David Larson - The Myth of the Anal Probe

“Oh, I know that,” Serilda said “and if I were to ever tell you who people with Down’s Syndrome really were, it would blow your mind.”

“Wait…” Mike said raising both eyebrows.

“Not now,” Serilda continued. “We absolutely don’t have time for that and it would completely bog down your progress here. Let’s just say that sometimes the crazies single out the sane.

“Back to where we were. All people on Earth are born with an inherent knowledge of what is right or wrong, they simply choose to ignore it in most instances for personal gain, or security. Nearly every religious sect on your planet has a caveat written into their holy books as a sort of divine disclaimer conveniently explaining how this is simply free will that the one true creator has instilled in his creation in beautiful all-knowing insight.

“If you think about it, any ‘creator’ that would actually create a being, give them the ability to do things that go directly against that creator’s will, then punish them for the rest of eternity for acting like they created them to act in the first place is more than just a little insane. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Of course I would,” Mike said. He was in the midst of a great internal struggle as he listened to the facilitator. He knew she was right, but he wanted to scream out that people controlled their basic animal instincts every single day.

“Have you ever wanted to kill someone Mike?” Serilda asked.

“That’s a pretty tough question,” Mike answered.

“The fact that it is, is pretty telling,” She said.

“No,” Mike said searching for words to explain himself. “I wouldn’t say that. You’re talking about actual murder here. Of course I’ve said the words ‘I could kill you’, everyone has…”

“Every Earth person has,” she corrected him.

“Ok, fair enough,” Mike said “but I don’t think I ever really considered taking another life.”

“Haven’t you?”

“No,” He said slowly. Then he remembered the day as a young man he watched his neighbor shoot his dog for crapping on the guy’s lawn. He could have easily grabbed that gun and turned it on the asshole that shot Butch for dropping dog turds on the wrong side of an imaginary line. His father had called the police, and the jerk was taken away, but murder was certainly on Mike’s mind at that instant.

“Ok,” He said. “I guess there have been fleeting moments when killing seemed the appropriate things to do.”

“Of course there were,” Serilda said as she leaned back into her chair and crossed her legs.

“In your own country, during your life time, how did you feel on September 11th of 2001? Didn’t you crave to be able to personally murder every single person that had any part in that horrible, unspeakable event?”

Mike just nodded.

“Throughout the history of humanity on your planet unspeakable acts have been answered by equally unspeakable retribution. The act exacted on one group or subset justifies the acts that are then exacted on the other group. ALL of these actions are connected, justified, and continued in horrible destruction, incredible loss, and unending misery. All of this brought on by yourselves and seemingly unstoppable.”

Mike had nothing to add.

“Let’s look at the more personal aspect of this,” Serilda went on. “Let’s say someone wronged you in a way that was heinous enough for you to consider actually killing them, or at least inflicting great personal harm. If you think back on that, what was the one thing that kept you from carrying out such an act, no matter how bad you wanted to do it?”

“I didn’t want to go to prison,” Mike answered matter-of-factly.

“Exactly my point Mike. You didn’t want to be punished. Even though your own holy book preaches ‘an eye for an eye’ and sets every individual free, wrapped in a cloak of God given free will… you didn’t want to get in trouble.

“From the time that you are children to the time that you die, people are answering to some higher authority that keeps them in comfortable check. There have been hundreds of studies on Earth gauging the effect of not having anyone to answer to. And the findings were that people absolutely must have a controlling authority or they become psychotic.”

“That seems pretty sad,” Mike said.

“You have to admit,” she went on “that some of your very first questions along your present journey have been ‘who’s in charge’.”

“Right again,” Mike said.

“I’m not simply trying to sit here and chastise you like a child, Mike. You absolutely must understand the workings of the human mind, and the mental gymnastics that you all go through to justify your affliction before you can ever even come close to understanding the way things work here.”

“I get all of that,” Mike said “and I want to learn, I really do. It’s just a lot to get past.”

“We understand that,” Serilda went on, “and believe me when I tell you that everything you just said was hashed over and rehashed before the decision was reached to let you come here. You showed an amazing aptitude for opening your mind when you were aboard the ship. And that, my friend, is the only reason you’re here right now.”

“And believe me,” Mike said, “you can never know how much I appreciate the opportunity.’

Serilda smiled and nodded.

“All of the above has been a path to lead to the dramatic differences between how you as a species perceive life, and how it’s perceived here.

“Let me start off with government. On Earth you have laws to control the masses. It’s a simple fact that religion is one source of complete control over human failings. Your Ten Commandments, or five pillars of Islam, or the Hindu purusharthas all are meant to control an otherwise uncontrollable population. People read these things and say, ‘wow, God/Muhamad/Brahma is brilliant. That – insert name of divine ruler here – really understood humans to give us those laws’. And everyone smiles, does a few hail Marys, or prayers to the east or whatever and goes about their lives. These laws keep piling up because people keep finding ‘legal loopholes’ to get past the divine word. I’m sure that you know of some yourself. In one part of your very country there is a sect of Jews that have a divine rule that says they are not allowed to leave their house on the sabbath. In modern times this became untenable, so they simply put a string around the entire town. Then they convince themselves that this in fact is their ‘home’, lie themselves into believing that this is ok with their divine leader, and go on about their lives.”

“Yes,” Mike said, “I’m aware of that group. It’s in Miami.”

“Humans spend every single day getting around rules that they have written themselves, so they can gain the things they want on a daily basis. You have an entire system that does nothing but make up laws, defend laws, prosecute those that break those laws, defend people on a technical basis so they can get away with breaking those laws, and imprison the ones that couldn’t afford the best excuse makers to get them off the hook. National, community and family laws are an everyday way of life that not only do humans simply accept, they wither and die without it.

“Now,” Serilda leaned forward and spread her hands apart, “let’s picture a species whose strongest sense is the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. This ability even supersedes its drive for survival. That society would look at laws, especially laws against murder, theft, rape, child molestation, et alia as inane. They couldn’t even begin to wrap their heads around the fact that there was a need for laws like this in the first place.