Orson Card - Ender in exile

"When they elect you governor, do it."

"They will not."

"If they don't, then fine," said Vitaly. "But when they do elect you, as everyone but you fully expects they will, do it."

"No."

"And here's why you must," said Vitaly. "You are best qualified for the job because you don't want it."

"Nobody in their right mind wants it."

"Too many men crave it, not because they want to do it, but because they fancy the honor of it. The prestige. The rank." Vitaly laughed, and the laugh turned into an ugly coughing jag till he was able to get a drink of water and calm the spasms in his chest. "I won't miss that sort of thing when I'm dead."

"Rank?"

"I was speaking of my cough. That constant tickling deep in my chest. Wheezing. Flatulence. Blurred vision no matter how good my glasses are and no matter how much light I have. All the nasty decay of old age."

"What about your bad breath?"

"That is designed to make you glad I'm dead. Sel, I'm serious about this. If someone else is elected governor, it will be someone who wants the job and won't be happy to give it up when the new governor comes."

"That's what they get for deciding, clear off in Eros, that along with supplies, equipment, and expertise, they'll also send us a dictator."

"I was a dictator at first," said Vitaly.

"When we were starting and survival looked impossible, yes, you kept things calm till we could find a way to handle the things this planet came up with to kill us off. But those days are over."

"No they're not," said Vitaly. "Let me lay it out plainly. The ship that is coming to us contains two admirals. One is our future governor. And one is the captain of the ship. Guess which one believes he should be our governor."

"The captain of the ship, of course, or you wouldn't have said it that way."

"A bureaucrat. A climber. I didn't know him before we set out on our own voyage, but I know the type."

"So the ship is bringing us everything we need, plus a power struggle."

"I don't want war here. I don't want bloodshed. I don't want the newcomers to have to conquer an upstart acting governor here on Shakespeare. I want our colony to be ready to welcome the new colonists and all they bring with them — and to unify behind the governor that was appointed for us back on Eros. They knew what they were doing when they appointed him."

"You know who it is," said Sel. "You know, and you haven't told a soul."

"Of course I know," said Vitaly. "I've been corresponding with him for the past thirty-five years. Ever since the colony ship launched."

"And didn't breathe a word. Who is it? Anyone I'd have heard of?"

"How do I know what you've heard and haven't heard?" said Vitaly. "I'm a dying man, don't bother me."

"So you still aren't telling."

"When he comes out of lightspeed, he'll make contact with you. Then you can deal with telling the colonists about him — whatever he tells you, you can tell them."

"But you don't trust me to keep the secret."

"Sel, you don't keep secrets. You say whatever's on your mind. Deception isn't in you. That's why you'll be such a splendid governor, and why I'm not telling you a single thing that you can't tell everybody as soon as you know it."

"I can't lie? Well, then, I won't bother promising you to accept the governorship, because I won't do it. I won't have to. They'll choose somebody else. Nobody likes me but you, Vitaly. I'm a grumpy old man who bosses people around and makes clumsy assistants cry. Whatever I did for this colony is long in the past."

"Oh shut up," said Vitaly. "You'll do what you do and I'll do what I do. Which in my case is die."

"I'm going to do that too, you know. Probably before you."

"Then you'll have to get a move on."

"This new governor — has he any idea of what it will take for these new people to live here? The injections? The regular diet of modified pig, so they can get the proteins that starve the worms? I hope they haven't sent us any vegetarians. It really stinks that these new people will outnumber us from the moment they get off the ship."

"We need them," said Vitaly.

"I know. The gene pool needs them, the farms and factories need them."

"Factories?"

"We're tinkering with one of the old formic solar power generators. We think we can get it to run a loom."

"The industrial revolution! Only thirty-six years after we got this planet! And you say you haven't done anything for the people lately."

"I'm not doing it," said Sel. "I just talked Lee Tee into giving it a look."

"Oh, well, if that's all."

"Say it."

"Say what? I said what I was going to say."

"Say that persuading somebody to try something is exactly the way you've governed for the past three-and-a-half decades."

"I don't have to say what you already know."

"Don't die," said Sel.

"I'm so touched," said Vitaly. "But don't you see? I want to. I'm done. Used up. I went off to war and we fought it and won it and then Ender Wiggin won the battle of the home world and all the buggers down here died. Suddenly I'm not a soldier anymore. And I was a soldier, Sel. Not a bureaucrat. Definitely not a governor. But I was admiral, I was in command, it was my duty, and I did it."

"I'm not as dutiful as you."

"I'm not talking about you now, dammit, you'll do whatever you want. I'm talking about me. I'm telling you what to say at my damn funeral!"

"Oh."

"I didn't want to be governor. I fully expected to die in the war, but the truth is, I no more thought about the future than you did. We were coming to this place, we were trained to be ready to survive on this formic colony world, but I thought that would all be your job, you and the other techs, while I commanded the fighting, the struggle against the hordes of formics coming over the hill, burrowing up underneath us — you have no idea the nightmares I had about the occupation, the clearing, the holding. I was afraid there wouldn't be enough bullets in the world. I thought we'd die."

"Then Ender Wiggin disappointed you."

"Yes. Selfish little brat. I'm a soldier, and he took my war out from under me."

"And you loved him for it."

"I did my duty, Sel. I did my duty."

"So have I," said Sel. "But I won't do yours."

"You will when I'm gone."

"You won't be alive to see."

"I have hopes of an afterlife," said Vitaly. "I'm not a scientist, I'm allowed to say so."

"Most scientists believe in God," said Sel. "Certainly most of us here."

"But you don't believe I'll be alive to see what you're doing."

"I'd like to think that God has better things for you to do. Besides, the heaven around here is a formic heaven. I hope God will let whatever part of you lives on go back to the heaven where all the humans are."

"Or the hell," said Vitaly.

"I forgot what pessimists you Russians are."

"It's not pessimism. I just want to be where all my friends are. Where my father is, the old bastard."

"You didn't like him? But you want to be with him?"

"I want to beat up the old drunkard! Then we'll go fishing."

"So it won't be heaven for the fish."

"It'll be hell for everybody. But with good moments."

"Just like our lives right now," said Sel.

Vitaly laughed. "Soldiers shouldn't do theology."

"Xenobiologists shouldn't do government."

"Thank you for making my deathbed so full of uncertainty."

"Anything to keep you entertained. And now, if you don't mind, I have to feed the pigs."

Sel left and Vitaly lay there, wondering if he should get out of bed and just send the message himself.

No, his decision was right. He didn't want to have any sort of conversation with Ender. Let him get the letter when it's too late to answer it, that was the plan and it was a good one. He's a smart kid, a good boy. He'll do what he needs to do. I don't want him asking my advice because he doesn't need it and he might follow it.