Terry Goodkind - Wizard's First Rule

When this was ended, and Kahlan was safe, and if he lived, he could go home.

Near the middle of his watch, he became suddenly aware again of the thing that followed them. He couldn’t see its eyes, but he could feel them. It was on the hill opposite the camp, watching. He felt a chill run through him, at being watched.

A distant sound made him sit bolt upright. A snarl, a growl, followed by a yelp. Then silence again. Something had died. Richard’s eyes were wide, trying to see, but he saw only blackness. The thing that followed had killed something. Or been killed itself. He felt an odd worry for it. As long as it had followed, it had never tried to hurt them. Of course, that didn’t really mean anything. It could simply be waiting for the right time. For some reason, though, Richard didn’t think it meant them any harm.

He felt the eyes again. Richard smiled—it was still alive. He had the urge to go after it, to find out what it was, but dismissed the idea. This was not the time. This was a creature of the dark. Better to meet it on his own terms.

Once more on his watch, he heard something die. Closer.

Without Richard having to go wake him, Zedd appeared for his watch, looking rested and refreshed, eating a piece of dried meat. Zedd came and sat next to him, offering a piece of meat. Richard declined.

“Zedd, what about Chase, is he all right?”

“He is well. Far as I know, he went off to follow your instructions.”

“Good. I’m glad he’s well.” Richard hopped down off the rock, ready for some sleep.

“Richard, what did Shota tell you?”

Richard studied his friend’s face in the dim light of the moon. “What Shota said to me is private. It is not for others to hear.” The edge to his own voice surprised him. “And that is the way it will remain.”

Zedd took a bite while he watched Richard. “The sword has a lot of anger to it. I see you are having trouble controlling it.”

“All right. All right, I’ll tell you one thing Shota said. She told me she thought I ought to have a talk with you about Samuel!”

“Samuel?”

Richard gritted his teeth and leaned closer. “My predecessor!”

“Oh. That Samuel.”

“Yes, that Samuel. Would you like to explain that to me? Would you like to tell me that’s the way I too will end up? Or had you planned on keeping it from me until I was done doing wizard’s work and you have to give the sword to some other fool!” Zedd watched calmly as Richard became more and more upset. He grabbed Zedd’s robes and pulled his face close. “Wizard’s First Rule! Is that how wizards find someone to take the sword? Just find someone stupid enough not to know better and there you go! A new Seeker! Do you have any other little things you forgot to tell me? Any other little unpleasant things I ought to know!”

Richard released his robes with a shove. He had to resist mightily the urge to draw the sword. His chest heaved with his anger. Zedd watched calmly.

“I’m truly sorry, my boy,” he whispered, “that she has hurt you so.”

Richard stared back, everything that had happened pushing in on him, extinguishing the anger. Everything seemed so hopeless. He burst into tears and fell against Zedd, throwing his arms around him. He cried in choking sobs, unable to control himself.

“Zedd, I just want to go home.”

Zedd held him, patted his back gently, spoke tenderly. “I know, Richard. I know.”

“I wish I had listened to you. But I can’t help myself. I can’t make myself stop feeling this way, no matter how hard I try. I feel like I’m drowning and can’t get any air. I want this nightmare to end. I hate the Midlands. I hate the magic. I just want to go home. Zedd, I want to be rid of this sword and its magic I never want to hear about magic again.”

Zedd held him and let him cry. “Nothing is ever easy.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Kahlan hated me or something, but I know she cares for me too. It’s the magic. The magic keeps us apart.”

“Believe me, Richard, I know how you feel.”

Richard sank to the ground, leaned against the rock, crying. Zedd sat next to him.

“What is to become of me?”

“You will go on. There is nothing else you can do.”

“I don’t want to go on. And what of Samuel? Is that what is to become of me?”

Zedd shook his head. “I’m sorry, Richard. I don’t know. I gave you the sword against my own heart, because I had to, for everyone else. The magic of the Sword of Truth does that to a Seeker, in the end the prophecies say that the one who truly masters the sword’s magic, and in so doing makes the blade turn white, will be protected from that fate. But I don’t know how it’s to be done. I don’t even know what it means. I didn’t have the courage to tell you. I’m sorry. If you want, you may strike me dead for what I’ve done to you. Only, promise me first that you will go on and stop Darken Rahl.”

Richard laughed bitterly through the tears. “Strike you dead. That’s a joke. You’re all I have, all I’m allowed to love. How could I kill that? It’s myself I should kill.”

“Don’t say such a thing,” Zedd whispered. “Richard, I know how you feel about the magic. I walked away from it too. Sometimes events happen that you have to deal with. You are all I have left. I went after the book because I didn’t want you to be in danger. I would do anything to spare you hurt. But I cannot spare you this. We must stop Darken Rahl, not just for ourselves, but for all the others who have no chance.”

Richard scrubbed his eyes. “I know. I won’t quit until it’s finished. I promise. Then maybe I can give up the sword, before it’s too late for me.”

“Go and get some sleep. Each day will get a little better for you. If it’s any consolation, although I don’t know why Seekers end up like Samuel, I truly don’t believe it will happen to you. But if it does, it won’t happen for some time, and therefore, that can only mean you have defeated Darken Rahl, and all the people of the lands will be safe. Know that if it happens I will always take care of you. If we can stop Rahl, maybe I can help you find the secret to turning the blade white.”

Richard nodded and rose to his feet, pulling his cloak around himself. “Thank you, my friend. Sorry I’ve been so hard on you tonight. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Maybe the good spirits have deserted me. I’m sorry I can’t tell you what Shota said.

“And Zedd, be careful tonight. There’s something out there. It’s been following us for days. I don’t know what it is, I haven’t had the time to snap a circle on it. But I don’t think it means us harm, at least it hasn’t so far, but you never know in the Midlands.”

“I will be careful.”

Richard started to walk away. Zedd called his name. He stopped and turned.

“Just be glad she cares for you as much as she does. If she didn’t, she might have touched you.”

Richard stared back at him a long moment. “I’m afraid, in a way, she already has.”

Kahlan picked her way along in the dark among the rocks and trees, and found Zedd sitting on a rock, watching her come, his legs crossed under him.

“I would have come and woke you when it was time,” he said.

She went and sat next to him, hugging her cloak around herself. “I know, but I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would come and sit with you.”

“Did you bring anything to eat?”

She reached in her cloak, pulling out a small bundle. “Here.” She smiled. “Some rabbit and biscuits.”

While Zedd rubbed his hands together and started right in, she watched out into the night, thinking how to put the question she had come to ask him. It didn’t take him long to finish the snack.