Hugh Cook - The Walrus and the Warwolf

Freedom delighted him. In the brightness of sun and sea, the horrors of helpless imprisonment and dreadful torture lost their grip on his imagination. He began to feel quite his old self again.

On the voyage between 'Marphos and Runcorn (a city still held by Elkor Alish), Drake had some strange meetings with faces from the past.

He met up once again with Forester, a strangely naive fellow whom he'd first met on the attempted voyage to Ork which had ended in sea-wreck disaster. He also renewed his acquaintance with Bluewater Draven, sometime commander of the Tusk, whom he had last seen on Chag-jalak in the North Strait, when pirates escaping from Collosnon captors had taken to the sea in separate boats.

Drake and Bluewater Draven had some wild fun with Forester, making him believe the most unbelievable stories about their exploits. They had success with outright lies which they would never have had with the truth, for the truth (about flying islands and such) was scarce believable except to those who had lived through it.

Drake had some anxieties about landing at Runcorn, where he had once ruled as Arabin lol Arabin, head of his own temple and master of City Hall. But he found, to his relief, that most of the original population had been killed, exiled or sold into slavery.

The city was on short commons. Under the ruthless rule of Elkor Alish, everyone was rationed to a single mug of beer a day, plus a little rice and vivda. Drake could see the sense in that, but, without any shame whatsoever, was soon heavily involved in black market bartering, and profiting greatly from his activities.

He soon found a groggery which suited him, a thievish den which took no heed of rationing, and he was there one morning drinking koumiss and dining on macedoine, when he was hailed by a familiar voice:'Drake!'

It was Jon Arabin. Drake, leaping to his feet, spilt both food and drink together.'Jon!' he cried. 'Jon, is it really you?''Who else would it be, man?' said the Warwolf.'But you're – you're dead!'

'Aye, dead and resurrected,' said Jon Arabin. 'But none the.worse for it.'

The next moment they were in each other's arms, slapping each other on the back, both laughing yet near to tears.'Do I get a cuddle?' said a voice.It was Slagger Mulps, the Walrus himself.

'No cuddles, unless you can pay for them,' said Drake. 'But – have a bowl of kale, man, and a mug of ale. Bar! Serve up for my friends!'

Soon all three were seated at table deep in food, drink and conversation. Great stuff! Old comrades true together. It made the place feel almost like home . . .'How did you get away from Selzirk?' asked Drake.'Ah,' said Jon Arabin. 'Thereby hangs a tale.'

And, with some help from the Walrus, Arabin told a fabulous tale about how they had variously bribed, deceived and outwitted their gaolers, killed guards, escaped to an underground tunnel, footed it for fifty leagues in utter darkness, fought with a giant worm, exited from the tunnel into a cave deep in the Spine Mountains, purchased a flying carpet from an old wizard, then navigated to Runcorn by air.

Drake only half-believed this tale, but doubted there was any chance of getting the truth out of them.

Actually, both Walrus and Warwolf – along with everyone else in every dungeon in Selzirk – had been released and pardoned as part of the victory celebrations which followed the liberation of Androlmarphos. But, honour being what it is, they would never confess to such charitable treatment.

'Now let's hear you talk,' said the Walrus. 'And let's talk frank, as we couldn't talk in Selzirk.'

'What's there to be frank about?' said Drake. 'But for your bad breath, your rotten teeth and the boil in the middle of your forehead.'

The Walrus, still weak from the terrors of imprisonment, took this hard. But he could not show how Drake's rough words hurt him – for he knew a pirate was not supposed to be so sensitive. Still, while he could not complain directly, there was another way in which he could strike back.'Let's talk of Penvash, to start with,' said Mulps.

He would punish Drake a bit. Make him sweat over the matter of a stolen tinder box.

'Penvash?' said Drake. 'What about it? We killed some green-eyed dogs up there, aye. Is that what you're on about? I suppose they were your relations and all!'

Slagger Mulps, who had endured many a joke about his green eyes in years gone by, took this one hard.

'You ran off,' said Mulps, a touch of open anger in his voice. 'Ran, aye. Left us in hardship for days.'

'Hardship?' said Drake. 'I thought you green-haired animals were bred for the cold.'

'Aagh!' said the Walrus. He spat, discreetly, into a bloodstained handkerchief. Then said: 'So where did you bugger off to after you stole our tinder box?'

'Man, I did no stealing,' said Drake. T was hot after

Yot with the others when there was a bear or something, I don't know. A monster, maybe.''What kind of monster?' said Jon Arabin.

'Man, I know not,' said Drake, 'but I woke a long way later leagues and leagues from anywhere with a bloody head and bruises from gills to arsehole.''From mating with this bear, perhaps,' said Mulps.

'Gah!' said Drake, 'you'd be expert on buggering bears and such!'

He spoke freely, to show his friendship. For friends slanged off at each other with no holds barred – that was part and parcel of friendship. Thus Drake, who these days thought better of the Walrus than he had once, spoke to him as freely as he used to speak with Pigot Quebec and other criminal friends in Selzirk of the thousand sewers.

This last sally of Drake's brought Mulps close to tears – but again the Walrus concealed his hurt, and, after coughing a little more tubercular blood into a handkerchief, demanded:'And the girl?'

'Girl?' said Drake, looking round the groggery. 'There's one in the corner there, she's got but one ear yet the rest looks staunch enough. Would she be any good to you?'

'Don't play the fool with me, or I'll nubble you,' said Mulps, though he was so weakened by prison that he was scarce fit to fight a mouse.'Nubble away then!' said Drake, boldly.

He thought the Walrus spoke his anger by way of a joke. And, in any case – an angry Walrus without Ish Ulpin and others to back him up was no danger at all to Drake Douay if it came to a matter of swords.

'I'd rather kill beer than a comrade,' said Jon Arabin, mildly.

Drake, seeing both Walrus and Warwolf had finished their ales, summoned up more from the bar. For a while, all ate and drank in silence. Then Mulps spoke again:

'So what did happen to the Ebrell bitch? It's the one in

Penvash I'm talking of. What came of her?'

'Why, as I say, I don't know,' said Drake, 'for a monster attacked me. Likely the monster or whatever it was got eating her. She died somehow, anyway.'

'Then why,' said the Walrus, 'why does rumour say you came to Runcorn with her? With her and a fortune in jasp and jade, which let you buy up half the city before you were finished?'

'Man,' said Drake, spreading his hands, 'what I own is these hands. That's honest.'

'But you had wealth once,' persisted the Walrus. 'It didn't just vanish, did it?'

T were never rich,' said Drake. 'As for buried treasure or such, if that's what you're looking for – you'll get none from me. Would I mix with the scum in a dive like this if I had the wealth to live better?'

'Aye, you would,' said Mulps, 'for it's your style, and you know no better. But I-'

'Leave it, man,' said Jon Arabin. 'He's telling the truth. He has no treasure.'

'And even if I did,' said Drake, 'I'd want human beings to share it with – not a gangling thing with grass on its chin and thumbs built double on its fists.'Mulps rose to his feet in anger.

'Down, man!' said Arabin. 'Are we not friends together?'