Терри Биссон - The Left Left Behind

July 11th, 1954.

It’s almost like having a private secretary, isn’t it? But we met once before. You came backstage, after Othello. It was such an honor! I must say, that play made me more nervous than anything I did.

It didn’t show on stage, Paul. But I always loved your music more.

Music. You call Soviet marching songs music? And darkie spirituals?

Yes, sir! I do—or did. Say, Albert, are we in the past tense here? Or the present?

I’m not sure, Paul. Quite frankly I’m a little surprised that all this worked. It was just a theory, running through my head when I died. One of my regrets was that I hadn’t spent another afternoon with you. And the other was that I never achieved the Unified Field theory. But apparently…

Apparently what? You have suspended the laws of Space and Time? On what authority?

Authority. Always authority. I see what you mean, Albert. He’s sort of entertaining.

I’ll thank you not to refer to me in the third person. I’m here—just as strangely, I admit. But just as much here as you are.

And just as unsuitable for polite company as ever.

(back to EINSTEIN) So this is the result of your theory? Bringing three old men back from the dead?

Only for an afternoon. And it’s not a theory, really, but a singularity, as I said. A onetime event.

Well, I thank you for inviting me. I guess Genius has its privileges.

Genius! You know, Paul, I always felt that what the world called genius was just ei-gensinn , stubbornness. I never quit working on the Unified Field. I guess this is a reward of sorts. (dreamily) I admit I was tempted to use it for an afternoon of sailing alone—

Yes, that was always your great pleasure.

But death is so much like sailing alone.

It is, isn’t it? And I never even sailed before. (looks around) But say, what are all these young folks doing here?

I don’t know. It looks like some kind of protest.

Ah! A protest! Excellent!

HOOVER perks up and starts looking around, gimlet-eyed. EINSTEIN tries to get the attention of a passing young woman but she ignores him.

It’s CLAIRE, barefoot, in a long dress. ROBESON grabs her sleeve.

Excuse me, young lady. What exactly are you protesting?

Why, everything. Oh, you mean me in particular?

(suddenly flirtatious, responding to his charisma) It’s to free Mumia. To free Palestine. To free political prisoners. To pull out of Iraq. For gay rights. To save affirmative action and social security. Global warming—

Other young activists notice and gather around: WILL, from before; MALCOLM, a young Black man with dreads; and DOUG, a gay guy in an ACT-UP tank top and beads.

Palestine? Isn’t it Israel now?

(still fixated on ROBESON) We’ve pulled together a hundred groups. It’s not every day that Bush comes to New Jersey.

Who’s this Bush?

President Bush. Where’ve you been?

Young man, you don’t want to know.

(stepping forward, suspicious)Say, what’s this all about? Who are you guys?

They’re with Einstein there. He’s Annie’s grandpa. Right?

(suspicious)I don’t think so.

Annie’ll be here soon. We can ask her. But I think she said her grandfather was in the old folks home.

I mean, a nursing home. A senior center.

Sailing alone around the world.

Say, this is too weird. Where’d these guys come from? (to WILL) I thought they were with you.

They’re not with me!

Maybe they’re police spies.

Bingo.

Whoa! He’s up to his old tricks. Sowing division and distrust.

ROBESON stands up, suddenly filling the stage. Other young people gather around, joining the group.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are not police agents. Far from it. Except for him, and he’s currently, happily, unemployed. And not really part of our party.

You can say that again.

We’re here not to hinder but to help you. We were activists ourselves in our own day. Quite active, in fact.

That’s what they all say. Hell, that’s what my parents say.

Maybe you should listen to your parents, son. At any rate, we were brought here today by the good offices of this gentleman.

The man this man (points to WILL) called Einstein actually is Albert Einstein.

No way!

He does look like him. (bends down, as if talking to a child) What does E equal?

I always made it a policy never to memorize anything that could be easily looked up.

It’s MC squared and he knows it! He’s having fun with you. This is Albert Einstein, the world’s most famous scientist.

Not any more, Paul, surely. At least one would hope not.

His genius brought us all here. Haven’t you kids heard of Relativity?

CLAIRE turns and runs up the back stairs into the house, as if she just remembered something important.

Not possible. Einstein is dead.

Not an impossibility but an improbability, for sure. That’s the problem with Quantum Theory. Improbabilities keep cropping up.

(examines his hands) But I must admit, I’m getting won over to it at last.

Not only a great scientist but a great humanitarian, as well. We worked together on many campaigns, starting with the Spanish Civil War.

Spanish Civil War?

Actually long before that, Paul. I was proud to be a co-signer with you of several petitions concerning the Scottsboro Boys.

The who boys? Sounds like a rap group.

Or a bluegrass group.

Nigger rapists, Commie dupes.