Jeff Inlo - Nightmare's Shad

"But I was. What happened when the sphere was gone? The anger remained in me. I took it out on everyone and everything."

"Who can blame you? The land was changing with the magic."

"You are now defending me? You used to argue with me about my choices. You were right. I was wrong. Why are you looking at it differently now?"

Ryson looked back over his shoulder toward the badlands. Hashing out old memories wasn't getting him anywhere. He didn't want to waste time with this debate. He knew Linda was trapped somewhere out there. He wanted to get there, badly, but he needed to save her as well. Unfortunately, he was dealing with something beyond his understanding-consciousness separated from the body. All of his skills as a delver wouldn't help him resolve that struggle. He hung on to one hope… that Lief could guide him to the answer he needed, and so he answered the elf's question.

"Because I'm tired of arguing. I'm tired of struggling with everything. You were right to be angry. People let you down. Your own camp let you down. You looked at the land and saw what was happening. I'm seeing it now. The magic didn't make things easier, it made things worse."

"That is in perspective."

Ryson couldn't accept that, not at that point. Everything had fallen apart and there was no other way to look at it.

"You want perspective? Baannat has taken control of just about every dark creature. Linda is trapped somewhere with him. So is Enin. You want to tell me what good has come from any of this?"

"Individuals made choices. Some made very unselfish choices. You risked your life to help the algors. Cliff behemoths risked their lives to protect Linda."

"And they failed!"

"Did they? How so? They sacrificed much to fight off the caelifera. Linda might have been taken, but are you so willing to dismiss the cliff behemoth's intentions?"

"What are good intentions worth?"

"Everything. Far more than you could know."

"And that's what you want me to believe?"

"That's part of it, but let us to return to your anger. I've tried to explain that I was wrong. Do you understand that?"

"I don't understand anything. Right now, I think you had every right to be upset. Maybe if I listened to you, helped you kill some of these dark creatures, then none of this would have ever happened."

"No! As I said, I was wrong, and now you are in danger of going down the same path as I did. You tried to stop me, now I want to stop you."

"You want to stop me? I'm not the problem. You're a spirit. You're dead. Go talk to whoever's in charge on that side. Tell them enough is enough already. What do they want from me? Every time I turn around there's another problem, another catastrophe. Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not right."

"Would you like to become the judge with final say on what is right and wrong?"

"That's not what I mean. Come on, Lief, don't you think I've been through enough?"

"And who decides what is enough? You?"

Ryson fumed. They were getting nowhere. He almost turned his back on the elf and ran off toward the badlands. That, however, meant giving up, and for Linda, he held himself for one last question.

"Why are you really here?"

Lief answered without hesitation.

"Redemption. Not to earn it, but to understand it. There is a difference, I'm beginning to see that now. You can not find redemption by fighting new battles, Enin tried to retrieve it for all the spell casters, the dwarves for themselves. They wanted to fight a dark foe to make up for past mistakes, past sins. But that's more like revenge than redemption. It doesn't work that way. You have to accept the blame and hope to be forgiven. You can't just wipe away a sin at your own will. There's no scale that will allow you to ignore the mistakes by piling acts of perceived benevolence against them."

"And that's why you're here? To find redemption?"

"I hope to, but as I have said, redemption isn't simply earned by our actions and our deeds. We reach it through our beliefs as well, through what is truly in our hearts. I now believe I returned here to learn that lesson. I have seen it as I watched the entirety of this conflict, this struggle."

Lief appeared to grow brighter. His form took on greater definition. He remained an ethereal spirit, but he almost appeared as full flesh and blood.

"You believed in me and now I wish to believe in even more," the elf spirit acknowledged. "I also wish to help you, but I realize that in itself won't bring me what I seek. I believe I have already discovered that. Now, I only have to close the book."

That sounded like an ending, and Ryson was not ready for that.

"Before you close anything, help me reach Linda."

"I will, but you must do your part. Look beyond the struggle. Look inside. There is meaning to almost everything that happens, but you have to believe. That's what I meant when I said you had to believe. Can you accept that?"

"I'll accept anything if it can save her."

"I suppose that will have to do. Let me first tell you about where Baannat is and where he is keeping Linda and Enin. Baannat found a way to cheat death… and life. He's not in the veil between life and death. He has bypassed both completely. In doing so, he's created a completely new existence.

"The followers of Godson believe in the immortality of the soul, but that exists in the spirit world. Life has always been fleeting. It ends for us all. Life, death, and a transition from one to the other leading to immortality; that is the way. Baannat, however, has used the magic and the bizarre circumstances of his death to create immortality while still clinging to life. That has led to consequences in both the spirit world and the physical plane of existence. Life, death, and the veil between remain intact, but an entirely new form of existence-or perhaps non-existence-has emerged. That is where he has trapped Linda and Enin's consciousness."

Ryson accepted the explanation. He had no way, and no desire, to question it. He only cared about one thing.

"You said I can get there. How?"

"Enin created a shadow portal that is still in existence. It is in the dark realm near the cave where you encountered Baannat when he disguised himself to appear as me. You can go through that portal and you will join Enin and Linda."

So, he could get in. That was half the battle, but he wanted more.

"How do I get out? How do I get Linda and Enin out and back in their bodies?"

Lief did not answer, and this shook the delver's confidence. He spoke a chilling truth.

"That's the problem, isn't it?" Ryson asked.

"If you make it one."

"I'm not trying to make it anything, but if Enin can't get out, how can I? How can I get all of us out?"

"By believing."

"Believing in what?"

"That the answer will come to you when you need it most."

"I need it now."

"You will need it when you step through the portal."

"That's all you can tell me?"

"That's all I know. I'm not trying to confuse you or limit what I tell you. I have given you all the information I can. I have no secrets, but I can tell you this; their souls do not deserve that fate, and so, if you believe that there are other forces at work that understand that, then you can save them. You can be the tool to bring them to freedom, but you must let it occur as it is meant to be, not as you want it to be."

"Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"Just goodbye and good luck."

Ryson did not dwell on the true meaning of those words. He knew there was nothing else to be gained from the elf apparition. He had to save Linda. That was all that drove him.

"Thank you," the delver acknowledged and then sped off to the portal in the badlands.

Lief watched the trail of Ryson Acumen, his friend, fade off into the distance as the delver ran toward the end of his struggle at all possible speed. It was now time for Lief to face his own fate.