Jack Vance - MADOUC

"Now then!" said King Throbius. "We will proceed. Madouc, for you this must be a happy occasion! Soon you will be able to claim one of these three for your beloved father."

Madouc dubiously considered the possibilities. "Sir Jaucinet undoubtedly boasts the best pedigree; still I cannot believe that I am related to someone who looks like a sick sheep."

"All will be made known," said King Throbius confidently. He looked to right and left. "Osfer! Where are you?"

"I have expected your call, Your Highness! I stand directly behind your royal back."

"Come forward, Osfer, into the purview of my eyes. We must exercise your craft. Madouc's paternity is in question and we must definitely resolve the issue."

Osfer stepped forward: a fairy of middle maturity, brown of skin and gnarled of limb, with eyes of amber and a nose which hooked almost to meet an up-jutting chin. "Sire, your orders?"

"Go to your workshop; return with dishes of Matronian nephrite, to the number of five; bring probers, nitsnips, and a gill of your Number Six Elixir."

"Your Highness, I presumed to anticipate your commands, and I already have these items at hand."

"Very good, Osfer. Order your varlets to bring hither a table; let it be spread with a cloth of gray murvaille."

"The order has been effected, Sire. The table stands ready at he your left hand."

King Throbius turned to inspect the arrangements. "Well done, Osfer. Now then: bring out your best extractor; we shall need fibrils of coming and going. When all is ready, we will contrive our matrices."

"In minutes only, Your Highness! I move with the speed of flashing nymodes when urgency is the call!"

"Do so now! Madouc is hard-put to restrain her eagerness; it is as if she were dancing upon thorns."

"A pathetic case, to be sure," said Osfer. "But soon indeed she will be able to embrace her father."

In a subdued voice Madouc spoke to King Throbius: "Enlighten me, Your Highness! How will you prove the case?"

"Be attentive; all will be made known. Twisk, why are you so exercised?"

"Osfer is molesting me!"

"Not so, Your Highness! You were about to order matrices; I had already started to apply the drain to Twisk."

"Of course. Twisk, we must have three minims of your blood; be stoic."

"I am loth to endure these martyrdoms! Is it truly needful?"

King Throbius made a meaningful sign; hissing between her teeth Twisk gingerly allowed Osfer to ply his instruments. He took a quantity of blood from her slender wrist, which he then discharged into one of the nephrite dishes. By processes too swift for Madouc to follow, he used the blood to nurture a fragile construction of fibers and small blue, red and green plasms.

Osfer turned proudly to King Throbius. "It is perfection in all respects! Each quirk and phase of Twisk's somewhat devious nature are open for inspection."

"You have done well." King Throbius turned to Madouc. "Now it is your turn; from your blood Osfer will grow a matrix that is yours alone."

Madouc cried out between clenched teeth. "My turn has come and gone! He has already done his worst to me!"

Presently a matrix somewhat similar to that derived from Twisk appeared on a second plate.

"Next, let us try Sir Jaucinet!" said King Throbius. "Soon we shall see who is father to whom!"

Osfer drew blood from Sir Jaucinet's nerveless arm and constructed the matrix peculiar to the lord of Castle Cloud.

King Throbius turned to Madouc. "There you see three matrices, representing the innate fabric of yourself, your mother, Twisk, and this noble knight. By the most subtle means, Osfer will now subtract the influence of Twisk from your matrix, to create a new matrix. If your father is Sir Jaucinet, the new matrix will be identical to his, and you will know the truth of your paternity. Osfer, you may proceed."

"Sire, I have completed the operation. Behold the two matrices!"

"I assume they are identical?" said King Throbius.

"Not at all, and in no particular!"

"Aha!" said King Throbius. "So much for Sir Jaucinet; he may be excused. Liberate him from your thrall, Madouc; bid him be on his way."

Madouc obeyed the instruction. Sir Jaucinet gave instant vent to peevish complaints, and demanded reasons for the many inconveniences to which he had been put.

"I can give you no easy response," said Madouc. "It is a long and detailed story."

"What of the frogs in my mustache?" demanded Sir Jaucinet. "Is their presence such a complicated affair?"

"Not altogether," Madouc admitted. "Still, King Throbius has ordered your departure, and you had best hurry, since the afternoon is waning and the way is long."

Sir Jaucinet, his expression one of deep chagrin, turned on his heel. "Wait!" called King Throbius. "Osfer, apply the ‘Four-fold Spell' to speed good Sir Jaucinet on his journey."

"Indeed, Sire, while he conferred with Madouc, I applied the ‘Six-fold Spell'," said Osfer.

"Good work, Osfer!" King Throbius spoke to Sir Jaucinet:

"As you march home, each of your strides will carry you six yards, and you will arrive at Castle Cloud well before you expected."

Sir Jaucinet bowed stiffly; first to King Throbius and then to Osfer. For Madouc he spared only a glance of moist-eyed reproach; then he was gone, bounding across Madling Meadow on six-fold strides, and was soon lost to sight.

King Throbius turned to Osfer. "Now then: let us deal with the peasant Nisby."

"Sire, you will note on this dish the matrix of Nisby, which I have already taken the liberty of constructing."

Madouc went to look. To her dismay, Nisby's matrix resembled her not at all, and everyone agreed that her paternity surely resided elsewhere than with Nisby. Glumly Madouc liberated him from his nerveless apathy; Osfer applied the ‘Six-fold Spell' and Nisby was sent on his way.

King Throbius addressed Madouc in a somber voice: "My dear, I have taken your interest to heart, and I cannot say that I am pleased with our findings. You have been sired neither by Sir Jaucinet nor by Nisby; hence, we are left with this shadowy weirdling with vacancy for a face. The Third Statute of Logic, sometimes known as the ‘Law of Exclusion', forces me to declare him your father. You may liberate him and hold your reunion at whatever time and place suits your best convenience; no doubt you will have much to tell each other."

Madouc cried out in a troubled voice: "Your logic is naturally superb, but should we not also test this creature's matrix?"

King Throbius spoke to Osfer: "What is your opinion?"

"I suggest a third matrix, if only to create a philosophical symmetry."

King Throbius said: "I am not opposed, though the test will be redundant. However, you may approach Madouc's father, draw three minims of blood and erect a matrix for all to see."

Osfer gingerly approached the black-cloaked figure, then halted in bafflement.

King Throbius called out: "Why do you delay? We are anxious to demonstrate Madouc's paternity!"

"I am in a quandary," said Osfer. "He wears cloak, boots and gloves; he lacks neck, face and scalp. In order to draw his blood, I must remove the cloak, and expose his person. Shall I proceed?"

"Proceed, by all means!" commanded King Throbius.

"Ordinarily we would respect his modesty, but delicacy must be put aside, along with the cloak. Madouc, you may avert your eyes if you wish."

"I will see what needs to be seen," said Madouc. She ignored Sir Pom-Pom's disparaging snort. "Continue with the work."

Osfer, with little fingers extended, in the manner of a fastidious tailor, unclasped the buckle at the neck of the cloak, which then fell somewhat apart. Osfer looked into the gap and gave a startled exclamation. With a single sweep he drew the cloak aside, to reveal a squat gray-faced troll with a bottle nose, pendulous cheeks and eyes like small balls of black glass. His arms were long and knotted; his splayed legs were thrust into tall boots. Osfer cried out: "It is Mangeon the troll!"