James Swallow - The Flight of the Eisenstein

'I cannot answer that, lord. He fights hard, but his strength will eventually wane and this disease that has him is like none I have seen or heard of. It changes from moment to moment to mimic different phages, little by little wearing down his resistance.' Voyen gave him a hard look. 'You should consider granting him release.'

Garro's eyes narrowed. 'Events have forced me to end the lives of too many of my kindred already! Now you would ask me to slit the throat of one who lies too weak to defend himself?'

'It would be a mercy.'

'For whom?' Garro demanded. 'For Decius, or for you? I see the disgust you can barely hide, Voyen. You would rather all evidence of the foulness that attacked us be jettisoned, eh? Easier for you to ignore its consequence and whatever connection it might have to your blasted lodges!'

The Apothecary froze, shocked into silence by his commander's outburst.

Garro saw his reaction and immediately regretted his words. He looked away to see the Luna Wolf approaching. 'I am sorry, Meric, I spoke out of turn. My frustration overtook my reason-'

Voyen hid his wounded expression. 'I have duties I must address, lord. By your leave.' He moved away as Qruze came closer.

The old Astartes threw a glance after him. 'We think we have seen it all and yet there always comes a day when the universe shows us the folly of that hubris.'

'Aye,' managed Garro.

Qruze nodded to himself. 'Captain, I took the liberty of compiling an order of battle for your review, follow­ing the retreat from Isstvan.' He handed over a data-slate and Garro scanned the names. 'Just over forty line Astartes and half mat number of men of veteran rank­ing, including myself. Five warriors severely injured in the escape but capable of meeting batde, should it come to it. The count does not include you or the Apothecary.'

'Solun Decius is not listed.'

'He's in a coma, is he not? He is an invalid and can­not fight.'

The captain tapped a balled fist on his augmetic leg with a defiant grimace. 'Some dared to say that to me and I made a lie of it! While Decius lives, he's still one of my men,' Garro retorted. 'You'll add him to the roll until I tell you otherwise.'

'As you wish/ said Qruze.

Garro weighed the slate in his hand. 'Seventy men, Iacton. Out of thousands of Astartes at Isstvan, we are all that still live beyond the reach of the Warmaster's treachery.' The words were still difficult for him to say aloud, and he saw that Qruze found it just as hard to hear them.

'There will be others/ insisted the Luna Wolf. 'Tarvitz, Loken, Varren… all of them are good, staunch warriors who won't see such rebellion with­out opposing it.'

'I do not question that/ replied the Death Guard, 'but when I think of them left behind while we fled for the warp-' He broke off, his voice tightening. The memory of the virus bombing was still painful. 'I wonder how many made it to shelter before the plague and the firestorm. If only we could have saved some of them, rescued a few more of our brethren.' Garro thought of Saul Tarvitz and Ullis Temeter, and hoped that death had come quickly for his friends.

'It is the duty of this vessel to be a messenger, not a lifeboat. For all we can know, other ships may have slipped away, or gone to ground. The fleet is huge and the Warmaster cannot have eyes everywhere/

'Perhaps/ said Garro, 'but I cannot look upon my brothers hereabouts and not see those we left to face Horns/ He stood, his glove pressed to the thick armourglass of the containment chamber, and stud­ied the papery face of Decius where the youth lay amid a nest of life-support devices and auto-narthe-cia. 'I feel like I have aged centuries in a day/ he admitted.

Qruze snorted in a dry chuckle. 'Is that all? Live as long as I have and you'll come to understand that it's not the years that count, it's the distance you travel/

Garro broke away from the sight of his comrade. Then by that reckoning, I am older still/

'With all due respect, you're a stripling, Battle-Captain Garro/

'You think so, Luna Wolf?' Garro replied. 'You for­get the nature of the realm through which we pass. I would warrant that were we to match our days of birth to the Imperial calendar, I would be as old as you, brother, perhaps even your senior.'

'Impossible/ scoffed the other Astartes.

'Is it? Time moves at different rates on Terra and Cthonia. In the warp it becomes malleable and unpredictable. When I think of the years I have spent in passage through that infernal domain or in the lit­tle-death of coldsleep on voyages below the speed of light… I may not match you in days, but in chronol­ogy the story would be quite different/ He looked back at Decius. 'I see this poor, untempered boy and I wonder if he will ever live to see the glory and the scope of what I have known. Today, I feel more weary than I ever have before. All those days escaped and deaths postponed drag at me. Their weight threatens to pull me under/

The veil of long-suffering temper that was Qruze's usual mien dropped away for a moment, and the old soldier placed a hand on Garro's shoulder. 'Brother, this is the weight we bear all our living days, the bur­den of the Astartes as the Emperor gave it to us. We must carry the future of mankind and the Imperium upon our backs, keep it safe and held high for Him. Today that burden weighs more than it ever has, and we have seen that there are those among our number who cannot support it any longer. They chose…' He took a deep breath. 'Horus chose to throw it aside and become an oath-breaker, so we must bear it without

him. You must bear it, Nathaniel. The alarm we hold cannot sound unheard out here in the darkness. You must do whatever must be done in order to warn Terra. All other concerns, our lives and those of our brothers, come a distant second to that mission.'

'Aye/ said Garro, after a few moments. You only voice the words I heed inside myself, but it braces me to hear another say them.'

'The Half-heard is heard at last, eh? A pity it has taken such a turn of events to bring that to pass.'

'I accept my lot in this,' the Death Guard noted, fin­gering the oath paper sealed to the breastplate of his power armour, 'and yet I do not understand it.'

'Understanding is not required,' Qruze quoted the old axiom, 'only obedience.'

'Not true,' reasoned Garro. 'Obedience, blind obedi­ence, would have made us follow Horas to his banner and go against the Emperor. What I wish to under­stand is why, Iacton. Why would he do this, to his father of all men?'

'The question that comes again and again.' A shadow passed over the Luna Wolfs face. 'Damn me, Nathaniel. Damn me if I didn't see this coming but had too much pride to accept it.'

'The lodges,'

'And more/ said Qruze. 'In hindsight I see trivial things that meant so little at the time, turns of phrase and looks in the eyes of my kinsmen. Now, under the light of what has transpired, suddenly they show a different aspect.' He mused for a moment. 'The death of Xavyer Jubal on Sixty-Three Nineteen, the burning of the Interex… Davin, it was on Davin that things began to turn, where the momentum came to a head. Horus fell and then he rose, healed by the arcane. I knew then, even if I dared not take the scope of it.

Men took the good and open nature of our brother­hood and turned it slowly to meet their own ends. Dark shadows grew over the hearts of warriors who had once been devoted and loyal, Astartes I had seen grow from whelps to fine, upstanding brothers. When I finally spoke of these things, they thought me an old fool with nothing to provide but war stories and a tar­get for their mockery.' The Luna Wolf looked away. 'My crime, brother, my crime was that I let them. I took the easy road.'

Garro shook his head. 'If that were true, then you would not be here. If events of recent days have taught me anything, it is that there comes a moment for each of us when we are tested! As he said it, once again Euphrati Keeler came to the surface of his thoughts. 'What happens in that moment is the true measure of us, Iacton. We cannot break, old man. If we do, then we will be damned.'