John Steakley - Armor

“Stop!”

“…or of her…”

And Felix hit him. It was not a deadly blow. It was not even hard—this was Allie, after all.

But Suki came running anyway, drawing his long sword. The blade glowed with the rich dullness of plassteel. Felix shoved Allie back and eagerly faced the charging guard.

“Who’s the clown?” he called as belligerently as he could.

Allie threw up a golden arm. “Suki! Hold!”

The guard skidded to a halt. “But my Lord!”

“I am unhurt,” assured his master calmly. “Leave us.”

“You tell ’im, Allie,” snarled Felix, spoiling.

Suki whirled to face him again. “You dare to speak that way?”

Felix pointed a blunt black finger. “You won’t believe how quickly I’ll kill you,” he said flatly.

Suki raised the sword.

“Hold, Suki!” commanded Allie. “Put that away.”

Suki stared helplessly at him. He obeyed reluctantly. “Lord, how can you let him behave so?”

Allie patted his armored shoulder. “Suki, a Guardian Archon behaves as he will.”

“Don’t call me that!” Felix snapped angrily.

“It is what you are,” replied Allie firmly.

Suki had dropped to his knees before Felix. “My Lord Archon, please forgive me. I didn’t know!”

Felix stared at him. “Aw, shit! Just… just go away!” Suki did not move. “I said ‘Go!’”

“You know he can’t do that now, Felix.”

Felix groaned. Allie was right. He did know that. “You can do it, though. You tell him, Allie.”

“And shame him further?”

“Damn you, Allie!” he snapped. He hesitated, then stood over the kneeling samurai. He looked at Allie. “I don’t remember what to say.”

“Oh, come now, Felix” Allie snorted disgustedly.

“I don’t,” insisted Felix.

Allie peered at him. “Truly?”

Felix shook his head. “I don’t remember.”

“ ‘Rise, loyal one, forgiven,’” Allie intoned.

Felix repeated it. Suki stood, bowed, and backed away without a sound. Felix watched him go. He turned back to his friend.

“Allie, you set that up. You set me up.”

“Yes. I needed to know.”

“Well, you found out.”

“Yes. You buried it deep.”

“Let it stay there, Allie.”

“No.”

The ominous tone touched Felix. He felt something tearing far inside. The Engine warped violently in and out of the shadows.

“Allie, please….”

“Look at you! Look at what you’ve become. Wrapped up in that… that husk of yours. You look like a weapon.”

“That’s what I am, Allie!”

“Yes. But whose?”

“My own.”

“That’s not the way it works, Felix!” He raised his gold-covered hands and clenched them into fists before Felix’s faceplate. “Goddamn you, Felix!” he roared. “You are not dead! Stop acting like it!”

Felix lurched back as if struck. He knew it was coming. He saw it in his friend’s angry eyes. And he knew there was no way to stop it. There was no protection, no armor—not for this.

“Angel is dead,” said the Masao.

Felix sank to his knees like a rag doll. “No, Allie…”

“She’s dead. Angel died.”

“No, please…” He was gasping, his arms folded tightly across his stomach. He couldn’t breathe.

“She’s dead. Your wife is dead. She died in a freighter accident…”

He vomited, tried to crawl away.

The Masao followed. “It was a freak accident. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.”

“Please, no…” Felix gasped.

“Yes! Yes! You know it. You found the freighter yourself…”

“Allie…”

“NO! You found the ship and you found her body! Or what was left of it after zero pressure had blown…”

“Noooooooo!” He rose back to his knees. His arms shot out from his sides, begging, beseeching. “Nooo-Noooo! Angel! Annngellllll…!”

And he screamed the scream again, that same scream from that same horrible ice-bloody sight. He screamed with his mind and he screamed with his soul and he could not stop, not to breathe, not to forget, not to live.

He fainted, the only way.

When he awoke, he was lost. He tried to rise but something held him fast. Something strong and gold—Allie! And it all rushed back in waves of pulsing agony and he wept as only once before he had. The golden arms curled around him, holding him, as his body jerked and heaved with each racking sob. He clung to Allie, trying to make it. And it helped. Even through the armor, it helped.

But he couldn’t do it. He reached for the forearm panel to pop the suits. Allie’s powerful arms, possessing all the leverage, clamped his arms too tightly. He struggled, but could not get them free.

“Oh, Allie, I want to die!”

“Is that all?” asked his friend gently. “Just die?”

“That’s all.”

“And so you came here?”

“I… guess so.”

“But you forgot you can’t ‘just die.’”

“Why can’t I?”

Allie held him tighter, cradling. “Because, despite it all, you are Felix and must be killed.”

Again, he slept.

When next he awoke the sobs were much less devastating. His body could no longer support them perhaps. Soon they stopped. He lifted his helmet from Allie’s golden lap and sat up. Several meters away, the warriors and guard were gathered into small groups, sitting and talking. And, obviously, waiting.

“I’m sorry,” said Felix. “How long was I out?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Allie said gently. “You feel better?”

“Yes. I can’t believe I could sleep. I just got up.” He indicated the others. “Haven’t they said anything?”

“Forget them.”

“But the drop…?”

“Forget that, too.”

“But….” He stopped, seeing it. He faced his friend. “It was all a fake. The drop… all for me.”

Allie nodded slowly. “Mostly,” he admitted. “This is Banshee, however. And we are carrying probes. Of course they don’t work.”

“They never have.”

“So I understand. Lovely war, this.”

“How’d you do it? You said no one else knew.”

“And they don’t. No one here, except Suki, knows.”

“Then how, Allie?”

Allie shrugged. “The master of the Terra was most cooperative. He gave me a drop of my own.”

“He went along, without even knowing why?”

“I am the Masao.”

Felix smiled. For some reason, he had always found his friend’s astonishing arrogance endearing. He gestured toward the others. “And the CO?”

“Oh, much easier. Command Voice and all that.”

Felix winced. “He’s not a pet, Allie.”

“Oh really? Then what’s he doing here ?”

He laughed, started to say something else. But it came again, without warning, doubling him over, grinding up and out. He wept and wept.

He had been sitting and staring at nothing, thinking of nothing. He was numb, exhausted, wrenched flat. And, he realized with amazement, relieved. He didn’t know exactly what it meant. He didn’t want to know. Or at least he didn’t feel like examining it. Beside him, sitting patiently and waiting, with his back to all, sat the Masao. Felix smiled—he had his legs g-crossed Bhudda-fashion.

All his life he had known this man. He was closer to him than any other human. Despite the fact that they were from two different planets and two different cultures, they had managed to stay in touch since infancy. Most of the major events in their lives had been joint ventures. Allie had been Best Man.

But what really, he thought, did they have in common? Only that their recent ancestors had been rich enough and tough enough and egocentric enough to establish favorite monarchies on the two richest planets in known space. Even in that respect the two were different. Felix had been but one of twelve candidates for Guardian. The Masao had been the Masao from conception. He had always known it and always loved it that way. Whereas, Felix….