Rajnar Vajra - Doctor Alien’s Five Empty Boxes

Not good. I tried shutting down the system. When that failed, I subvocalized “yes” and watched the data zip by far too fast to actually read. But it wasn’t quite the hyperdrive blur I’d feared, so the interface had some sort of bottleneck. Latching onto that one buoy of hope, I whipped my DM ring off my finger and threw it across the room. Even that didn’t stop the theft.

“I assume there is purpose to your unusual behavior?” Deal asked.

Could be I snarled a little. “My DM just let me know that it’s lying down and purring while something is stealing my private files.” If there’s one thing I hate, it’s when my most paranoid fears come true.

“I suggest you address the controller.”

“Right. Hey, controller, stop that download right now!”

“That operation is currently forbidden.”

Perfect. “Then tell me what you’re looking for.”

“Thoth seeks information concerning threats to your wellbeing.”

How about Thoth itself? “Tell me what it will do if it finds any threats.”

“Your servant will protect you.”

That didn’t sound so bad at face value, but this was another face I couldn’t read. “How? I mean, tell me how.”

“The means depend on the threats.”

Deal speared my ring with the tip of one limb and silently offered it back to me. Just as I put it back on my finger, the bizarre form of my unhired protector drifted toward the doorway. I couldn’t tell how Thoth propelled itself, but its movement was snail-smooth and rabbit-fast. Like an idiot, I leapt sideways to block the servant’s exit and banged into Deal, who was being an idiot in the opposite direction. Thoth pushed us aside gently, but with a strength even a Tsf couldn’t resist, and headed into the hallway without bothering to use the open door. The macramite wall shattering made a noise that put Wednesday’s explosion, by comparison, into the appropriate-for-church category.

Deal and I just looked at each other for a moment; macramites are incredibly tough when linked and no amount of electromagnetic muscle could’ve given Thoth enough traction to break the wall. But the floor was covered with tiny Vapabondi machines already scrambling to reassemble themselves. I had time for one bitter thought along the lines of et tu, physics? before a second horrific CRUNCH ahead got me stumbling over the slippery backs of macramites to follow my supposed servant. I only fell twice.

Deal, being far more sure-limbed than any middle-aged human psychiatrist, reached the reception area ahead of me and clicked so loudly the translation was a shouted, “Stop that entity!”

I leaped over a second carpet of macramites where Thoth had taken out the corner of another wall in time to see L spring through the air like an Art Nouveau rocket, the massive jumping leg he’d extruded trailing behind. He hit Thoth with a force that would’ve knocked a house off its foundations, but the Hoouk creation didn’t even quiver. Impossible. L expressed tentacles and tried to latch on. Thoth flicked one ineffective-looking mini-limb and the little push hurled my receptionist across the room to smash into his own desk. Tad, likely drawn by all the noise, galloped in from one of the east-wing corridors but braked fast after spotting the glittering monster.

“L?” I bellowed. “You all right?” His silence scared me more than Thoth did.

My faithless servant scooted past Tad, who’d courageously jumped out of the way. Then the shadow at my feet gathered itself up and flowed forward.

“Gara! Stop!”

I was already too late. She’d pooled herself around Thoth’s… feet or whatever it had and her blackness turned shiny. The old banana-peel-on-the-floor routine, I thought. That won’t work; this bastard rolls its own traction.

Sometimes I hate to be right. The bastard glided effortlessly over my PT and crashed through the outer wall, but at least Gara seemed unhurt in the process. Bathed in morning sunlight, Thoth slowed to a slow but relentless crawl; its body grew a few feet taller, its internal glitter flared into blinding coruscations. Nothing could’ve looked more dangerous.

I turned my head and my knees felt weak from relief. L had begun to stir. Then I noticed something that shoved a fresh icicle up my spine. Although the broken walls were already partly rebuilt, I could trace the line of damage. It was dead straight, aimed north by northeast and pointed directly at a certain house on the next street ahead, the residence of one Bradley S. Pearson. A sliver of Brad’s gray shingles peeked at me from between two homes across from the clinic, as did a hint of the ocean farther beyond.

By stealing my personal files, Thoth could access every conversation I’d had since my last data-dump, six months ago. Something told me my alien Frankenstein’s experiment would soon give Bradley, or more probably his widow, something truly worth suing about. This was shaping up to be a very bad morning for both Mr. Litigious and me.

“L,” I called. “Are you hurt?”

“Not significantly.”

“Good!” I turned to my supposed security officer. “Tad, that nightmare outside is a kind of robot. If you’ve got any Vapabondi super-weapons tucked away, get them. Now listen, everyone! Looks like our wall-breaker is just, um, moseying along now, maybe to soak up a few rays. I’m praying we’ll have enough time to figure out how to stop it.”

“Why should we?” Tad asked.

A bad moment for Tad to suddenly get interactive, but par for her course. “Deal and I have learned that it’s been programmed to… handle anything threatening me. So it’s heading toward the thing that’s threatened me most often.”

“Mr. Pearson,” L said, using Bradley’s obnoxious voice.

“Right. And I doubt the robot is planning to negotiate . Ideas, anyone?”

“Certainly,” Deal proclaimed with a single, confident snap. “The controller must be disabled. I suggest that you and I along with the Vithy do what we can to impede the robot’s progress. Meanwhile the Pokaroll, who has witnessed the disassembly procedure, should attempt to dismantle the controller. Your surprising Vapabond can assist.”

Surprising? No time to ask. I glanced outside. Judging from Thoth’s increasing speed, I guessed it had nearly finished sunbathing. Worse, Phillips and Braun, my guardians parked on the street, were sliding out of their patrol car, weapons already drawn. I ran out the direct way, through the wall’s new hole, just beginning to self-heal.

“What is that thing?” Phillips yelled to me.

“Tell you later. Put those guns away, for God’s sake!” Considering Thoth’s Aggressive Protection mission, I figured nothing good would happen if it got the impression the cops were targeting me . And if the cops actually fired? While I was damn sure bullets couldn’t dent a Hoouk energy servant, that didn’t mean the robot wouldn’t shoot back somehow.

The cops lowered their .38s, maybe thanks to the panic in my voice, but they didn’t holster them. Bad mistake. Thoth stopped dead. A lenslike protrusion emerged from its glittering torso, pointed exactly between the two officers. I’m no sprinter, but would’ve surely broken some world record that day, if I’d run that fast on my own. Instead, a textured shadow slid under my feet and flowed in the direction I was running like a super-speed moving walkway. I reached my destination so quickly that I stumbled trying to avoid overrunning the spot. But I got there in time.

The little lens-bubble took one peek at Dr. Human Shield before sinking back into Thoth’s body and I trusted that this danger, at least, was over.

“Thanks,” I murmured to Gara, now appearing as a deep purple haze, and she gave me a don’t-mention-it sort of wriggle. Unfortunately, my latest feeling of relief had a minuscule half-life. Two smaller bubbles zoomed out from Thoth, whipped around me, and settled on the cops’ foreheads. Officers Phillips and Braun didn’t just stop moving, they seemed to congeal . For a second, I was terrified that they’d been frozen stiff, and would shatter when they fell over. And they did fall when I couldn’t reach them fast enough, but they didn’t even crack. The robot started off again, still aimed at Pearson headquarters. “Gara, we can’t do anything here, but I’ve got to get to Bradley’s house before that monster does. Can you carry me that far?”