Carola Dibbell - The Only Ones

I woke up and see him in the shed in the middle of the night! The cable got unhooked. The monitor’s dead. I mean, he is really at risk that close to me, even outside the bubble! He’s just wearing regular clothes. He should wear something, a bubble suit. At least a mask. What is he thinking? Then it’s fixed.

He’s on the monitor. Do I feel anything? Here we go again.

When the test is over, he runs his own urine and bloods too, in case he got something. I mean, lucky to be alive, I wasn’t the only one. He looks worse than I do.

I pour spray inside the bubble before he opens the seal. Then I take the bubble to a hole I had already dug in the woods where Henry told me and bury it.

Rauden got the first read of my bloods. “Nothing in the blood. No pathogens, no antibodies. Nada.”

“Read the urine.”

“Jesus!”

“It’s safe. They’re all dead.” I had done this before.

“So this is how it works! I have never seen anything like this in my life!” He is reading from the lock file, which is, like, Proof, what went in, what came out.

So. We finally got something that works.

He lets Henry come over and even Henry has a drink. Rauden already had a drink. I will say this, he didn’t drink anything the whole time of the test. He is still really shaky. Henry is wheeling all over the place. They are both excited. Now all they have to do is reach Rini Jaffur, but this time the problem is, wherever she is, systems are down, so they got to put me in a trailer in the woods, because Janet won’t let me in her house in case I got something from the Seal Room test, and they don’t think I should stay on the Farm because Rauden has to go to the clinic in Bovina and they don’t want me in there alone.

Rauden is furious at Janet. Now he knows how hardy I am, he is worried am I cold? Wet? Hungry? Like, I am so hardy, he has to make sure I don’t get anything! Janet won’t even help make the vidCast for Rini Jaffur. I hear Rauden scream at Janet from his Mobile but she just leaves a bag off at the Farm with makeup, a comb, her daughter’s old clothes in it. Rauden brings them to the trailer. We have to pin the clothes to fit. I have to clean up with water Rauden brings in a jug, dress, sit in a chair, look at the camera, and say, “My name is Inez Kissena Fardo. I lived my whole life in Queens and never got anything.”

I was alone for two days while he’s at the clinic. I stayed pretty much in the trailer. The trailer was ok. It had a burner, MREs. Beverage. No TV though. I only saw the Mumbai News when they finally let me back on the Farm. Twenty cities, six million dead. They say it got to China.

The vidCast just bounced back from Rini. Nada. We don’ looks me up and downisisLoof9Ht even know where she is. He’s back from Bovina and I could stay at the Farm in the daytime. Rauden’s just sending message after message to Rini.

“Rini, do you realize the odds against someone like her turning up?”

Away message.

He gets drunk and calls her. “She may not be the only one like her in the world. But she’s the only one I’ve ever found! You are not going to get hardy talent like this, honestly, in your life.”

He reached her!

He yelled and then I heard him say, “Well, how fucking ethical would it have been with goddamn Madhur? Sorry! That was very callous of me but you fucking know what I mean.” He got off and punches everything he saw. “Damn that woman! Damn that woman!”

She sent a message saying she has changed her mind.

I hear him call her back. “You won’t regret this.”

She sent a message saying she has changed her mind.

It was the old message looping up.

From now on, he keeps leaving messages but nada from Rini Jaffur. “Rini! This could work!”

Zip.

“I’ll fucking sell to someone else!”

Now she left a different message. She’s stuck in Vancouver, in some quarantine checkpoint. This all takes so long, I’m ok for another Harvest, and Bernie’s back from Erie. This time the Harvest didn’t work, period. They don’t get anything. Not a single solo. Bernie took what they call a wedge, from the ovary, because that could improve ovary function, and you can freeze the wedge and use it for other things. It is invasive. Rauden gets so drunk Bernie won’t let him drive, and when Henry gets us back to the Farm in his special van, Rini Jaffur left a message saying it will not work.

And I start to think she’s right. It isn’t going to work. None of it.

Host already wasn’t going to work. I would of liked to be a Host. It sounded like real steady work. Now Donor isn’t even going to work. Even Courier didn’t work. What I brought in the Pak was compromised. It’s not going to work, period. Rauden could even deduct expenses from my fee. So I end up with nothing. Still, I had seen a cow.

When Rauden woke me up in the trailer, shouting, “All right! Rise and shine!” then looks me up and down like Bernie did, and goes, “What can we do with you?” I thought this is it. He’s sending me home. We head straight for Janet’s house, and he’s screaming at her door, “Fucking get over it! She doesn’t have anything!”

Janet lets us in. She has different clothes for me that her daughter used to wear, a track suit she will stitch to fit while I get in the bath. Janet even cut my hair. There is white trainers for my feet that are too big but what am I, going to train? My teeth, just try not to open up my mouth too wide.

“I mean, what does it matter?” Rauden mentions, shaking. “That’s environmental.” He just mentions it to himself though. Janet Delize is too busy putting my lipstick on.

Now bring me back to the Farm. Rini Jaffur bought her way out of the Vancouver checkpoint, is so rich she could afford three planes to Ottawa, a ride to Albany, and a glider-drop to hit Erdelyi’s field at three. She fucking changed her mind.

vii

YouR">She walked right in the front room with big steps and came right up to where I was standing with Rauden. She wore a coat over, like, veils. The color of her veils is, if pink was gray, that color. The veils are wrinkled and her hair is falling down, but she does not seem to care. She’s darker than me, especially under her eyes. Under her eyes is almost black, and I could see that really good, because she sticks her face close to mine, then looks at it hard, then steps back and looks me up and down like everybody does, but even harder. And maybe you think I am used to it by now. I’m not.

When she was finished looking, she sat down on the orange sofa and patted beside her.

So I sat down.

She asked Rauden, “You don’t know anything?”

Rauden shook his head. “She could be anything.”

She shrugged her coat off and it fell behind her. Then, like you would put a coat on, or, I don’t know, a light on, she put a smile on. She shone it on me. Even her eyes were shining. It was like when you light a candle, when the power’s off? “Don’t you have any family?” she asked, and her voice was like a candle, bright.

I agreed.

“No mother? No auntie?”

I nodded, but thought about it and added, “But if I don’t come back, someone will know.”

Rini stopped smiling fast. “Rauden! What did you tell this girl?” She took my hand. She even stroked it. “Come. Did you think we mean to harm you?” There is no snow or rain outside the window now. There are even a few small leaves on those trees that was blowing around my first day at the Farm. It was still a little cold, even inside. But here, from Rini, it’s warm. She’s stroking my hand and leaning very close. “Do you understand exactly what will happen? Did Rauden say?”

I looked at Rauden.

“Rauden doesn’t know this answer. Look at me.”

And, I don’t know why, all at once I could not talk. I just sat there. It is a little hard to talk anyhow without the teeth showing.