Sara Larson - Defy

Damian spun to face Rylan in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“You told me to trust you,” I accused, pulling his attention back to me. “How am I supposed to do that when you keep lying to me? When you keep secrets from me? And you didn’t answer my question. What ties do you have to Blevon?”

“I thought that was fairly common knowledge,” he said tersely. “Excuse me for not answering right away. My mother was from Blevon. She was King Osgand’s niece. My father thinks that I might not be entirely loyal to Antion because I was so attached to her.”

“Wasn’t she murdered by a sorcerer from Blevon?” Rylan asked.

“No. That is the rumor my father started to justify his declaration of war, and to make our people hate sorcerers and all magic.”

“Then what happened to her?” I pressed, even though I could tell he was upset.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Rylan jumped to his feet now, too. “Why won’t you just answer her questions? Can’t you see how much you’re hurting her?”

“You think I want to hurt her? Do you think it makes me happy to see the little bit of trust she had in me die today?” Damian’s eyes flashed as he turned on Rylan, his hands clenched into fists.

“Then just tell her the truth. Hasn’t she done enough to prove herself to you?”

“Rylan —” I tried to break in.

“She doesn’t need to prove anything to me.” Damian’s voice was harsh.

“Then why won’t you answer her? Do you care about her at all? Or are you just using her in every way possible, until she’s served her purpose and you can cast her aside?”

“Don’t forget who you are speaking to, guard ,” Damian warned Rylan, his voice cold with barely contained fury.

My heart jumped around in my chest like a frightened rabbit. What did Rylan think he was doing?

“Are you threatening me? What are you going to do? Have me hanged? Run me through with a sword? Go right ahead, Your Royal Highness ,” Rylan sneered back, spreading his arms out wide, as if waiting for the prince to shove a sword through him then and there. I was suddenly very glad we hadn’t been given any weapons.

“I’m standing right here,” I tried to cut in again, but it was as if they couldn’t hear me.

“Of course I’m not going to have you killed. I’m the only reason you’re still alive — I’m the one who convinced Eljin to bring you along.”

Rylan had the decency to look slightly ashamed.

“What do I have to do to prove to you that I care about her? You want me to answer her questions?” Damian turned to face me, his blue eyes fevered. “You want to know what happened to my mother?”

I stared up at him with my heart in my throat, wondering if it would have been better if they’d continued to leave me out of their argument after all. Damian was a thundercloud, ready to burst open at any moment.

“I didn’t answer your question because I didn’t want to talk about it, not because I don’t trust you or care about you.” He glowered down at me. But behind the fierceness of the expression on his face, I could sense a terrible agony. When his eyes finally met mine, the torment I saw there took my breath away. I realized I didn’t want him to answer the question — not like this.

But it was too late.

“You want to know what happened to her? My father murdered her in front of my brother and me to teach us a lesson when I was eight. He poisoned her tea for months to weaken her and then he cut her down in cold blood five feet from me. That’s what happened to my mother.”

An awful silence fell on the room.

“Satisfied now?”

My throat constricted, and my stomach twisted in horror. Rylan stood as if frozen, staring at the prince.

“Damian, I’m … I’m so —”

“Don’t say it,” he cut me off. “You wanted an answer, you got one. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He strode over to the door and pounded on it. “Eljin, you let me out of here right now unless you want my knife in your gut.”

The lock slid back and the door swung open. Eljin seemed about to make a joke, his eyes crinkled at the corners, but when he saw the thunderous look on Damian’s face, his eyes grew serious. “Of course. Come out. There’s no one out here right now.”

And with that, Damian left, slamming the door behind him.

DAMIAN DIDN’T COME back the rest of the night, and Eljin wouldn’t tell me where he’d gone when he brought us dinner.

“But I thought we all had to stay in here to keep up the guise?”

“No one will see him; they assume he is in here.”

“But where is he?” I pressed.

Eljin gave me a piercing look. “You’d better eat your food before it gets cold. You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.”

And then he shut the door in my face.

“Alex, I’m really sorry. I only meant to defend you. I had no idea —”

I held up my hand. “The damage is done. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Rylan nodded miserably, and started to eat. All I wanted to do was force the food down and go to sleep, so I could try and forget this day had ever happened.

But sleep wouldn’t come. Long after I heard the rhythmic breathing indicating Rylan had drifted off, I was still awake, staring at the wall, with tears leaking out of my eyes.

I woke up bleary-eyed and aching all over. I felt almost worse than before I’d gone to sleep. But then I rolled over to see Damian lying on his cot. Relief flooded through me. I don’t know what I’d been afraid of, but seeing him there released a knot of tension I hadn’t even realized was beneath my sternum until it was gone.

He’d shaved before coming back, and the smooth line of his jaw held only a hint of a shadow now. I watched him sleep with a deep ache in my chest. What kind of life had he had? I’d seen my parents killed in front of me. We’d only been spared because we were so young. But to have watched his own father kill his mother in front of him? It was unfathomable.

I stood up silently and moved across the room toward him, the stone floor cold on my toes. I shivered in the brisk air of morning. I still wasn’t used to waking up to a chill.

When I reached the cot Damian was stretched out on, I knelt down. Glancing at Rylan to make sure he was still asleep first, I lifted my hand to Damian’s hair and smoothed it back from his face. It was thick and so soft, I wanted to keep running my fingers through it.

He stirred in his sleep and then he startled awake. He reached up in one quick movement and snatched my arm, his eyes wild. When he saw it was me, his grip relaxed slightly, but his brow furrowed as he looked up into my face, watching me. My hand was still in his hair, his fingers encircling my wrist. The moment drew out, filling the space between us with tension.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered at last.

Our gazes met and locked. I felt myself getting lost in his startlingly blue eyes. In the early morning light, they reminded me of the sky on a clear day. Such a shocking contrast to his dark hair and lashes, his olive skin.

“I’m sorry, as well.” His voice was low, sending a tremor through me. He let go of my arm to reach out and hesitantly stroke the skin of my cheek. “Neither of us has had an easy life, have we?” When I didn’t pull away, he ran his fingers through my hair and then cupped the nape of my neck, his thumb rubbing along the line of my jaw near my ear.

“No, we haven’t,” I breathed. My heart pulsed erratically beneath the cage of my ribs.

“I don’t want to keep secrets from you, Alexa. But I’m the crown prince of Antion, and my kingdom has to come before my own desires.”