Orbit 2

Jim raised his hand. “Mrs. Chairman, I would like to nominate my wife for Grand Inquisitor. She can beat any lie detector that was ever invented.”

Dottie had a question. “How do we know what answers to give?”

“We answer as a group,” Helen said. “The Grand Inquisitor can ask all the questions he likes. But we can only answer in three ways: yes, no, or maybe. I’ll explain the details later. Now who’ll be Grand Inquisitor?”

“I hereby nominate Bill Backus for G.I.,” Clem said.

“Second the motion,” Jim said promptly.

“Bill analyzes this deep space stuff all day,” Clem said. “Ought to be easy for him.

“I’d love to be analyzed by Bill,” Dottie cried.

“Well, darling, I guess you’re Grand Inquisitor,” Helen said. “Now go out in the kitchen and wait there till Icall you.”

Bill shuffled out to the kitchen, where he began picking at the remains of the turkey. From the front room came snatches of conversation and bursts of stifled laughter, but he was unable to distinguish any words. His mind kept going back to Mac at the office. It was nearly eleven. He had hoped to hear from him by this time if he knew anything exciting. Probably the whole thing had collapsed and Mac was home in bed. He had half a notion to give him a ring when he heard Helen calling him, “All right, you can come now.”

Bill strode into the living room trying to assume the grim expression appropriate to a Grand Inquisitor. How to begin this crazy game? Try some questions of a general nature until he got a lead. *

“Has Clem landed that brassiere account yet?”

“No,” they responded in unison.

“Have Jim and Bernice run off together?”

“No.”

“Was it some sort of crime?”

“Yes.”.

“Was the crime committed in this city?”

“Maybe.”

“In this immediate area?”

“Yes.”

“Was it a murder?”

“No.”

“Something more ghastly?”

“Maybe.”

This was tougher than he had anticipated. Why had Helen ever gotten him into this thing? How to proceed? They were gazing at him expectantly. . gleefully..

“Was the person involved a man?”

“No.”

“A woman?”

“No.”

“An animal, then?”

“No.”

No? What on earth. .? A suspicion began to dawn.

Was it something on earth?

“Was the victim a creature from outer space?”

“Yes!”

On the trail at last!

“Was it a creature from Mars?”

“No.”

“Was it from Venus?”

“No.”

“Mercury?”

“Maybe.”

Not what he had expected, but keep on.

“Was it from Jupiter? Saturn? Uranus?”

“No! No! No!”

Well. . there weren’t many planets left. With elaborate casualness he inquired, “Did this creature, by any chance, come from Pluto?”

“Yes!” they shrieked.

At last!

“Is this Plutonian creature at present somewhere within the environs of this city?”

“Maybe.”

“So you don’t know?”

“Maybe.”

Perhaps it would help if he knew more about the creature itself.

“Have you seen this creature?”

“Yes.”

“Is it larger than man-size?”

“Yes.”

“Is this creature affected adversely by the heat?”

“No.”

A flash of inspiration.

“Is it in this house right now?”

“Maybe.”

They were hedging now.

“Is it in the basement?”

“No.”

“The attic?”

“No.”

“The refrigerator?”

“No.”

“Under the stairway?”

“Maybe.”

Relentlessly he pursued the phantom creature over the house. But despite his best efforts it eluded him. He fancied he detected a hint of scorn. . even contempt. . in their eyes. Suddenly he recalled Mac’s remark: The answer may be staring us right in the face. Only it’s so simple we can't see it.

Go back… see if he had overlooked anything.

“You said this creature is also an inhabitant of Mercury?”

“Maybe.”

“Then it is capable of withstanding a high temperature?”

“Yes.”

He was groping for the next question when the telephone rang. Mac!

“Don’t go. Be back in a minute.”

It was Mac, all right.

“Well, Bill, I think I’ve got the answer.” He sounded more relaxed. “But I’ll be darned if I know what it means.”

“Let me have it anyhow.”

“Remember those three big lines I said reminded me of something? You naturally assumed they were ultraviolet lines Doppler-shifted into the visible. Only you couldn’t identify ’em with anything in the UV. Neither could I. Wasted about two hours convincing myself of the fact.”

He took about a three count.

“So, since I was all alone, I decided to play a crazy hunch. Bill, do you know what those lines are?”

“How the hell—”

‘They’re those three big ionized calcium lines in the infrared.”

“Infrared!”

“This thing’s got a velocity of about 0.6c.”

“That wouldn’t give so much of a redshift.”

“Who said anything about a red shift? This is a violet shift. Bill, this thing is coming our way”

“Get out!”

“Fact!”

“Mac, you can’t screw up the whole universe that easy. Why, it contradicts everything we know. Besides, three lines aren’t enough. You could force an agreement… a pretty good agreement.”

“I’m sorry, Bill, but everything else fits, too. Your line at 3929 is 7699 of potassium. . 4494 is 8806 of magnesium. .”

“Mac, what does it mean?”

“From the geometry of the situation I would say it means there’s a dimple in the expanding universe in the direction of Draco.”

It was so long before he spoke again that Bill began to wonder if he’d hung up.

“I’m only giving you an answer, Bill. What it means is your problem.”

Bill found his guests in various stages of relaxation when he returned to the living room. It was hard to get his mind on Hillhurst again.

“I’m afraid it’s getting late,” Bernice said. “Clem and I have to be up early tomorrow. We’re driving to Carmel, you know.”

“Oh, don’t go,” Helen protested.

“It’s been such a lovely evening,” Dottie told her. “But really—”

“Now wait a minute,” Jim boomed, coming from the bathroom. “We’ve got to put the Grand Inquisitor straight first.”

“Sure do,” Clem chuckled. “Bill would toss all night.”

Jim shook his head regretfully. “Bill, old boy, I’m afraid the game was rigged.”

“Rigged?” He had only been half listening.

“You see,” Jim went on, “if the last letter in the last word of a question was a vowel we all answered yes. If it was a consonant we answered no. And if it was a W or Y we answered maybe.” He grinned. “Get it?”

It took a while.

“So I could have gone on asking questions forever,” Bill said slowly. “And you could have gone on giving me answers forever. And I’d never have known any more than in the beginning.”

“Afraid that’s about the size of it,” Jim said. He crunched out his cigar. “Well, Dottie, go get your costly mink. .”

Bill accompanied his guests to the door, dutifully went through the ritual of parting, and waved as they went down the driveway.

Back in the living room Helen gazed listlessly at the remains of the hors d’oeuvres and the cigarette trays. “No use cleaning up tonight, I guess.” She glanced at Bill standing by the north window. “What’s the matter? Aren’t you coming to bed?”

“I believe I’ll stay down here for a while,” he told her.