Orson Card - Magic Street

"Got hemorrhoids?" asked Yolanda. She grinned at him.

What an appalling woman. "No," said Word.

"I was joking," said Yolanda. "Don't any of you people have a sense of humor?"

"You people?" echoed Word, incredulous at such a racist remark coming from a black woman.

"Word," said Mack, "by 'you people' she means 'mortals.' She's... uh... she's a fairy."

Word felt a trembling in his spine. "Lady, I salute thee," said Word. He had no idea why he had said it. His mouth no longer belonged to him.

She looked at him steadily. Warily. "I also wish thee good health, sir."

"So you've found somebody you love better than me?" Word said.

He covered his mouth. Why would he have said such a thing?

"Baby," said Yolanda, "I love everybody better than you."

The invisible hand let go of his spine. "I'll perform your wedding," said Word. This time the words were his own. "As long as you don't try to assert it in court."

"Well, I wouldn't dream of asserting my wedding. All right if I attend it?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way," said Word. And then more words came unbidden to his lips:

"O Titania, dosvidanya."

"Cute," said Yolanda. "Now we're Russian?"

"What are you doing, Word?" asked Mack. "You two know each other?"

"Only as I know the soul of every wanton woman," said Word's mouth.

"I'm the one wantin' to get married," said Mack. "She's just... willing."

Word swallowed hard, trying to resist saying any words that came to him from his possessor.

But his mouth belonged to him again. "I'll do it," he said. "When?"

"Right now?" asked Mack.

"Want witnesses?" asked Word.

"Yes," said Mack.

"No," said Yolanda.

"How about a compromise?" said Word. "Let's bring in Rev Theo."

"Won't he try to stop us?" asked Mack.

"Not today," said Word. "Today I have carte blanche."

"Oooh," said Yolanda. "Another language."

Word stepped to the door and called out to Rev Theo.

"Thanks for letting me back into my office today," said Theo with a wink. "Glad to see you being so respectful to your mother," he said to Mack.

Mack looked around. "This isn't my mother, sir. This is the woman I'm going to marry."

Rev Theo looked back and forth between them. "I think there's an age disparity, my children.

Plus you look too young, son."

"That's why we want Word to marry us," said Mack. "Because he doesn't have any authority.

So it's not really a marriage."

"So why bother doing it."

"Because she needs to sleep with me," said Mack.

"More than they need to know," murmured Yolanda.

Word didn't think it was funny, and yet a laugh came unbidden to his throat. A deep, hearty laugh, and it went on and on.

"There's more than one way to possess a changeling, my love," said Yolanda. This really confused Rev Theo, since she said it to Word.

"Word," said Rev Theo, "have you and this woman been carrying on?"

"Just met for the first time," said Word. "We only wanted you as a witness to this extralegal wedding. You need to be a witness that I didn't promise them it would be binding."

So the wedding proceeded, with Word twisting around the words of the standard ceremony to reflect their real situation. He specifically denied having any authority. And when he said the part about does anybody know any reason these two should not get married, he added, "I mean, besides me."

Rev Theo raised his hand. "Well, there you go," said Word. "It's a tie. Two of us think this is a

"Man and wife," said Mack. "Say 'man and wife.' "

It sounded like Mack was quoting. "Is that from something?" asked Word.

"Princess Bride," said Mack. Then he felt stupid for having made a joke during his wedding.

But then, they were treating the wedding as a joke. Everybody but him.

"I thought I recognized it," said Word. And, obediently, he cut to the chase, asking them whether, and they answered that they did, and then he pronounced them man and wife in the eyes of God but definitely not the eyes of the law. "Which means it's still having sex with a minor," he pointed out to Yolanda.

"Planning to tell on me?" she asked him. "Let's tell everybody."

"I'm just asking that you not do it right here in front of me."

"You have my word," she said. Then winked. A punster. How swell. "Of course, you'll have to cooperate by leaving the room."

She turned to Rev Theo, who still looked more than a little appalled at what had just happened inside his office. "Don't you two have work to do now?" she asked. Then she touched his shoulder.

"Yes—my associate pastor here, Word Williams, needs to prepare another sermon for tonight."

"So you don't mind if we stay and consummate our marriage vows here in your office?"

"What?" said Mack.

"We don't have a lot of time, and there isn't a decent motel within easy walking distance," she explained.

"Why, that's no problem," said Rev Theo. "Just don't spill anything on my couch." And with that, Rev Theo smiled, winked at Mack, and left the room.

Word couldn't understand why Rev Theo would act like that. These people had just asked him if they could have sex in his office and he didn't bat an eye. "Who are you?" he asked Yolanda.

She smiled at him. "The part of you that knows, doesn't need to be told, and the part of you that needs to be told, doesn't need to know."

Mack walked to the window and looked out onto the shabby street, where people were already lined up for the evening's service. "I don't think we'll need this room, so don't worry, Word."

"What do you mean?" Yolanda asked him.

Mack turned around with tears in his eyes. "This is nothing to you," he said to her. "But it's everything to me."

"It is very important, but I'm not."

"You're the only man I've ever married. Partly."

"I don't remember you ever loving me," said Mack. "And you sure as hell don't love me now."

"But I do," said Yolanda. "I love you with all my heart."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you have a very limited view of things," said Yolanda. "And, at this particular moment, so do I. What I'm wondering is, are you planning to let your limited view make my limited view permanent?"

"What's going on here?" asked Word.

Yolanda turned to him and shook her head. "Word, the part of you that doesn't understand doesn't need to know, and—"

"Oh, shut up," said Word, and he left the room. Whatever they were doing in there was none of his business. If it didn't bother Rev Theo, it didn't bother him.

There was magic in this. And Yolanda seemed to know all about the change in him. Talking about a part of him this and a part of him that.

Whatever possessed him was not God. It was more like Bag Man. It was about babies being born after a one-hour pregnancy. It was about an old man reaching out to be healed by a fourteen-year-old boy who had no idea what he was doing. It was about his father finding all his poems spread all over the internet and getting reviewed scornfully—the old man was almost catatonic, refusing to go to the office, and Mother was staying with him all day because she was afraid he might kill himself.

It was about magic and evil and not Jesus' healing power.

Yet the people who were blessed last night were truly blessed. There was no trick in it. Not like what happened in Baldwin Hills.

The rumors were flying all over the neighborhood about Ophelia McCallister in her husband's grave and Sherita Banks being transported to a gang bang. And Sabrina Chum had a hideous fast-growing cancer removed from her nose. The doctors said that if it hadn't been discovered till morning, it would have spread so far through her nose that the whole thing would have had to be removed. And Madeline Tucker was spreading around what Ceese told her—that Mack Street saw these people's dreams and knew that something bad was happening and saved them.