C. Cherryh - Rusalka

Where? he wondered—distracted then by a slight rustle as Pyetr delved into his pack and pulled out a little packet of dried fish. Pyetr offered some to him, and he ate and passed the packet to Uulamets.

Uulamets glowered, took a piece and passed the packet back.

Of a sudden the raven swooped and landed, and looked with its one eye at the fish. Sasha surrendered the I; it piece in that packet and it flapped back up into the dark with its prize.

Pyetr frowned at him about that. Or about everything in general. Sasha wanted Pyetr not to be angry at him—

And remembered he had promised not to do that.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, at which Pyetr looked confused as well as mad at him. “Pyetr, I don’t mean to—”

Pyetr still frowned at him, maybe thinking—Pyetr had surely been close to magic long enough to understand—that that fact was more dangerous to them than the ghosts were.

“It’s all right,” Pyetr whispered back, then, with a gentler expression. “It’s all right, boy. Just get some sleep if you can.”

He shook his head. “You,” he said, at which Pyetr looked further put off. Sasha had not wanted that, not wanted above all to treat Pyetr the way Uulamets did. “I can’t,” he whispered, wishing Pyetr would understand him and not feel the way he so evidently did.

Which, unintended, broke his promise again with a dangerously wide magic.

“God,” he said—swearing began to seem scarcely adequate for what was welling up in him, and he could not even remember aunt Ilenka’s face any longer, let alone hear her admonishments. He rested his eyes a moment against his arm. “Pyetr—don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad at me. I’m so tired.”

“Shut up!” Uulamets snapped at them both.

Pyetr reached out and gently squeezed Sasha’s shoulder, after which Pyetr’s hand suddenly fell away from him and he put the other to his forehead as if he had grown faint.

Sasha looked at master Uulamets, who scowled at him and said, “For all our good.”

When he looked back Pyetr had collapsed sidelong, in sound sleep.

TOWARD DAWN master Uulamets began to let his head sink, drowsing by little moments. Sasha, so tired he thought he would never sleep again, reasoned placidly for a moment that it was only natural, old men did that, and Uulamets had pushed himself hard for a man of any age.

But then in his muddled thoughts he began to worry.

“Master Uulamets,” he said, afraid, still.

“Let me sleep,” Uulamets mumbled, so Sasha hugged himself about the ribs and tried to collect what strength and wit he had left, wondering whether he was right to think of arguing with an old man who needed rest, or whether Uulamets knew what he was doing.

The light grew, diminishing the light of the fire, and Eveshka was standing as she had stood tirelessly all night—but she was so, so faint this morning, hardly more visible than spiderweb as the light filtered through the leaves.

He thought fearfully: We’ve got to do something soon. We’ve got to help her. She’s holding on, but she must be getting weaker. And crazier.

He thought that maybe he could give a little of his own strength to her, not drawing from the forest, not letting her in any wise touch Pyetr: he was not sure then that she could stop; he was not sure that even thinking about it was safe, and he wanted master Uulamets to wake, but he was afraid of bad decisions, and nothing happened.

Suddenly then he felt a little weak, felt his heart give a little ^kip as if it had missed a few beats. He glanced toward Eveshka in panic, forbidding her with all the strength he had. “Master Uulamets,” he exclaimed; and quickly shook Pyetr awake, his head spinning, with only the thought that Pyetr was helpless asleep, and that if there was reason left in her at all she would listen to Pyetr—

“She’s in trouble,” he said to Pyetr, and Pyetr, dazed from sudden waking, rubbed his eyes and looked out across the dying fire.

“I don’t see her,” Pyetr said; Sasha looked.

She was gone.

Pyetr scrambled over to Uulamets and shook him violently. “Old man, wake up! Your daughter’s taken off!”

Uulamets stirred, opened his eyes muzzily.

“Eveshka’s missing!” Sasha repeated. “She touched me and she getaway—”

Uulamets swore and started trying to get up, but Pyetr was already gaining his feet.

“She’s leaving,” Pyetr said, and forced his way through the brush, rapidly no more than a gray ness in the dawn.

“Pyetr!” Sasha called after him and, throwing promises to the winds, wished him back with all his might.

Maybe it was dread of Pyetr’s anger that made him falter. He felt it happen, and knowing that, felt his confidence ebb away. “I can’t hold on to him,” he said to Uulamets, intending to follow Pyetr, but Uulamets seized him by the arm, using him for a support getting up.

“Let’s not all be fools,” Uulamets said.

“Bring him back!”

Uulamets was still holding his arm, and jerked him violently as he turned to go. “I said, don’t be a fool, boy, use what you have.”

“It’s not working!”

“Then you’ve less hope rushing off after them, don’t you? And less than that if we go chasing off one at a time. Get the packs and come on. He’ll find her, surer than I can.”

“I know he will!” Sasha intended to break free of Uulamets, but Uulamets opposed him, he felt it going on, and trembled with the yea and nay running through him. “Stop him!”

“I need the book, young fool! You’ve lost track of everything you’ve done, you don’t know where you are, and you want to go running off without supplies and alone. That’s a fine help you are to anyone. Pick these things up, or do you plan to stand here till we lose him?”

“Bring him back!” he shouted at the old man, but Uulamets was busy holding him , he could not break free and the longer they argued the further Pyetr could get, so he bent and grabbed his pack and Pyetr’s by the ropes while Uulamets picked up his and his staff.

Uulamets led off, as quickly as Uulamets could move, ghostlike himself in the faint dawning, while he struggled with two packs, trying to remember what was in which, and trying to decide if he dared leave Pyetr’s behind, because he could not get both of them through the heavy undergrowth. “Don’t wait for me,” he called out to Uulamets, using his shoulder to shove the limbs aside, all the while feeling cold spots thick in the air about him. “I’ll catch up.”

“Wish to find a way, fool!” Uulamets said to him, and left him to divide his attention between the packs, the branches raking at his face and the cold spots that chilled him to the bone.

Stop, he wished Pyetr. Wait. For the god’s sake call for help or something!

His knees were weak from the theft Eveshka had already made from him and he was rapidly falling behind. He could not handle both baskets: he stopped, teeth chattering, ignoring the cold spots that drifted through him, and dug into Pyetr’s basket—took all the food he could stuff in his own pack, took both blankets, and the damned vodka jug that he was afraid to leave loose in the world. Then he slung his pack to his shoulders and pushed on as fast as he could, shielding his face with his arms and never minding the scratches.

“Don’t trust,” ghostly whispers said; and it suddenly occurred to him Uulamets might not want Pyetr’s safety at all if Pyetr’s dying could keep Eveshka in the world.

“Save yourself,” a voice whispered. “It’s too late for anybody else…”

He caught sight of Uulamets for a moment and made his way past a thorn thicket, in among larger trees.