Rajnar Vajra - Doctor Alien’s Five Empty Boxes

I shook my head. “Thanks for the praise, I think. But let’s not pat me on the back quite yet.”

“Experimental verification! Easily done.” Before she’d even finished her sentence, Deal had put the boxes into a neat vertical pile.

The effect was dramatic, and by God, totally unexpected. The robot just stood there as always, but color-shifting neon streaks danced across its torso and it emitted a hive-buzzing like a gigantic step-up transformer. And those changes were trivial compared to what happened to the boxes. They spun around individually to differing orientations and then merged like hot wax into a single translucent body that glittered from within. Its final overall shape reminded me of my Hoouk patient on the Parent Ship. Only this thing was three times larger, fully inflated, and seemed to crackle with power.

Deal caught on fast. “It appears we’d envisioned the components reversed, Doctor. The ‘robot’ must be an energy generator and DM controller, while the boxes have become the actual automaton. As you surmised, the system remained inoperative until it was complete.”

I swallowed hard. “Just tell me what this system is for.”

The controller in robot disguise joined the conversation. “Doctor Alanso Jose Morganson.” Its usual opening and closing gambit, but this time, it wasn’t finished. “In gratitude for your assistance to one of our travelers stranded and distressed far from our native galaxy, and to further our association with your employers, our siblings in trade, the wondrous and excellent Tsf who found and rescued our lost traveler, we have sent this energy servant poised before you. In one of our primary languages, we name such artificial entities dhothigon, a name you are welcome to adopt at no cost. Or you may discard it and substitute a term of your own. It is our intention for this dhothigon to be a boon in your life.”

“Ah. Thanks. Very kind of you. Um, you don’t happen to have an operator’s manual for dhothigon?”

The controller didn’t reply. Maybe it had used up its quota of words for the year.

I turned toward Deal. “You know what I find most amazing about all this?”

“Certainly. That the Hoouk would understand Tsf perspective enough to know that we would regard a gift to you as a sign of respect to us?”

“That’s… not quite what I meant. What boggles my mind is that creatures living in another galaxy seem to have mastered English.”

“I would hardly say ‘mastered.’ I found the controller’s statements verbose and awkwardly constructed. But Doctor, Hoouk knowledge of your language is readily explained. They use data management techniques similar to those employed by Tsf and to a lesser degree, humans. After we opened communications with these beings, we granted them limited access to our language files. I leave it to you to make the logical inference.”

I gave Deal a puzzled stare. “Why are you being so coy? Did you Traders, or did you not, share your knowledge of English with—”

“I should not have essayed my small evasion. The truth is that Hoouk protocols interfaced with ours so successfully that our DM systems automatically granted them full access to our files. As to English, the Hoouk helped themselves, but despite the failure of our constraints, they probed no further than our language data. We take this as a strong indication of their good will.”

“Wait. Are you saying their DM technology is so damn good that it broke through Tsf firewalls?”

“I would phrase it in less violent terms, but essentially yes.”

“That’s scary.”

Deal waved a few limbs around in a graceful way possibly intended to be reassuring. “Why?”

“Doesn’t it worry you that creatures from God knows how many light-centuries away have such an incredible grasp of… communication possibilities they can program their systems to even interact with yours, let alone mesh so completely?” Whoops. Phrased that way, the Tsf had basically done the same thing with us. “I mean without years of monitoring your media.”

“It does not, although I would expect their adroitness to dazzle you considering the present limitations of human cybertechnology. Still, a logical basis exists for any effective DM design providing some measure of universality. And advanced communication skills are prerequisite for inter-species trading.”

If Deal were really that sanguine about the security breach, she wouldn’t have been embarrassed to admit it.

“You’d know best,” I said. “But if I understand what you told me, Hoouk protocol networked with yours so well that your DMs interpreted its download demands as internal requests.”

“Just so. Still I fail to understand why the matter upsets you.”

“You really don’t get it? If your firewalls failed, what chance do mine have? I have all sorts of confidential information on my system. Patient files, personal notes, debit card PIN—”

“You are seeing predators where only shadows wait,” she said in a series of unusually loud clicks, and I had to stop myself from glancing down at the darkness at my feet. “What possible danger,” she added more quietly, “could ensue from this Hoouk creation accessing even your most personal data?”

“Beats me. That’s the problem. Maybe this isn’t true for you, but in my life, it’s been the stuff I don’t know that’s bitten me the hardest.”

Deal aimed a few more visual cilia at the dhothigon. “There, you make a firm point. Your experience is not entirely outside mine in this regard. I suggest we explore your measure of control over the situation.”

“I’m not sure what you—oh. You mean give the controller some orders and see if it salutes?”

“I will answer yes, but tentatively since the translation of your words was highly ambiguous.”

Being unsure which one to talk to, the controller or the “energy servant,” I addressed my entire audience. “I hereby name this dhothigon, um, Thoth. Thoth, will you obey me?”

Thoth had nothing to add to the conversation.

“Try an instruction,” Deal advised.

“Okay.” I pointed to one corner of the room. “Thoth, move over there.” No response, but perhaps the Hoouk hadn’t programmed the thing to understand pointing or even got the point themselves. “Thoth, come closer to me.” Another failure to communicate. I eyed the controller. “Tell me what this servant is supposed to do.”

Deal and I both jumped a little when the controller answered. “Your Thoth has one hundred and twenty possible configurations comprising variations on five basic functions, which are to serve, defend, protect, entertain, or instruct. You can select only one function at a time.”

“How do I select a function or know which configuration does what? And what’s the difference between defending and protecting me?” For that matter, how was it supposed to entertain me? Put on a red nose and big floppy shoes?

Again, I got the silent treatment.

Deal burst into rapid clicking. “Doctor! Thus far the controller has only responded to a direct order.”

My assessment of Tsf intelligence inched up, while my opinion of my own went the other way. I eyed the metal contraption and applied a voice my wife mistakenly refers to as “bossy.” “Tell me how to switch Thoth to its instructive function.”

“That operation is currently forbidden.”

I’d often read something similar on my 3DVD screen when trying to bypass the damn ads. “Why? I mean, tell me why!”

“You have configured Thoth in an aggressively protective mode that entails special security features.”

As I was getting that interesting news, flashing red letters appeared in the upper part of my vision to provide more of the same: DOWNLOAD IN PROGRESS; SIGNIFY YES IF A FILE-BY-FILE READOUT IS DESIRED.