Trudi Canavan - Priestess of the White

Which was why he had been trying to talk to them. Danjin thought it wise not to approach Juran, since the White leader was the one giving away hints of anger at the mention of Auraya. Dyara’s response to his questions had been to find him something to do. Rian just shrugged and said it was not a convenient time to discuss it.

And Mairae? She was avoiding Danjin. For someone whose role was to be approachable when the other White were busy, she was amazingly effective at this.

He looked down at the cage beside him. Even Mischief wasn’t inclined to talk. He’d entered his cage without protest, as if he hoped good behavior would bring back his mistress.

Or had his kidnapping frightened him out of roaming around the camp? Danjin felt a pang of sympathy for the veez. After Auraya had left, Mischief had curled up in Danjin’s lap. He hadn’t slept; he’d huddled there for hours, staring at his surroundings and starting at the slightest noise.

“Can you keep a secret?”

Danjin jumped at the quiet, familiar voice behind him. Recognizing it, he turned to stare at Mairae in surprise. She looked more serious than he had ever seen her appear before.

“Would Dyara have hired me if I could not?” he replied.

She moved to his side and looked down at Mischief.

“It was a bit mean having him taken, but we didn’t have time to think of anything else,” Mairae murmured. She met his eyes. “All I can say is it wasn’t my idea.”

Danjin stared back at her. “Mischief? He was a diversion, wasn’t he? To keep me away from the war council.”

She shrugged non committally. Or my guess is not quite right .

“And Auraya. It was to keep me away from Auraya.”

Her chin dropped slightly in a subtle nod.

Why? He had his suspicions, but he made himself consider other reasons. Either they wanted to conceal something from me, or prevent me from telling Auraya something. If they wanted to conceal something from me there was no need for deception. They only had to ask me to leave the war council. There was no need to have Mischief abducted.

So it is more likely they wanted to prevent me telling Auraya something. Or prevent Auraya reading my mind. Foremost in my mind had been Mairae’s suggestion that Auraya had a lover .

He drew in a deep breath. “So. Is it true? Were my suspicions right?”

Mairae smiled crookedly. “I thought you believed they were just friends?”

“So they weren’t?”

Her smile faded. “No. This you must swear to tell no other.”

“I swear I will not.”

Auraya and Leiard. Why hadn’t I seen it? Did I so badly need to believe her judgment was faultless that I could not see what I didn’t want to see?

Mairae looked away and sighed. “I feel for her. One can’t force the heart to choose wisely. It has a way of choosing for itself. Juran sent him away. It’ll take a while before she forgives Juran, I think.”

“Where is she?”

She turned to regard him. “We don’t know. She refuses to answer our calls. I believe she isn’t far away. She will return when the war begins, if not earlier.”

“Of course,” he agreed. For some reason saying it aloud made him feel better. She would come back. Perhaps only at the last moment, perhaps full of accusations, but she would come back.

Mairae chuckled. “Don’t blame yourself, Danjin Spear. If anyone is to blame for this it is me, not the least for urging you to consider who Auraya might be visiting. I think you have to agree that separating them will be for the best. For her and Northern Ithania.”

He nodded. She was right, yet he couldn’t help feeling a fatherly disappointment in Auraya. Of all the men of the world, she couldn’t have chosen a more inappropriate lover. Leiard, too, should have seen the consequences of their affair and ended it.

His respect for the Dreamweaver had diminished. Apparently even wise heathen healers can be fools in the face of love, he thought wryly.

The servant was now packing the last of Auraya’s tent and belongings onto a tarn. As the man turned to regard them expectantly, Mairae took a step away from Danjin.

“I’m glad we talked about this,” she said. “Take good care of Mischief. We should reach the pass tonight. I’ll see you in the war-council tent.”

He made the sign of the circle, then watched her stride away. When she moved out of sight he picked up Mischief’s cage, told the servants to join the procession and started toward the advisers’ tarn.

Auraya paced.

The grass she was trampling grew on a stony ledge that ran along the steep side of a valley. The valley ran roughly parallel to the one the east–west road followed in order to reach the pass. She imagined explorers of ancient times wasting days following this valley in the hope of crossing the range. They would have been sorely disappointed when they reached the sheer cliffs and difficult terrain at the end. A climber might have managed to cross the mountains from here, but no ordinary traveller and certainly no platten or tarn could have.

She ought to be in the next valley, not here.

Why can’t I bring myself to return? Juran’s not responsible for Leiard’s faithlessness. Even if he was, I can’t punish the whole of Northern Ithania for his actions .

Yet she couldn’t bring herself to rejoin the army. At first it had seemed reasonable and sensible to spend a few hours alone. Her mind was a whirling mess of anger, pain and guilt and she was afraid that if she returned she would either scream her anger at Juran or turn into a tearful mess. She needed to get a grip on herself first.

Those hours had turned into a day, and the day into three. Every time she thought she had regained control of her feelings and started flying toward the pass, she soon found herself reversing direction again. The first time it was seeing the Dreamweavers in the distance that had caused her to veer away; the next it was a caravan of whores. Last night it had been nothing but the thought of facing Juran again. All brought up intense feelings that she was not sure she could keep hidden.

They’ll reach the pass tonight, she thought. I’ll rejoin them then. Perhaps I’ll simply be there when they arrive. Yes, they’ll be too relieved to have reached their destination to pay much attention to me .

She sighed and shook her head. This shouldn’t be happening. It wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for Juran . Perhaps she ought to be grateful to him, as his actions had caused her to see Leiard’s true nature.

It was like looking into the mind of a different person , she thought, shaking her head. I thought I knew him so well. I thought having a mind-reading Gift meant nobody could deceive me. Obviously that isn’t true .

She’d always sensed something mysterious about Leiard. He had hidden depths, she’d told herself. She’d attributed this difference between Leiard’s mind and the mind of ordinary people or other Dreamweavers to the link memories he had. Now she knew that there was more to it. She knew he was capable of hiding a part of himself from her.

Leiard had told her the link memories sometimes manifested as another mind within his own. He had even told her this shadow of Mirar didn’t like her, but she had never sensed this other personality. Never heard it speak.

She had to accept that she might not have been able to. The trouble was, if Leiard was capable of hiding a part of himself, he also might be capable of lying to her. It was possible this notion of another personality in his mind was simply an explanation he hoped she’d believe if she ever sensed his true feelings.

She groaned. This is going nowhere! I’ve been tormenting myself about it for days. If I could just think about something else . . .