhile, Lonli-Lokli had managed to get out of the amobiler and pick up Melamori, lifting her high in the air without any visible effort.

“There we go! Do you feel better now, lady?” he asked, seating the bewildered Melamori on his shoulders. “Why don’t we study the aforementioned phenomenon a bit later, gentlemen?” suggested this remarkable individual in his most imperturbable manner.

We exchanged glances.

“Indeed, why not?” Juffin asked, and Melifaro and I peeled our backsides from the seat of the amobiler in seconds flat. The chief was right behind us.

“Well, do you agree to wait for us in the amobiler, girl?”

“Right now I’ll agree to anything.” Melamori clutched at Lonli-Lokli’s neck like a monkey. “I’m terrified of heights! But maybe you’d let me go in with you, after all? I’ll stay in the back, honest! I don’t want to have to sit in the amobiler.”

“All right, I suppose you may come. Only put your shoes on. You won’t have to do any more tracking for the time being, and you’re bound to cut yourself on a shard of glass,” Juffin said. “Do you know whose house this is? This is where old Sir Gartom Xattel Min lives. About a hundred years ago, terrible stories went the rounds about the disorderliness of his home, until everyone finally grew bored with the topic. Sir Shurf, let the lady down. Then grab Max and get a move on! The three of us will follow you.”

Sir Shurf looked me up and down, and then picked me up with the gallantry of a professional stevedore.

“Shurf, I can walk!” I shouted. “Juffin didn’t mean it like that.”

“Is that true, Sir Juffin?” Lonli-Lokli asked politely.

“What? Oh, Sinning Magicians! You’re driving me out of my wits, boys! Of course I only meant for you to go in together. What kind of an outfit is this? Secret Investigative Force, terror of the universe, my foot! It’s a circus, that’s what it is!”

Lonli-Lokli and I finally entered the yard, and then the dark, dank-smelling hall of the enormous deserted building.

“How are we going to find this fellow, Shurf?” I asked in panic. “This house is as big as a town!”

“Yes, the house is rather sizable,” Lonli-Lokli agreed. “Don’t worry, Max. At this distance, even I’m able to pick up his scent. I have quite a bit of experience in this area: before Lady Melamori joined our force, we had to get along without a Master of Pursuit. It’s a very rare talent, and finding the right person for the job is difficult. Our previous Master of Pursuit, Sir Totoxatta Shlomm, met his end in a situation very much like this one. Only his adversary was much more formidable—he had acquired a glove like my own.”

I gave a low whistle.

“Sir Totoxatta was an unimpeachable Master of Pursuit, though not one distinguished by his caution. You know Max, it’s still very painful for me. We began working in the Secret Investigative Force on the same day, and we became fast friends—go left and sidestep this shard of glass, no boot could withstand a specimen like that— that’s why I warned Lady Melamori that all the Orders, even those that are not too powerful, have their dangerous little secrets. She was in serious danger. Get back! Quick!”

Lonli-Lokli’s white looxi flitted through the darkness like an eccentric ghost. His shining right hand, which brought not death, but petrifaction, illuminated a frightened elderly face for one split second. Then everything went dark again.

I inched closer and found myself staring at a wrinkled, swarthy old man in a tattered looxi. His body lay immobile on the floor in an unnatural pose. His hands were raised above his head, and his legs were bent at the knee. It could have been the pose of a toppled statue, but not of a living being, conscious or otherwise.

“Is this the Grand Magician?”

Lonli-Lokli shook his head.

“No, Max. This is the master of the house, Sir Gartom Xattel Min. See, he’s wearing the same kind of belt as the others. That was very shrewd of Xropper to have a complete stranger lie in ambush. When a Master of Pursuit is close to her prey, she has no awareness of anything else: that’s how they are. That’s why he wanted Lady Melamori to enter alone. I consider that to be justified only when tracking down simple civilians, but even then it’s undesirable to my mind.”

“But what could this old man have done to her?” I asked, confused. “Surely he’s no great warrior.”

“Never judge too hastily, my friend. Once a person has learned to shoot from the Slingshot of Babum, he never loses the skill. And a shot to the head is capable of killing anyone, even the Master of Pursuit. Do you see what he has in his hands?”

My head was spinning. Melamori could have died by some primitive slingshot in the junky recesses of a dank old corridor—this was too much! Never mind my ill-used broken heart. Let her do what she wishes. Let her even get married, like countless other old girlfriends of mine; but let her stay alive! I don’t really know whether a good friendship has advantages over a flaming passion, as Juffin claims it does, but it has a decided advantage over death!

“Let’s hurry and get out of here, Shurf,” I said hoarsely. “We’ll get rid of this Xropper character, and then scram.”

Lonli-Lokli had no objections, and we went on our way, wandering through littered corridors and steep staircases until we found ourselves in a basement room.

“Stay behind me, Max,” Lonli-Lokli said in a tone that brooked no argument. “Today hasn’t been the most uneventful day, and there may be more excitement in store. He’s somewhere nearby, so . . .”

The lustrous white shimmer of Lonli-Lokli’s death-dealing hands began cutting intricate designs in the darkness.

“What are you doing, Shurf?”

“It’s better to force your victim out than to seek him yourself. Do you really think that killing is my only accomplishment, Max? My profession requires a much wider spectrum of skills.” He paused and squinted into the darkness. “See? There he is. This spell is foolproof—with people, that is. Yowzer shazam, bim bam!”

His final exclamation was accompanied by a bright explosion, and I realized that Sir Xropper Moa, the Grand Magician of the Order of the Barking Fish, had left the world of the living. At that moment, his name assumed an honorable place on the list of the latest accomplishments of the Secret Investigative Force.

“There you have it,” Lonli-Lokli said, pulling on his gloves. “Finishing a case is always easier than starting it. Have you ever thought about that, Max?”

“No, but I promise I will.”

“As always, Sir Shurf has been equal to the task!” Juffin’s voice rang out from behind us. “I apologize, but we were detained, boys. I used the opportunity to lecture Lady Melamori over the body of the slovenly old codger.”