Arthur Clarke - Imperial Earth

Duncan was now employing it for its simplest possible use—merely as a speech recorder, which was almost an insult to a machine of such power. But first there was an important matter to settle—the question of security.

An easily remembered word, preferably one that would never be employed in this context, would be the simplest key. Better still, a word that did no even exist—then it could never accidentally trigger the ’Sec’s memory.

Suddenly, he had it. There was one name he would never forget; and if he deliberately misspelled it...

He carefully pecked out KALINDY, followed by the sequence of instructions that would set up the memory. Then he unplugged the tiny radiomike, pinned it on his shirt, spoke a test message, and checked that the machine would play it back only after it had been given the correct order.

Duncan had never kept a diary, but he had decided to do so as soon as he arrived on Earth. In a few weeks he would meet more people and visit more places than in the whole of his preceding life, and would certainly have experiences that could never be repeated when he returned to Titan. He was determined to miss nothing that could be helped, for the memories he was storing now would be of inestimable value in the years ahead. How many times in his old age, he wondered, would he play back those words of his youth...?

“2276 June 12. I’m still adapting to Earth gravity, and don’t think I’ll ever get really used to it. But I can stand for an hour at a time now, without developing too many aches and pains. Yesterday I saw a man actually jumping . I could hardly believe my eyes...”

“George, who thinks of everything, has arranged a masseur for me. I don’t know if that’s helped at all, but it’s certainly an interesting experience.”

Duncan stopped recording and contemplated this slight understatement. Such luxuries were rare on Titan, and he had never before had a massage in his life. Bernie Patras, the amiable and uninhibited young man who had visited him, had shown a remarkable (indeed, startling) knowledge of physiology, and had also given Duncan much useful advice. He was a specialist in treating off-worlders, and recommended one sovereign cure for gravitational complaints. “Spend an hour a day floating in a bath—at least for the first month. Don’t let your schedule squeeze this out, no matter how busy you are. If you have to, you can do a lot of work in a tub—reading, dictating, and so forth. Why, the Lunar Ambassador used to hold briefings with just his nose and mouth above water. Said he could think better that way...”

That would certainly be an undiplomatic spectacle, Duncan told himself—unique even in this city, which had probably seen everything.

“I’ve been here three days now and this is there first time I’ve had the energy—and the inclination— and the opportunity—to put my thoughts in order. But from now on, I swear, I’ll do this every day...

“The first morning after my arrival, General George—that’s what everyone calls him—took me to the Embassy, which is only a few hundred meters from the hotel. Ambassador Robert Farrell apologized because he couldn’t come to the spaceport. He said, ‘I knew you’d be in good hands with George—he’s the world’s greatest organizer.’ Then the General left us, and we had a long private talk.

“I met Bob Farrell on his last visit to Titan, three years ago, and he remembers me well—at least, he gave that impression, which I suppose is an art all diplomats have to acquire. He was very helpful and friendly, but I got the feeling that he was sounding me out, and not telling me everything he knew. I realize that he’s in an ambiguous position, being a Terran yet having to represent our interests. One day this may cause difficulties, but I don’t know what we can do about it, since no native-born Titanian can ever live on Earth...”

“Luckily there are no urgent problems, as the Hydrogen Agreement isn’t due for renegotiation until ’80. But there were dozens of little items on my shopping list, and I left him with plenty to think about. Such as: why can’t we get quicker deliveries of equipment, can anything be done to improve shipping schedules, what went wrong with the new student exchange?—and similar Galaxy-shaking questions. He promised to set up appointments for me with all the people who could straighten these things out, but I tried to hint that I wanted to spend some time looking at Earth. And after all, he’s not only our man in Washington but also our representative on Terra...”

“He seemed quite surprised when I told him that I expected to stay on Earth for almost a year, but at this stage I thought it best not to give him the main reason. I’m sure he’ll guess it quickly enough. When he tactfully asked about my budget, I explained that the Centennial Committee had been a great help, and there was still some Makenzie money in the World Bank which I was determined to use. ‘I understand,’ he said, ‘Old Malcolm’s over a hundred and twenty now, isn’t he? Even on Earth, leaving as little as possible for the Community Fund to grab is a popular pastime.’ Then he added, not very hopefully, that any personal balances could be legally bequeathed to the Embassy for its running expenses. I said that was a very interesting point and I’d bear it in mind...”

“He volunteered to give me any assistance on my speech, which was kind of him. When I said I was still working on it, he reminded me that it was essential to have a final draft by the end of June so that all of the important commentators could study it in advance. Otherwise, it would be drowned in the flood of verbiage on July Fourth. That was a very good point, which I hadn’t thought of; but then I said, ‘Won’t the other speakers do exactly the same?’ And he answered, ‘Of course, but I’ve got good friends in all the media, and there’s a great interest in Titan. You’re still intrepid explorers in the wilderness. There may not be many volunteer carvers around here, but we like to hear about such things.’ By that time I felt we’d got to understand each other, and so I risked teasing him ‘You mean it’s true—Earth is getting decadent?’ And he looked at me with a grin and answered quickly: ‘Oh, no— we aren’t decadent.’ Then he paused, and added: ‘But the next generation will be.’ I wonder how far he was joking...”

“Then we talked for ten minutes about mutual friends like the Helmers and the Wongs and the Morgans and the Lees—oh, he seems to know everyone important on Titan. And finally he asked about Grandma Ellen, and I told him that she was just the same as ever, which he understood perfectly. And then George came back and took me to his farm. It was the first chance I had of seeing the open countryside, in full daylight. I’m still trying to get over it...”

“Don’t take this program too seriously,” said General George Washington. “It’s still being changed every day. But your main appointments—I’ve marked them—aren’t going to be altered. Especially on July Fourth.”

Duncan leafed through the small brochure that the other had handed to him when they entered President Bernstein’s limousine. It was a daunting document—stuffed full of Addresses and Receptions and Balls and Processions and Concerts. Nobody in the capital was going to get much sleep during the first few days in July, and Duncan felt sorry for poor President Claire Hansen.

As a gesture of courtesy, in this Centennial year she was President not only of the United States, but also of Earth. And, of course, she had not asked for either job; if she had done so—or even if she had been suspected of such a faux pas—she would have been automatically eliminated. For the last century, almost all top political appointments on Terra had been made by random computer selection from the pool of individuals who had the necessary qualifications. It had taken the human race several thousand years to realize that there were some jobs that should never be given to the people who volunteer for them, especially if they showed too much enthusiasm. As one shrewd political commentator had remarked: “We want a President who has to be carried screaming and kicking into the White House—but will then do the best job he possibly can, so that he’ll get time off for good behavior.”