Lois Bujold: Mirror Dance

Time was he had worn uniforms like a turtle-shell of high-grade social protection over the vulnerable peculiarities of his body. An armor of belonging that said, Don’t mess with me. I have friends. When had he stopped needing that so desperately? He was not sure.

For that matter, when had he stopped hating his body? It had been two years since his last serious injury, on the hostage rescue mission that had come right after that incredible mess with his brother on Earth. He’d been fully recovered for quite some time. He flexed his hands, full of plastic replacement bones, and found them as easily his own as before they were last crunched. As before they were ever crunched. He hadn’t had an osteo-inflammatory attack in months. I’m feeling no pain, he realized with a dark grin. And it wasn’t just Quinn’s doing, though Quinn had been … very therapeutic. Am I going sane in my old age?

Enjoy it while you can. He was twenty-eight years old, and surely at some sort of physical peak. He could feel that peak, the exhilarating float of apogee. The descending arc was a fate for some future day.

Voices from the comm booth brought him back to the present moment. Quinn had Sandy Hereld on the other end, and was saying, “Hi, I’m back.”

“Hi, Quinnie, I was expecting you. What can I do for you?” Sandy had been doing strange things to her hair, again, Miles noted even from his offsides vantage.

“I just got off the jumpship, here at the transfer station. Planning a little detour. I want transport downside to pick up the Red Squad survivors, then back to the Triumph. What’s their current status?”

“Hold tight, I’ll have it in a second …” Lieutenant Hereld punched up data on a display to her left.

In the crowded concourse a man in Dendarii greys walked past. He saw Miles, and gave him a hesitant, cautious nod, perhaps uncertain if the Admiral’s civilian gear indicated some sort of cover. Miles returned a reassuring wave, and the man smiled and strode on. Miles’s brain kicked up unwanted data. The man’s name was Travis Gray, he was a field tech currently assigned to the Peregrine, a six-year-man so far, expert in communications equipment, he collected classic pre-Jump music of Earth origin … how many such personnel files did Miles carry in his head, now? Hundreds? Thousands?

And here came more. Hereld turned back, and rattled off, “Ives was released to downside leave, and Boyd has been returned to the Triumph for further therapy. The Beauchene Life Center reports that Durham, Vifian, and Aziz are available for release, but they want to talk to someone in charge, first.”

“Right-oh.”

“Kee and Zelaski … they also want to talk about.”

Quinn’s lips tightened. “Right,” she agreed flatly. Miles’s belly knotted, just a little. That was not going to be a happy conversation, he suspected. “Let them know we’re on our way, then,” Quinn said.

“Yes, Cap’n.” Hereld shuffled files on her vid display. “Will do. Which shuttle do you want?”

“The Triumph’s smaller personnel shuttle will do, unless you have some cargo to load on at the same time from the Beauchene shuttleport.”

“None from there, no.”

“All right.”

Hereld checked her vid. “According to Escobaran flight control, I can put Shuttle Two into docking bay J-26 in thirty minutes. You’ll be cleared for immediate downside departure.”

“Thanks. Pass the word—there’ll be a captain and captain-owner’s briefing when we get back. What time is it at Beauchene?”

Hereld glanced aside. “0906, out of a 2607 hour day.”

“Morning. Great. What’s the weather down there?”

“Lovely. Shirtsleeves.”

“Good, I won’t have to change. We’ll advise when we’re ready to depart Port Beauchene. Quinn out.”

Miles sat on the duffle, staring down at his sandals, awash in unpleasant memories. It had been one of the Dendarii Mercenaries’ sweatier smuggling adventures, putting military advisors and material down on Marilac in support of its continuing resistance to a Cetagandan invasion. Combat Drop Shuttle A-4 from the Triumph had been hit by enemy fire on the last trip up-and-out, with all of Red Squad and several important Marilacans aboard. The pilot, Lieutenant Durham, though mortally injured and in shock himself, had brought his crippled and burning shuttle into a sufficiently low-velocity crunch with the Triumph’s docking clamps that the rescue team was able to seal on an emergency flex tube, slice through, and retrieve everyone aboard. They’d managed to jettison the damaged shuttle just before it exploded, and the Triumph itself broke orbit barely ahead of serious Cetagandan vengeance. And so a mission that had started out simple, smooth, and covert ended yet again in the sort of heroic chaos that Miles had come to despise. The chaos, not the heroism.

The score, after heartbreaking triage: twelve seriously injured; seven, beyond the Triumph’s resources for resuscitation, cryogenically frozen in hope of later help; three permanently and finally dead. Now Miles would find out how many of the second category he must move to the third. The faces, names, hundreds of unwanted facts about them, cascaded through his mind. He had originally planned to be aboard that last shuttle, but instead had gone up on an earlier flight to deal with some other forest fire… .

“Maybe they won’t be so bad,” Quinn said, reading his face. She stuck out her hand, and he pulled himself up off the duffle and gathered up his flight bag.

“I’ve spent so much time in hospitals myself, I can’t help identifying with them,” he excused his dark abstraction. One perfect mission. What he wouldn’t give for just one perfect mission, where absolutely nothing went wrong. Maybe the one upcoming would finally be it.

The hospital smell hit Miles immediately when he and Quinn walked through the front doors of the Beauchene Life Center, the cryotherapy specialty clinic the Dendarii dealt with on Escobar. It wasn’t a bad smell, not a stench by any means, just an odd edge to the air-conditioned atmosphere. But it was an odor so deeply associated with pain in his experience, he found his heart beating faster. Fight or flight. Not appropriate. He breathed deeply, stroking down the visceral throb, and looked around. The lobby was much in the current style of techno-palaces anywhere on Escobar, clean but cheaply furnished. The real money was all invested upstairs, in the cryo-equipment, regeneration laboratories, and operating theaters.

One of the clinic’s senior partners, Dr. Aragones, came down to greet them and escort them upstairs to his office. Miles liked Aragones’ office, crammed with the sort of clutter of info disks, charts, and journal-flimsie offprints that indicated a technocrat who thought deeply and continuously about what he was doing. He liked Aragones himself, too, a big bluff fellow with bronze skin, a noble nose, and graying hair, friendly and blunt.

Dr. Aragones was unhappy not to be reporting better results. It hurt his pride, Miles judged.

“You bring us such messes, and want miracles,” he complained gently, shifting in his station chair after Miles and Quinn settled themselves. “If you want to assure miracles, you have to start at the very beginning, when my poor patients are first prepared for treatment.”

Aragones never called them corpsicles, or any of the other nervous nicknames coined by the soldiers. Always my patients. That was another thing Miles liked about the Escobaran physician.

“In general—unfortunately—our casualties don’t arrive on a scheduled, orderly, one-by-one basis,” Miles half-apologized in turn. “In this case we had twenty-eight people hit sickbay, with every degree and sort of injury—extreme trauma, burns, chemical contamination—all at once. Triage got brutal, for a little while, till things sorted out. My people did their best.” He hesitated. “Do you think it would be worth our while to re-certify a few of our medtechs in your latest techniques, and if so, would you be willing to lead the seminar?”