John Steakley - Armor

Still, he loved him. In his short life, there had been only the two who had touched him. Now one.

He glanced at the time. Damn! Two hours here!

“Allie, we’ve got to get out of here. Call the ship.”

“Suddenly you’re in a hurry.”

“I’m not. The ants are. They must’ve sensed us by now. They’ll be coming.”

“Fleet reports say no ants here. It’s why I picked it.”

Felix stared at him. “Fleet reports? I thought you’d been keeping track of this war.”

“Hmm. I see what you mean. Fleet isn’t here.”

Felix laid a glove on his shoulder. “Let me tell you something, old friend. Fleet is never here. Call the ship.”

“I can’t. Well, I could, of course. But we need to go somewhere else to get picked up.”

“Why is that?”

“Dammit, Felix. This is supposedly a probe placement. They pick us up at the end of the line when we’ve finished planting them.”

“Where?”

“About ten kilometers, I believe.”

“When?”

The Masao eyed him with distaste. “I think I liked you better in my lap.”

“When, Allie?”

“About five hours. Plenty of time.”

Felix stood up. “Let’s get started.”

“You trying to. scare the Masao?”

“Allie, don’t you understand? This is Banshee!”

“Oh! You mean this is Banshee….”

Felix tried to get angry. He failed. “Come on,” he urged.

“Relax, my friend. We’ll have you in the Hall of Gold in less than….”

“No.”

Allie paused. He stood up. “You mean you won’t go back?”

“Let’s talk about it later. We’ve got to get these people moving.”

“Very well,” Allie agreed reluctantly. “For now. Suki!”

They were up and moving in seconds, a steady procession of two concentric circles. A good team. Felix only had one suggestion. He thought the probes ought to be left behind now that their purpose had. been served. The CO treated the advise like an order. “Yessir,” he replied respectfully and ordered the probes abandoned on the spot.

Felix stared at him. Now that he noticed it, all the others were treating him with equal deference. He caught them glancing his way occasionally, always taking care not to get caught gawking.

He accused the Masao.

Allie laughed. “I swear to you. I told no one. And Suki wouldn’t dare.”

“Well, I guess seeing that we knew each other…”

Allie laughed again. “Could be that. Could be your Command Voice.”

“Buzz off, Allie.”

“You can’t still blame them,” Allie insisted. “Besides, it wasn’t their fault the freighter buckled.”

Felix sighed. “It was their fault she was on the freighter in the first place.”

They had been walking for over an hour. Allie had been on him the whole way. He turned his gaze to the others, marching steadily around them. No one had approached, no one had spoken. Their privacy was respected. Pure Masao, he thought wryly.

He realized Allie had been talking. “What?” he asked.

His friend sounded exasperated. “I said you can’t go on blaming a whole people for a mistake made by a few.”

“Allie, those few didn’t just err, they defaulted. You know how long it took me to run away? Three months. I planned for three months and my bodyguards still almost caught up with me. Angel lost hers, without planning, in three minutes. That’s a breakdown in commitment. The guards simply didn’t care enough about her to do their duty.”

“All right,” Allie conceded. “Perhaps you’re right….”

“No ‘perhaps’ about it.”

“Okay, okay. You made your point. But you’re still blaming the planet for it?”

“Allie, the guards were just indicative. They never accepted Angel—no one ever did. They never gave her a chance.”

Allie shrugged. “She was an Earthwoman. Your people resented it.”

“Goddammit! My mother was from Earth! So was yours. They never had any trouble.”

“That was a long time ago, Partner. They were there from the start. They were very old and revered. Mine still is.”

He grinned, looked sideways at his friend. “Still beautiful, too?”

Allie laughed. “By Imperial decree.”

“I always loved your mother.”

“She loved you. She’s missed you.”

“Yes.”

They were quiet for several steps. “Angel left me a note before she left. Did I tell you that?”

“Yes.”

“She said she was afraid she was holding me back.”

“Yes.”

“She didn’t know. Even then, she still didn’t know how much I… I” His voice cracked. He fought the churning.

“Do you want to stop?” Allie asked him.

“No.”

“We can. We’ve got plenty of time.”

“No,” he said firmly. “I’ll be all right.” He looked at Allie through his tears.

Maybe I will, he thought.

An hour later they had covered over half the distance. The landscape had gradually changed. They were on a long broken plain apparently unaffected by the storm. Crusted dunes were everywhere around them. In the distance, foot-hill-size drifts could be made out.

Allie tried patriotism.

“The people need you,” he said.

Felix sighed. “They have a Guardian now. They have Tasp.”

“You know about that? Well, you have bothered to keep up then.”

“No. But who else could it have been?”

“You.”

“Well, it wasn’t.”

“You would be better.”

“What’s wrong with Tasp? Don’t the people like him?”

“Of course they do. He’s a good Guardian.”

“Well, then.”

“But he isn’t you.” Allie stopped suddenly, looked at him carefully. “They wanted you .”

Felix matched his gaze. “I wanted Angel.”

* * * * *

Another hour. The team sat or lay sprawled around them in the sand. They were making very good time. Allie voiced concern about arriving early.

“If we have to wait two hours there, won’t it be just as bad?”

“Aha,” laughed Felix. “I have scared the Masao.”

“Don’t be impertinent.”

Felix laughed again. “Yes, Great One.” And he went on to explain that it was location, not timing, that counted. He was explaining about the three-hour safety margin surrounding Retrieval when it hit him. He stopped and stared at his friend, seeing him, really seeing him for the first time. And, more importantly, really believing he was here.

He sat forward and threw his arms around his chest and held him close. They were silent for several seconds. Then they broke away. Allie peered closely into his faceplate.

“You’re back,” he said.

Felix smiled. “Yes.”

“This is really you again.”

Felix laughed. “It always was.”

“Some of you,” Allie corrected.

He nodded. “ ‘Some of me’ still, Allie. It’s been… very bad.”

“Whatever. I think it’s incredible. In four hours—after two years of being… whoever it was you were.”

Felix shrugged. “I was already on my way. He was dying.”

“He?”

“The Engine.”

“And that is… what?”

“Exactly. A what. As opposed to a who.”

Allie shook his head. “I don’t get it.”

“Good. It’s just something that… well, it kept me alive.”

“If that’s what you call living. The life you had is…”

“Allie, once and for all—I’m not going back. Never.”

The Masao sighed loudly. He lay back in the sand. “All right.” He tapped the toe of a boot against Felix’s armor. “I hope your next suit is more fun.”

Felix shook his head violently. “No. No more armor for me. I don’t…”He stared at something in the distance, not seeing it, and wondered how he had possibly done it at all. He shook the thoughts away. “I don’t know what I’d do if I had to fight again. No more armor for me.”