Orson Card - Ender in exile

If I tell her what I'm up to, she'll probably go along with me. Do it voluntarily.

But is she a good enough actor to keep her mother from knowing something's going on? Forcing it out of her? Alessandra was still so much her mother's creature that Ender didn't believe she could keep a secret from her mother, not for long. And if she does give away the game, then it will cost Alessandra nothing — she'll be right where she already is — while I will lose everything. Don't I have a right to count myself in the balance here, my own happiness, my own future? And on the off chance that I'd be a better governor than Admiral Morgan, don't I owe it to the colonists to make sure things work out to put me in as governor, rather than him?

It's still war, even if there are no weapons but smiles and words. I have to take the forces I have, the advantages of the terrain, and try to face a more powerful enemy under circumstances that neutralize his advantages. Alessandra is a person, yes — so is every soldier, every pawn in the great game. I was used to win a war. Now I'll use someone else. All for the "good of the whole."

But underneath all his moral reasoning, there was something else. He could feel it. An itch, a hunger, a yearning. It was his inner chimp, as he and Valentine called it. The animal that smelled womanhood on Alessandra. Did I choose this plan, these tools, because they were best? Or because they would put me near a girl who is pretty, who desires my affection?

So maybe Valentine was completely right.

But if she was. what then? I can't undo all the attention I've paid to Alessandra. Do I suddenly turn cold to her, for no reason at all? Is that any less manipulative?

Sometimes can't I switch off my brain and be the hairless chimp with an eye for an available female?

No.

"How long are you going to play this little game with Ender Wiggin?" asked Dorabella.

"Game?" asked Alessandra.

"He's obviously interested in you," said Dorabella. "He always homes in on you, I've seen how he smiles at you. He likes you."

"Like a sister," sighed Alessandra.

"He's shy," said Dorabella.

Alessandra sighed.

"Don't sigh at me," said Dorabella.

"Oh, when I'm around you, I'm not allowed to exhale?"

"Don't make me pinch your nose and stuff cookies in your mouth."

"Mother, I can't control what he does."

"But you can control what you do."

"Ender isn't Admiral Morgan."

"No, he isn't. He's a boy. With no experience at all. A boy who can be led and helped and shown."

"Shown what, Mother? Are you suggesting that I do something physical?"

"Darling sweet fairy daughter of mine," said Dorabella, "it's not for you and it's not for me. It's for Ender Wiggin's own good."

Alessandra rolled her eyes. She was such a teenager.

"Eye-rolling is not an answer, darling sweet fairy daughter."

"Mother, people who are doing the most awful things always say it's for the other person's own good."

"But in this case, I'm quite right. You see, Admiral Morgan and I have become very close. Very very close."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

Dorabella's hand flew up, prepared to strike, before she even knew what she was doing. But she caught herself in time. "Oh, look," she said. "My hand thinks it belongs to your grandmother."

Alessandra's voice shook a little. "When you said you were very very close I wondered if you were implying —»

"Quincy Morgan and I have an adult relationship," said Dorabella. "We understand each other. I bring a brightness to his life that he has never had before, and he brings a manly stability that your father, bless his heart, never had. There is also physical attraction, but we are mature adults, masters of our libido, and no, I haven't let him lay a hand on me."

"Then what are we talking about here?" asked Alessandra.

"What I did not know, as a girl your age," said Dorabella, "was that between cold chastity and doing that which produces babies, there is a wide range of steps and stages that can signal to a young man that his advances are welcome, to a point."

"I'm quite aware of that, Mother. I saw other girls at school dressing like whores and putting it all on display. I saw the fondling and grabbing and pinching. We're Italians, I was in an Italian school, and all the boys planned to grow up to be Italian men."

"Don't try to distract me by making me angry at your ethnic stereotypes," said Dorabella. "We have only a few weeks left before we arrive —»

"Two months is not 'a few weeks.»

"Eight is a few. When we reach Shakespeare, one thing is certain. Admiral Morgan is not going to turn the colony over to a fifteen-year-old boy. That would be irresponsible. He likes Ender — everyone does — but in Battle School all they did was play games all day. It takes someone with experience in leadership to govern a colony. This has never been said outright, mind you. But I have gleaned this from things that were hinted at or almost said or. overheard."

"You've been eavesdropping."

"I've been present and human ears don't close. My point is that the very best way it could all turn out is if Ender Wiggin is governor, but taking the advice of Admiral Morgan."

"On everything."

"That's better than Ender being put in stasis and sent home."

"No! He wouldn't do that!"

"It has already been threatened, and there have been hints that it might be necessary. Now, look at this picture: Ender and a beautiful colonist girl fall in love. They pledge to marry. Now he's affianced. It happens that his mother-in-law-to-be —»

"Who happens to be a deranged woman who thinks she's a fairy and the mother of a fairy."

"In-law-to-be is married or about to be married to the admiral who is most definitely going to be the power behind the throne, so to speak. Unless Ender gives him trouble, in which case he'll take the throne, so to speak, quite openly. But Ender will not give him trouble, because he won't need to. His beautiful young wife will look out for his interests by talking things over with her mother, who will then talk things over with her husband, and everything will work smoothly for everyone."

"In other words, I would marry him in order to be a spy."

"There would be a pair of loving and beloved go-betweens who would make sure there was never any conflict between the admirals on this ship."

"By suppressing Ender and making him dance to Quincy's tune."

"Until he becomes old enough and experienced enough himself," said Dorabella.

"Which would happen exactly never, at least not in Quincy's eyes," said Alessandra. "Mother, I'm not stupid and neither is anyone else involved in this. You're betting that Admiral Morgan will seize power, and so by marrying him, you'll be the wife of the governor of the colony. But because you can't be sure that Ender Wiggin won't prevail, you want me to marry him. That way, no matter who wins this little power struggle, we'll be able to cash in. Am I correct?"

Alessandra had spoken the phrase "cash in" in English. Dorabella seized on that. "Shakespeare Colony has no cash yet, darling," said Dorabella. "It's all barter and allotment so far. You haven't been studying the lessons on our colony-to-be."

"Mother," said Alessandra. "That is your plan, isn't it?"

"Hardly," said Dorabella. "I'm a woman in love. So are you. Don't deny it!"

"I think about him all the time," said Alessandra. "I dream of him every night. If that's being in love, they need a pill to cure it."

"You only feel that way because the boy you love is not aware enough of his own feelings to make things clear to you or even to himself. That's what I've been trying to tell you all along."

"No, Mother," said Alessandra. "You've been trying to do everything but tell me. What you want me to do, but refuse to say out loud, is seduce him."