Robert Heinlein - The Number of the Beast

"Jacob? Anything you need?"

"No, Captain. Let's go!"

"We will, dear. Deety, did you give Zebbie a schedule?"

"The one you planned. Not Barsoom, just fun. Two hours."

"Astrogator, take the conn. Carry out schedule."

"Aye aye, Ma'am. Gay Deceiver."

"Hi, Zeb. This is great! Whyinhell did you lobotomize me?"

"Because I'm stupid. Random walk, Gay-transitions, translations, rotations, vectors, under all safety rules. Two hours. Five-second stops subject to 'Hold' from any of us."

"May I place a 'Hold' myself?"

"Captain?"

I resorted to sophistry. "Astrogator, you said 'any of us'-which includes Gay."

"Gay, paraphrase acknowledge."

"I shall make unplanned excursions of all sorts with five-second pause at each vertex, plus 'Hold' option, plus safety restrictions, for two hours, then return here. Assumption: Program subject to variation by Captain or surrogate. Assumption confirmed?"

I was astonished. Deety had told me that Gay would sound almost alive if Zebbie used her full potential... but Gay sounded more alive, more alert, than she had in Oz.

"Assumption confirmed," Zebbie answered. "Execute!"

For ten minutes-one hundred thirteen shifts-we had a "slide show" of universes from commonplace to weird beyond comprehension, when suddenly Gay told herself "Hold!" and added, "Ship ahoy!"

"Private Yacht Dora," she was answered. "Is that you, Gay? What took you so long?"

I said, "Astrogator, I have the conn." I was startled and scared. But a captain commands-or admits she can't cut it and jumps overboard. A captain can be wrong-she cannot be uncertain.

Gay was saying rapidly: "Captain, I am not transmitting. I advise asking for Dora's captain. I have transmitted: 'Yes, this is Gay, Dora. I'm not late; we took the scenic route. Pipe down, girl, and put your skipper on.' Captain, the mike is yours; they can't hear me or any other voice inside me."

"Thank you, Gay. Captain Hilda, master of Gay Deceiver, hailing Private Yacht Dora. Captain of Dora, please come in."

In our central display appeared a face. We do not have television. This picture was flat rather than 3-D and not in color, just the greenish bright of radar. Nevertheless, it was a. face, and lip movements matched words. "I'm Captain Long, Captain Hilda. We've been expecting you. Will you come aboard?"

("Come aboard?"! So this is what comes of running around the universes in a modified duo, without so much as a pressure suit.) "Thank you, Captain Long, but I can't accept. No air locks."

"We anticipated that, Captain. Dora's radius-nine-oh hold has been modified for Gay Deceiver. If you will do us the honor, we will take you inboard. Your wings are raked back, are they not? Hypersonic?"

"Yes."

"I will move slowly, become dead in space with respect to you, then reorient and move to surround you as gently as a kiss."

"If the Captain pleases- It is my duty t~ advise her if I see a mistake in prospect."

I barely whispered. "Zebbie, you're advising me not to?"

"Hell, no," he answered aloud, secure in the knowledge that his voice would be filtered out. "Do it! What do we have to lose? Aside from our lives. And we're sort o' used to that."

I answered, "Captain Long, you may take us inboard."

"Thank you, Captain. The Dora will arrive in-I'm sorry; what time units do you use?"

Deety interrupted: "Gay, let my voice through. Captain Long-"

"Yes. You are not Captain Hilda?"

"I'm Deety. We call our units 'seconds.' These are seconds: one... two... three....our... five... six... seven... eight-"

"Synchronized! We call ours 'Galactic seconds' or simply 'seconds' but about three percent longer than yours. Dora will be almost touching your bow in,...ifty-seven of your seconds."

Spooky- Blackness blotting out stars, getting bigger. As it began to surround us, Jacob switched on forward grounding lights; we were entering a tunnel-being envaginated by it-with great precision and no apparent power-and it was clear that this enormous sheath was designed to fit us, even to alcoves for Gay's doors. Shortly we were abreast them-cheerful to see that they were lighted. Oddest, we now seemed to be under gravity-perhaps midway between that of Earth-zero and Mars-ten.

"Outer doors closing," came Captain Long's voice. "Closed and sealing. Pres

sure adjusting. Captain, we use nitrogen and oxygen, four to one, plus carbon dioxide sufficient to maintain breathing reflex. If content or pressure does not suit you, please tell me."

"The mix described will suit us, Captain."

"Don't hesitate to complain. Pressure equalized. Debark either side, but I am on your starboard side, with my sister."

I squirmed past Deety in order to introduce my family. Just as well, it gave me a chance to see them first. None of us can be shocked by skin but we can be surprised. But I've been practicing not showing surprise since grammar school as a major defense of my persona.

Here were two shapely young women, one with four stripes on each shoulder (painted? decals?), the other in three stripes-plus friendly smiles. "I'm Captain Long," said the one with four stripes.

"-and her mutinous crew," echoed the other.

"Commander Laurie, my twin sister."

"Only we aren't, because-"

"-we're triplets."

"Mutinies are limited to the midwatch-"

"-so as not to disturb passengers, of which-"

"-we have two more. Knock it off, Laurie, and-"

"-show them to their quarters. Aye aye, Cap'n."

"Hey! Don't I get introduced!" From all around came the voice that had hailed us.

"Sorry," said Captain Long. "That's our untwin sister, Dora. She runs many of the ship's functions."

"I run everything," Dora asserted. "Laz and Lor are purely ornamental. Which one of you jokers shut off Gay?"

'Dora!"

"I retract the word 'jokers.'"

"It would be kind," Captain Long told me, "to let them chat. Our thought processes are so much slower than hers that a talk with another computer is a treat."

"Deety?" I asked.

"I'll wake her, Captain. Gay won't go off and leave us."

Captain Long's mouth twitched. "She can't. Those outer doors are armor." I decided not to hear. Instead I said "Captain, your ship is beautiful."

"Thank you. Let us show you to your quarters."

"We planned to be away only two hours."

"I don't think that is a problem. Dora?"

"Time-irrelevant. They left home four-minus standard seconds ago; their planet is on a different duration axis. Neat, huh? For protein-type purposes they'll get home when they left; I won't even have to figure interval and reinsert them. Couple of weeks, couple of years-still four-minus seconds. LazLor, we've lucked again!"

Gay's voice (also from all around us) confirmed it: "Captain Hilda, Dora is right. I'm teaching her six-dimensional geometry; it's new to her. When they

are home-not just time-irrelevant-they march in Tau duration with EarthPrime on 't' axis-one we never explored."

Jacob jerked his head up, looked for the voice. "But that's prepos-"

I interrupted. "Jacob!"

"Eh? Yes, Hilda?"

"Let's complete introductions, then go to the quarters the Captain offered us."

"Introductions can be considered complete, Captain Hilda. 'Deety' has to be Doctor D. T. Burroughs Carter; the gentleman you called 'Jacob' must be your husband Doctor Jacob J. Burroughs. Therefore, the tall handsome young man is Doctor Zebadiah J. Carter, Doctor D.T.'s husband. Those are the people we were sent to fetch."

I didn't argue.

We followed a curving passageway, me with the Captain, her sister with my family. "One question, Captain?" I inquired. "Is nudity uniform in your ship? I don't even have captain's insignia."

"May I give you a pair of stickums?"

"Do I need them?"

"As you please. I put these on just to receive you. People wear what they wish; Dora keeps the ship comfortable. She's a good housekeeper."