Mark Hodder - The curious case of the Clockwork Man

“I suppose the reappearance of his elder brother is to blame?” Burton suggested.

“Absolutely. Well, that's my theory, anyway. I should warn you that he'll tell you a cock-and-bull story about a ghost.”

“A ghost, by Gad!” Burton exclaimed, startled by the occurrence of yet another coincidence. Tichborne and Brundleweed, both haunted?

“Absolute rot, of course,” Lushington added. “Unless it's true. Who knows? I hear there's great enthusiasm for table-tapping in London these days, so maybe there's something in all that life-after-death nonsense, but I'm inclined to think otherwise. Have you ever been to a seance? I haven't. Don't see the need for them.”

Burton leaned forward. “So you haven't witnessed anything yourself?”

Lushington hesitated, took a gulp from his glass, and answered: “I haven't seen anything, no… Well, that is to say, not with my eyes. But I must admit, I might have spotted something with my ears. Spotted? No. Hah! Obviously a man doesn't see with his ears. Ahem! I mean I heard something. But then there's an awful lot to hear in a big old house like this, so it was probably nothing. Perhaps mice, except they don't knock, that's the thing of it.”

“You heard knocking?” Burton was beginning to feel more than a little frustrated by the colonel's rambling manner of speech.

Lushington shook his head, coughed, and nodded. “That's right, I did. Knocking, these two nights past, as if someone were walking through the house banging on the walls. Not mice, then. I don't know why I said mice.”

“Did you investigate?”

“Of course, military instinct. Seek out the enemy. On both occasions, as I approached the noise, it stopped.”

“The enemy mice ran away?” put in Swinburne, mischievously.

“Quite so, if it was mice, which it obviously wasn't.”

“So what was it then?” Burton asked.

“Not a clue. Haven't the remotest idea. Completely at a loss. The foundations settling as the day's heat dissipated, perhaps? Ah! There you have it! Mystery solved!”

Over the course of the next two hours, they reviewed the history of the Tichborne family and the circumstances leading up to the Claimant's imminent arrival. He was due at the house the day after tomorrow, and Lushington was eager to see the individual who'd caused such a furore.

“Bogle, the butler, the Jamaican fellow-at least I think he's Jamaican. West Indian, anyway-has been with the family for many years. He knew Roger Tichborne and will be sure to recognise him on sight. Then there's the resident physician, or doctor-what's the difference?-Jankyn, and the groundsman, er-er-er-”

“Guilfoyle,” Swinburne offered.

“Ah!” Lushington responded. “Is he, indeed? And your name, sir?”

“Algernon Swinburne. We were introduced earlier, if you remember. Are you really in charge of the estate's finances?”

“What of Sir Alfred's opinion?” Burton interrupted hastily. “Surely you aren't discounting that? He is, after all, the brother.”

“True, but he also has a vested interest. I'm sure he'd much rather this fellow was exposed as an outright crook. If not, he loses the estate.”

Burton looked surprised. “Surely you don't mean to suggest that he might purposely deny his brother simply to keep hold of the title?”

“Good lord, of course not!”

A gong sounded and echoed through the house.

“That's the summons to supper or dinner or something similar. What time is it? Clocks don't work here. I never have the vaguest idea what the confounded hour is!”

The king's agent frowned and pulled out his pocket watch.

“It's half-past six. What do you mean, clocks don't work?”

“Simply that. Every timepiece in this house stopped a month or so ago. I daresay yours will, too, if you stay here long enough. Perhaps it's something to do with the position of the building and the Earth's magnetics. I wouldn't know. I'm a soldier, not a Technologist! Anyway, Bogle will take you and your luggage up to the guest rooms so you can change into your evening wear. Just a formality. Observing the rituals. The mark of civilisation. A man should always dress for whatever it is, don't you think? We'll reconvene in the dining room in fifteen minutes. You'll meet Sir Alfred there. If he comes. He may not.”

A quarter of an hour later, wearing their formal attire, Burton and Swinburne descended the grand staircase. The poet giggled, remembering that his friend had, a few weeks ago, come down a similar staircase in a far less controlled fashion. He wondered whether Sir Roderick Murchison would ever forgive Burton.

They passed along the hall, in which polished suits of armour stood silent guard, and entered the long dining room. A grand table dominated its centre, and all around it the walls were hung with portraits.

Bogle bowed as they entered. Colonel Lushington greeted them.

“That's the young Roger Tichborne,” he said, pointing at one of the paintings. “While that-” he turned and indicated another “-is his ancestor, the notorious Roger de Tichborne. The same name, you'll note, except for the de. It means of, I believe. Roger of Tichborne, on account of the fact that he was-”

He cleared his throat and fell silent.

“He was what?” Swinburne asked.

“Of Tichborne, man!”

“Ah. I see. Rather a nasty-looking cove!”

“Oh, I wouldn't say so,” came a voice from the door. “But perhaps that's because I bear a distinct resemblance!”

They turned their heads and saw two men crossing the threshold.

“May I introduce Sir Alfred Tichborne?” the colonel said. “Sir Alfred, this is Sir Richard Burton and his assistant, um-um-um-”

“Algernon Swinburne,” said Swinburne.

“Welcome, gentlemen, and thank God you're here!” Tichborne stepped forward with his hand outstretched. “You've got to help me!”

Burton was taken aback by Sir Alfred's appearance, for though the baronet was young, his hair was completely white and there were deep lines scoring the skin around his eyes.

Tichborne stood about five foot nine and was of a large build. He did, indeed, resemble the man in the portrait-facially, at least-but where his ancestor's features were cruel, Sir Alfred's were weak. His lips possessed an unpleasantly loose and damp appearance; his chin was too receded; his eyes too widely set. In attire, he was foppish to the point of effeminacy, and the hand that Burton shook felt boneless.

The baronet's eyes moved restlessly, fearfully.

Before he could say anything else, the second man interrupted: “I'm sure Sir Richard will do all he can to assist, Sir Alfred, but let's not ask him to do so on an empty stomach? What!”

“Gentlemen, this is Doctor Jankyn, our resident physician,” said Lushington. “Or Physician Jankyn, our resident doctor. I don't know how it works. One way or the other, I would think.”

“Pleased to meet you, what!” said Jankyn.

He was a tall and lanky fellow, with big hands and feet, and a long jaw. His grey hair was brushed back and fell in curls to the nape of his neck. His ears stuck out and his close-set eyes were of the palest blue.

The five men sat at the table, wine was served by Bogle, and maids brought platters of food.

Sir Alfred twitched and fidgeted, outdoing even Swinburne's habitual nervous agitation.

“So how may I be of service?” Burton asked him. “Do you seek my opinion of the Claimant?”

“Fiddlesticks!” Tichborne cried passionately. “He's nothing but a cheap swindler! No, Burton, I want you to get rid of the damned witch before she gets rid of me!”

“Witch?”

“The Lady Mabella! The foul sorceress who wishes me, the last of the Tichbornes, dead!”

Jankyn spoke: “Sir Alfred is under the impression that this house is being haunted by that man's-” he pointed at the portrait of Roger de Tichborne “-wife.”