Terry Goodkind - Wizard's First Rule

Zedd’s voice was kind and gentle. “Richard, you are too quick to criticize yourself. What is it you say when I ask how you must solve difficult problems?”

Richard knew what Zedd was talking about, but was reluctant to answer, as he felt answering only pulled him in deeper. Zedd lifted an eyebrow, waiting. Richard looked down at the table, picking at the wood with his thumbnail. “Think of the solution, not the problem.”

“And right now you are doing it backwards. You are only concentrating on why the problem is impossible. You are not thinking of the solution.”

Richard knew Zedd was right, but there was more to it. “Zedd, I don’t think I’m qualified to be Seeker. I don’t know anything about the Midlands.”

“Sometimes it is easier to make a decision if you aren’t burdened with a knowledge of history,” the wizard said cryptically.

Richard let out a deep breath. “I don’t know the place. I’d be lost there.”

Kahlan put her hand on his forearm. “No, you wouldn’t. I know the Midlands better than almost anyone. I know where it is safe and where it is not. I’ll be your guide. You will not be lost. I promise you that much.”

Richard looked away from her green eyes and down at the table. It hurt to think that he might disappoint her, but her faith, and Zedd’s, didn’t seem justified. He didn’t know anything about the Midlands, or the magic, or how to find some boxes, or how to stop Darken Rahl. He didn’t know how to do any of it! And for the first trick, he was supposed to get them across the boundary!

“Richard, I know you think I’m thrusting this responsibility on you unwisely, but it is not me who chooses you. You are the one who has shown himself to be the Seeker. I have only recognized the fact. I have been a wizard a long time. You don’t know what that entails, but you have to trust me when I say that I’m qualified to recognize the one.” Zedd reached across the table, across the sword, and put his hand on Richard’s. His eyes were somber. “Darken Rahl hunts you. Personally. The only reason I can fathom for this is that with the insight he has gained from the magic of Orden, he too knows you to be the one and so searches you out, to eliminate the threat.”

Richard blinked in surprise. Maybe Zedd was right. Maybe this was the reason Rahl hunted him. Or maybe not. Zedd didn’t know about the book. He felt as if his mind would explode with all the things filling his head, and suddenly he couldn’t sit anymore. He stood up and began pacing, thinking. Zedd folded his arms across his chest. Kahlan leaned an elbow on the table. Both watched in silence as he paced.

The wisp had said to seek the answer or die. It didn’t say it was necessary to become this Seeker. He could find the answers in his own way, as he always had. He hadn’t needed the sword to figure out who the wizard was, although it hadn’t been that hard.

But what was wrong with taking the sword? What could it hurt to have its help? Wouldn’t it be foolish to turn down any assistance? Apparently the sword could be put to any use its owner wanted, so why not use it in the way he wanted? He didn’t have to become an assassin, or anything else. He could use it to help them, that was all. That was all that was needed, or wanted—no more.

But Richard knew why he didn’t want it. He didn’t like the way it had felt when he had drawn the sword. It had felt good, and that bothered him. It had stirred his anger in a way that frightened him, made him feel like he had never felt before. The most disconcerting thing was that it felt right. He didn’t want to feel right about anger, didn’t want to lose his control of it. Anger was wrong. That’s what his father had taught him. Anger had killed his mother. He kept his anger behind a locked door he didn’t want opened. No, he would do this in his own way, without the sword. He didn’t need it, didn’t need the worry of it.

Richard turned to Zedd, who still sat with his arms folded across his chest, watching. The sunlight gave Zedd’s wrinkles deep shadows. The lines and sharp angles of his familiar face seemed somehow different. He looked grim, resolute—somehow more like a wizard. Their eyes met and held each other. Richard was decided. He would tell his friend no. He would help, and would stand by them. His life, too, depended on this. But he would not be the Seeker. Before he could say so, Zedd spoke.

“Kahlan, tell Richard how Darken Rahl questions people.” His voice was quiet, calm. He didn’t look at her, instead continuing, to hold Richard’s eyes.

Her voice was barely audible. “Zedd, please.”

“Tell him.” This time his voice was harder, more forceful. “Tell him what he does with the curved knife he keeps at his belt.”

Richard looked away from Zedd’s eyes to her pale face. After a moment she held out her hand, and looked up at him with sad, green eyes, beckoning him to come to her. He stood a moment, wary, then came and took her hand. She pulled him down toward her. He sat, straddling the bench, facing her, waiting for what it was she was bidden to say, fearing it.

Kahlan shifted toward him, hooking some hair behind an ear, and looked down at his right hand as she held it in both of hers, stroking the back of it with her thumbs. Her fingers were gentle, soft, and warm against his palm. The size of her hands made his seem awkwardly large. She spoke quietly and didn’t look up.

“Darken Rahl is a practitioner of an ancient form of magic called anthropomancy. He divines the answers to questions by the inspection of living human entrails.”

Richard felt his anger ignite.

“It’s of limited use—he can at most get a yes or no to a single question, and sometimes, a name. Nonetheless, he continues to favor its use. I’m sorry, Richard. Please forgive me for telling you this.”

Memories of his father’s kindness, his laughter, his love, his friendship, their time together with the secret book, and a thousand other brief glimpses tore through him in a flood of anguish. The scenes and sounds converged into dim shadows and hollow echoes in Richard’s mind and melted away. In its pace, memories of the bloodstains on the floor, the white faces of the people there, images of his father’s pain and terror, and the things Chase had told him flashed vividly in snatches through his mind. He didn’t try to stop them, but instead pulled them onward, hungering for them. He washed himself in the detail of it all, felt the twisting torment. Pain flared up from a pit deep inside him. Invoked heedlessly, it came screaming forth. In his mind he added the shadowed figure of Darken Rahl, hands dripping crimson blood, standing over his father’s body, holding the red, glinting blade. He held the vision before him, twisting it, inspecting it, drinking it into his soul. The picture was complete now. He had his answers. He knew how it had been. How his father had died. Until now that was all he had ever sought—answers. In his whole life, he had never gone beyond that simple quest.

In one white-hot instant that changed.

The door that held back his anger, and the wall of reason containing his temper, burned away in a flash of hot desire. A lifetime of rational thinking evaporated before his searing fury. Lucidity became dross in a cauldron of molten need.

Richard reached out to the Sword of Truth, curled his fingers around the scabbard, gripping it tighter and tighter until his knuckles were white. The muscles in his jaw flexed. His breathing came fast and sharp. He saw nothing else of what was around him. The heat of anger surged forth from the sword, not of its own volition, but summoned by the Seeker.

Richard’s chest heaved with the burning hurt of his grief at knowing now what had happened to his father, and with that knowledge there was closure, too. Thoughts he had never permitted himself to have became his only desire. Caution and consequence vanished before a flood of lust for vengeance.