Домагой Курмаич - Mother of Learning

There was a long, uncomfortable silence as two of them refused to look at each other and sat there in silence.

"We’re going out on a date," Taiven suddenly declared.

Zorian gave her a weird look.

"But I’m over you," he pointed out. "That’s why I said I had a crush on you. It’s all in the past for me."

"Yeah, I figured," she said. "It doesn’t matter. We’re still having a date."

"Don’t I get any say in this?" Zorian asked, an amused smile on his face.

"What are you talking about," Taiven sniffed disdainfully. "You’re the one who asked me to a date. I’m just accepting your invitation… with a bit of a delay."

Zorian laughed at the uniquely Taiven logic.

"A bit of a delay, she says… You really are something," he said, shaking his head. "Fine. Have it your way."

"Good," she said simply, then looked away, as if too shy to meet his eyes.

Zorian smiled. He had been telling the truth, and he really didn’t have a crush for her any longer. Any romantic feeling he’d had for her had petered out during his long stay in the time loop.

But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t kind of glad about this.

He never really realized how beautiful Cyoria could be in the evening.

That was Zorian’s thought as he and Taiven wandered around Cyoria, checking up street stands and discussing casual topics. Most settlements grew dark and quiet as evening approached, giving off a dangerous and sinister atmosphere, but Cyoria was a major metropolis and this was the week before the summer festival. The streets were lively and well-illuminated, with lots of people wandering around and lots of street vendors setting up stands and trying to convince these people to part with their money for sweets, trinkets and so on.

Zorian would never have guessed that he would enjoy this kind of atmosphere. In the past, he had found occasions like this to be rather aggravating and avoided them whenever possible. Of course, in the past, Zorian would get headaches just from being in a crowd and he didn’t have a pretty girl to keep him company.

He gave a sideways glance to Taiven, who was walking beside him. Even though this was just a friendly date and not anything romantic, he couldn’t help but treat it fairly seriously. He had chosen to wear a fairly formal outfit for the evening, took her to an expensive restaurant and even invited her for a round of dance. He was initially worried he was taking things too far, but considering Taiven came to the date wearing a very expensive-looking dress and had kept her usual cheery disposition throughout the entire evening, he seemed to have made a good choice.

"I’ve got to say, this went a lot better than I thought it would," Taiven suddenly said. Zorian raised an eyebrow at her. "Wait, that came out kind of wrong. What I mean is… considering how bad both of us are at the social side of things… umm…"

Zorian gave her a faint smile and decided to save her from further awkwardness.

"It’s fine," he said. "I get your point. I’m also pleasantly surprised at how well this turned out. I guess we’re better at this than we thought."

"Well, in my case it’s mostly trial and error, so I can’t feel too proud about myself," Taiven laughed lightly. "I went to quite a few dates in the past. Plenty of guys get attracted to me for my looks and don’t quite comprehend what they’re getting into until they experience it firsthand. Trust me, my first date was a real disaster."

"Oh? You’ll have to tell me that story sometime," Zorian teased.

"No way," she said, giving him a playful shove and causing him to stumble to the side a little. He nearly crashed into an elderly couple walking past them, but managed to correct himself in time. "The less people know that story, the better. Hell, sometimes I wish I could forget that memory myself. But then I’d probably make the same mistakes all over again, so I guess it’s a good thing I can’t forget."

She frowned suddenly, staring at the night sky for a moment before giving him a curious look.

"What?" he prodded.

"What about you? Do you do this often?" she asked him.

"Do what often? Go on a date with you?" Zorian asked, amused.

"Well not with me," she said, rolling her eyes. "I mean in general. You’ve been in this time loop for years. Surely you’ve gone on a few dates in all that time."

"A few," Zorian admitted.

"Ha!" she said, pointing her finger at him triumphantly. "I knew it!"

Zorian opened his mouth to respond but Taiven immediately stopped him.

"Don’t you try and bewitch me with your honeyed words," she said in mock outrage. "I bet you tell them to every girl you pursue."

"But I haven’t even said anything yet," Zorian pointed out. "Really, I have no intention of justifying myself to you. Based on what you just told me about your dating experiences, you went to a lot more dates than I have. You heartbreaker."

They kept talking and meandering through the streets for a while longer, until eventually the conversation wound down and they both seemed to reach an unspoken agreement that it was getting late and that it was time for the date to end. Zorian couldn’t help but get progressively quieter and more contemplative as the date grew to a close.

They had been walking in silence for several minutes when Taiven decided to speak up again.

"What’s wrong?" Taiven asked. "Why did you get so depressed all of a sudden? Was it something I said?"

"Hm?" Zorian said, broken out of his reverie. "No, no. It’s not you. I’m just thinking. It’s… well, it’s probably for the best if I don’t tell you."

"Zorian, don’t make me hit you," she said warningly.

"Fine, if you insist…" Zorian said, giving her an awkward chuckle. "I was just thinking how utterly depressing it is that you will not remember anything that happened tonight in future restarts. We cleared the air between us, enjoyed a wonderful evening… and none of that will matter when the loop resets again. You will revert to the same suspicious, borderline hostile Taiven that I get at the start of every restart. It takes half of each restart just to convince you the time loop is real and that I haven’t been lying to you since I met you or been replaced by an imposter, nevermind anything else."

Taiven winced, looking away guiltily.

"No, don’t feel guilty," Zorian told her, shaking his head. "It’s a perfectly reasonable reaction. It’s one thing for old, experienced mages like Xvim, Alanic and Daimen to believe in the time loop. They’ve dealt with many complicated situations in their life and experienced plenty of strange magic. People like you and me? Well… did you know I spent the first six restarts going to classes like everything was just fine, hoping everything would return to normal if I just kept my head down and behaved like usual?"

Taiven gave him a surprised look.

"Yes, I know," Zorian nodded. "It’s kind of stupid, but that’s what I did. Your reaction is pretty good, all things considered. It’s just that I really like how this turned out, and yet… I realize this will probably forever remain an empty memory in my head. I can’t replicate the chain of events that led to this in the real world. I’m not even sure I can replicate it in future restarts. So I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I should do about this in the future."

A short, awkward silence descended on the scene, causing Zorian to wince a little inside at his own poor timing. Why did he insist on telling her this now? He just couldn’t let things end on a positive note, could he?

"Sorry," he said quietly.

He suddenly felt like he could understand some of Zach’s attitude towards people around them. Was this why Zach no longer bothered to actively befriend any of their classmates or friendly strangers, even though he clearly used to do so extensively in the past? The way Zorian was feeling this evening… perhaps this was how Zach felt all the time during his earlier years? Making friends and experiencing life changing moments with them over and over again, only for the other party to forget all about it in the next restart…