Robert Asprin - Myth-ion Improbable

What would I do if I got to the cliff face and they weren't there, which was likely? It would be almost dark by then and I would have to spend the night out in the wild. And, for some reason, that idea didn't sit well.

And what would I do if they never came back here? Should I head for the city with the golden cow in it? I remembered enough from the map that the city's name was Dodge. I could work my way there, given time.

I'd make that decision if Aahz and Tanda didn't come back, Right now I just needed to make sure Aahz and Tanda could find me when they did get here. This little town was where they had left me; this was where I was going to stay. At least for the immediate future, however long that might be. If Glenda had managed to do something awful to Aahz and Tanda, I would face that problem later. Much later. And somehow make sure Glenda paid for her sins.

With one last look at the empty road, I turned and headed bac k to Audry's. At least there I could sit in the window and watch the street without being obvious.

The music was still coming from what looked like a piano, even though the place was empty. The guy behind the bar smiled at me, then frowned when Glenda didn't follow me in the door.

I decided I needed to have him on my side. I walked up to the bar.

"Has my friend been back here yet?"

"No," he said. "You ain't found her?" There was instant worry in his question.

"Haven't seen her since I left here earlier," I said. "Been walking the length of your fine town looking for her."

"I was a wonderin' what you were doin'," he said. "Can't imagine what might have happened to her, though. The full moon is still a few days off, so the round-up couldn't have taken her. At least not yet."

I desperately wanted to ask him what the full moon had to do with anything, and what a round-up was, but he said both so matter-of-factly that I knew I would blow my cover if I asked.

"Yeah, couldn't be that." I said instead.

"She was askin' about horses," he said. "Maybe she got one and headed down the road?"

I shook my head. "I checked. She didn't. Mind if I just sit over there and wait?"

"Not at all," he said, reaching down and grabbing a glass. Before I could think of a reason to stop him that sounded good, he poured me another glass of the carrot juice.

"On me," he said, sliding the glass toward me across the bar. "Just tell your friend when you see her that she still owes me a surprise."

"Oh, trust me," I said. "When she promises a surprise, she always pays off."

He didn't know how truthful that statement was.

He beamed at that and I took my glass of juiced carrots and went over and sat down so I could see out the window. The shadows were growing long and the heat was leaving the main street of Evade. It looked as if the nights in this area were pretty chilly. I was glad I hadn't decided to go up to the cliffs just for that reason.

Let alone whatever a round-up was.

I took a sip of the carrot juice just to quench my thirst, than sat back and watched the few people still out on the street. They all seemed to have tasks and walked purposefully, tip­ping their hats to each other.

An hour later I had managed to sip down almost half a glass of the juice.

My bartender friend was looking a little worried, and the shadows were almost completely across the street. I figured there wasn't much more than a half-hour until sunset.

"I'm afraid I got to close up, you know," he said finally after pacing back and forth a few times near the bar. "You got a place to bunk for the night?"

I assumed bunk meant sleep, so I said, "No, haven't given it much thought."

He looked shocked. It was as if I'd told him I'd killed his mother. His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, but no words came out.

One of the main buildings right in the center of town had a sign on it that said Hotel Evade, so I tried to cover.

"Just figuring on stopping in the hotel. Sure hope they got rooms, now that you mention it."

He looked relieved. "I'm sure they do," he said. "That's the law."

He laughed and I laughed with him, even though I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Thanks for the drink," I said, sliding the glass across the table to him and standing. "I guess it is getting dark enough for me to get going." The promise of me leaving had him back to his old happy self.

"I'm sure your friend will get inside all right," he said, "Maybe she's already at the hotel. When you see her tomorrow, bring her by here for breakfast."

"It'll be my pleasure," I said. "And your surprise." He laughed. I laughed.

Then I stepped out onto the sidewalk. He slammed and latched the door behind me, bolting it as if a thousand thugs were going to try to break it down. Then the shutters on the inside of the window closed.

The shadows were long on the street and there wasn't a person in sight anywhere. Every window was shuttered, every door closed. The sound of music that had come from a few different establishments was now replaced by the silence of the coming darkness. My stomach started to clamp up, not from the little bit of carrot juice, but from worry. Something very major happened at night on this dimension. I didn't know what it might be, but it was something that made this town bolt its doors and get off the street before the sun went down. And if I was smart, I would do the same thing.

I walked to the end of town and looked up the road toward the rock cliffs. In the fading light there wasn't a soul on the road. Finding Aahz and Tanda would have to wait until tomorrow.

But I had a feeling that, with every hour, finding them was going to become less and less likely.

I turned and headed down the sidewalk toward the hotel. The door was closed and shutters were covering the win dows, but when I pounded a very nice woman behind the desk let me in. She didn't ask for anything, or even suggest some thing I could do to pay for my room. She just said it was lucky I got it when I did, then showed me a comfortable room on the second floor with a window that was bolted dosed and the shutters drawn tight.

There was a bed, a small water basin on a dresser, and an indoor toilet down the hall.

I thanked her and she went away.

I checked to see if I could open the shutters, but they were secured solidly. Whatever was going to happen tonight, I wasn't going to be able to see it from this window.

I lay down on the fairly comfortable bed, not even bother ing to take off my clothes.

Images of Tanda and Aahz floated through my mind. If Glenda had done something to them on Vortex #6 there wasn't a darn thing I could do to help. I was stuck here, without the ability to hop dimensions, in a world where everyone ate vegetables and was afraid to go out at night.

Even though there wasn't a sound from outside, it was a very long and sleepless night in that little room.

"You can't go home again."

PRINCESS LEIA

At the first sign of light through the shutters, I went downstairs. The sun was barely up, the shadows still long in the street, yet the front door to the hotel was wide open and all the shutters on the windows had been retracted. These people didn't like the night, that was for sure. I desperately wanted to ask them what they were afraid of, but there just wasn't a way to ask the question without giving away the fact that I didn't belong here, in this dimension. And at the moment I had enough problems to face without bringing more down on my head. Aahz had always told me to solve one thing at a time.

The problem I had right now was that I wasn't sure I could solve any of my problems.

I went down the street to Audry's, tipping my hat to the guy with the shovel who was back in the street picking up after the horses. My old bartender friend and employer from yesterday had the door to Audry's open and the shutters retracted. I was the first customer.