Карин Тидбек - Amatka

He shuddered. “I didn’t stop to see what it was. I just ran the other way. The tunnel kept branching off. I just picked whichever one, at random. But then I found a ladder, just like that. I ran straight into it and banged my shoulder. I climbed it, it was a very long ladder, but there was an opening at the top. I had to squeeze out. It was a pipe—I’d crawled out of a pipe. Then I saw Amatka’s train station in the distance, straight ahead. I had ended up all the way out there. They found me when I reached the station. And then they examined me, and tomorrow I have to go in for a hearing.” He slumped back in his chair, as if all the talking had spent the last of his remaining strength.

“A pipe,” Vanja said.

Ivar sighed through his nose and closed his eyes. “They found me at the edge of town. They said I must have gotten confused and wandered out of the farm without anyone noticing.”

“What?” Vanja said.

“If you were hallucinating, that could be indicative of brain injury,” Nina said.

Ivar raised a hand. “I wasn’t hallucinating. The tunnels are there. The pipes are there. I didn’t wander out of the farm. I came from across the tundra.”

“Could it be like at Essre?” Vanja asked. “I mean, like what I’ve heard anyway. The remains of people who lived here before us.”

Nina frowned. “We don’t know that. And I’m certain that I’ve never seen any pipes out on the tundra.”

“Like you’ve been out on the tundra a lot?” Vanja asked. “What do you know that we don’t?”

“Let’s just leave it,” Nina said. “Please.”

Ivar got to his feet. “I need some sleep.” He left his coat hanging on the back of the chair and went up to his room.

Nina remained at the table, her arms crossed. “What do you think—” Vanja began.

Nina interrupted her. “No. That’s enough.”

Vanja woke up as Nina got out of bed and went downstairs. She could hear a stranger’s voice in the hallway. More footsteps, and Ivar’s voice on the landing. A short conversation. Footsteps. A door slamming shut. Then silence. When Vanja stuck her head out, the house was empty. She quickly got dressed and checked the time. She was late for work.

When Vanja arrived at the office, Anders was already stamping the forms that had been delivered that morning. He took a step back, smiled, and handed her the rest of the stack.

“You’re thirty-two minutes late,” he said. “How is your housemate?”

“He’s back,” Vanja replied. “He’s all right.”

“Great,” Anders said. “He’s upstairs.”

“Here?”

“For the interview.”

Vanja stamped the rest of the forms, all the while glancing furtively at the corridor.

About an hour later, Ivar came downstairs. He looked haggard. He greeted Vanja with a small wave. “Just fine,” he replied when Vanja asked how he was feeling.

His voice was faint, as if he didn’t really have the strength to speak. “It was an in-depth interview.”

“Are you hungry? I’ve got my midday break soon.”

Ivar shook his head. “No. I’m a bit tired.”

Vanja lowered her voice. “What did you talk about?”

Ivar looked at the floor. “They took me to a room. They asked me what happened. I told them about how I fell into a small cavity underneath the mushroom farm, fainted, and was pulled out by the rescue workers. My housemates can confirm that I was a little confused last night. That I said some things I didn’t mean.” He looked back up at Vanja. “Right?”

Chills ran down Vanja’s back. At the edge of her vision she could see that Anders had stopped leafing through the papers on his desk. “Of course,” she said. “That’s what Nina and I said to each other, that you must have had a little concussion or something.”

Ivar nodded. “I’m going to the clinic now,” he said. “I’m having another checkup.”

He left. Vanja went back to sorting forms. She did it quickly, to keep her fingers from trembling. As soon as her midday break came, she walked over to the library.

Evgen was alone at his desk. He locked the door and got out his packed lunch while Vanja told him everything: how Ivar had disappeared, wandered through the tunnels, gone in for an “interview,” and come back with a different story. Evgen ate with his eyes fixed on Vanja, his fork moving mechanically between his lunch box and his mouth.

When Vanja finally fell silent, he put the fork down and swallowed. “They’ve probably filled the hole in already.”

“But do you agree with Ivar, that the tunnels were there already?” Vanja asked.

“Let’s see what the library says,” Evgen replied.

He got up and walked over to one of the bookcases. He crouched in front of a shelf near the floor and ran his fingers along the spines, then pulled out a book: About Amatka’s Geography .

Evgen opened the book to the first page. “Layout of the colony, structures, installations. Mushroom farm.” He leafed through the book. “‘The mushroom farm is located at a depth of a hundred feet and covers an area the same size as Amatka. It was originally planned to be built in two levels; however, the bedrock below a hundred feet consists of a species of rock so hard that conventional excavation methods have failed. The advantage of this is, naturally, that Amatka rests on an extremely solid foundation.’”

He closed the book. “There you have it. In other words, either the tunnels were dug in secret—or someone else dug them.”

“What do you believe?” Vanja asked.

“I believe anything’s possible,” Evgen replied. “And I believe the committee knows.” He ran his tongue between his teeth and cheek. “So, a pipe out on the tundra. I’ve never seen that.”

Nina met her at the front door of the house. “Ivar isn’t feeling well.”

“Did something else happen?”

Vanja looked over Nina’s shoulder. Ivar sat by the kitchen table, his head bowed low. Ulla sat next to him with a hand on his shoulder.

“The hearing at the commune office, and then the same thing at the clinic. They really worked him over.” Nina crossed the room to the kitchen cabinet and took out a plate for Vanja.

“I can’t go back down there.” Ivar’s voice was weak and hollow. He muttered a muddled stream of words into his plate. “Nothing I’ve seen exists. They explained that to me. But I know. That they’re there. The tunnels. And people, that there’s people. The doctors say I had a concussion. Maybe the doctors and Nina are right. Maybe I’ve lost my mind. Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? That the tunnels don’t exist? Because I’m the only one who saw them. And the voices. I’ve had a nervous breakdown. Everyone knows I have mental problems. They said as much, my ‘mental health is fragile.’” He sniffled.

Nina sat down across from him and took one of his slender hands in hers. “Having a concussion isn’t the same as being mentally ill, Ivar.”

“I heard the doctors talking to one another. They talked about doing a procedure,” Ivar told the plate. “I know what a procedure is.”

“I know you do, dear,” Ulla said and patted his shoulder.

Vanja glanced at Nina and hesitated. She knew how Nina would react, but she squared her shoulders and said it, for Ivar. “We could go there. I mean, back to where Ivar said he climbed out. Just go there and look, so he can see that he’s not crazy….”

Nina’s lips narrowed. “That’s really not a good idea.”

“But if they’re ruins, then it’s the same as at Essre. Then they’ve always been there. Then it doesn’t matter. Let’s just take a look? For Ivar’s sake. People are going there anyway. They have to investigate.”