Charles Stross - The Fuller Memorandum

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Bob has been behind a desk for too long, busy indexing and archiving the Laundry's secret files, and he's longing for a break when his wife, Mo, announces that she's landed a teaching assignment at a staff college in Cambridge. And he's worrying at the problem of a missing manuscript – an unfinished policy document found in the personal effects of Major-General J. F. C. Fuller (rtd) after his death – which is absent from the Laundry archives. (Fuller was not only the tactician who first invented Blitzkrieg warfare in 1917-18; he was also #2 to Aleister Crowley in the OTO, and a heavyweight Cabalist.) So Bob follows Mo to Cambridge, and is startled to find a Russian spy sneaking around after him. The Fuller Memorandum is missing, and the FSB want it badly. It's got something to do with Fuller's occult obsessions, and something to do with the Laundry's creation in 1941. But Bob doesn't realize just how much is at stake until someone tries to kill Mo, and his boss Angleton starts behaving oddly before lapsing into a coma. The theft of Fuller's document is at the heart of a murderous conspiracy rooted in the GULAGs, and Bob is dumped into a deadly race against time – because if he can't work out where it's been hidden, and how it's connected to Angleton's mysterious illness, it's going to be curtains for the Laundry (and possibly the world) as the cultists of Chernobog try to raise darkness at noon.

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Behind me, the first feeder completes his leap, slamming chest first onto the floor with a bone-snapping crack. The shotgun-toting guard is reeling from the thrown baton as the feeder lashes out and grasps him by the trouser hem, yanks him closer, and touches skin to skin as the butt of the shotgun descends with force born of panic.

In front of me, the other feeder lurches towards a robed woman. She’s made of sterner stuff than the ones who are panicking, or perhaps she’s just running her anti-rapist self-defense training script on autopilot: she raises a highly illegal taser, and there’s a snap and a blue flare as she zaps the feeder. The cadaver collapses like a marionette with its strings cut, its rider temporarily banished back from whence it came: beings who are basically patterns of energy bleeding through from a parallel universe to ours don’t respond well to high-voltage electrical noise. A femur goes rolling underfoot among the panicking congregants, triggering a rush to avoid touching it. Wimps, I think contemptuously. Shoot her, I instruct my surviving feeder.

The feeder raises the shotgun, its butt sticky with a mat of blood and hair, and tries to aim it in the general direction of the door, but its musculoskeletal control is patchy-it has taken three hosts in less than thirty seconds, all in different states, and it’s confused. The shotgun pitches up as it clumsily jerks the trigger, and there’s a repetitive stabbing pain in my ears as it blasts away at the ceiling above the crowd.

They’ve got the doors open, and they’re trying to run away. Stop firing, I tell it, as the panicking cultists scramble for the exit. Shut and barricade the door behind them. I can see a hooded female, eyes staring back at me and full of hate; it’s Jonquil. She mouths something-probably some variation on I’ll be back-but she’s not going to stay in a locked crypt with the Eater of Souls, even to save her mummy dearest. That’s the trouble with cultists: no moral fiber to speak of.

Iris tenses as her followers leave, and it’s then that she makes her bid for freedom, stamping hard on the inside of my right shin and trying to elbow me in the guts. “Let me go!” she shouts.

I feel the pain in my leg as if from a great distance, and the elbow in my abdomen is just a mild nuisance. “I don’t think so,” I say, and tighten my grip on her. “You don’t know what’s going on out there,” I add. She keeps struggling, so I force her facedown on her own altar. “You made a really big mistake,” I explain, as the feeder with the shotgun stalks after the last fleeing worshiper, and reaches for the door.

“Fuck you!” she snarls.

The feeder with the shotgun draws the door shut. You may rise now, I call silently to the ones who wait patiently outside, and I feel them begin to stir in their niches, shaking the cobwebs from their uneasy bones.

“You made several procedural mistakes, Iris.” I don’t need to shout now, but my ears are still ringing. “You tried to summon up a preta but it didn’t occur to you to check first to see if it was already incarnate. Which it was, leaving you with an invocation and no target. So it latched onto the first available unhomed soul in the neighborhood, and it just happened to be mine. You’re an idiot, Iris: you bound me into my own body. And you’ve just killed us both.”

She’s still tense but she stops struggling. She’s listening, I think. “You’ve killed me, because I-You know what happens to demonologists who run code in their head? You made a big mistake, giving me time to think about what was happening. Suicide invocations are always among the most powerful, and you put me in the middle of the biggest graveyard in the country, with all that untapped necromantic go-juice. Bet you thought it would make your summoning easier, didn’t you? Well, it worked for me. But I’m dead, Iris. I don’t know how long this binding is going to hold up, and when the field collapses I’ll be just another corpse.”

The ringing in my ears is subsiding, almost enough to hear the muffled banging and screams from outside the door. Oh dear, it sounds as if they want in again. Can’t those people make up their minds?

“I don’t believe you,” she says. “Ford’s report…”

“Angleton arranged it. He knew we had a leak; Amsterdam proved it, but he’d already spotted the classic signs. He briefed Dr. Mike to put out a plausible line in bullshit, intending to drive you guys into a frenzy of self-exposure. I don’t think he expected you to go quite this far, trying to bind the Eater of Souls and turn it loose inside the Laundry, though.”

She’s shivering. Fear or rage, I can’t tell-not that it matters. Dimly and distantly I realize that fear and rage is what I should be feeling, but all I seem to be able to muster up right now is a vague malevolent joy. Ah, schadenfreude.

Fetch the taser, I tell my minion. I could kill her, but she knows too much. So I need to lock her down until the seventh cavalry arrive, even if I fall apart before then. And maybe get us the hell out of this crypt before the things in the air tonight get loose and come looking for me.

“How are you doing this?” she says in a loud whisper. “You shouldn’t even be alive-”

“I’m one of them, Iris, weren’t you listening? I’m possessed, recursively.” Take aim, I tell my feeder. You don’t want this one, she tastes bad. “Which is, on the face of it, nuts-I’ve never heard of such a thing-but we learn something new every day, don’t we?”

I let go of her abruptly and step clear to give my minion a clear line of fire. She straightens up and begins to turn, and I realize I miscalculated as she raises her sickle. I duck as she lets fly and the feeder shoots, all at the same time. Iris collapses; something nicks my shoulder and falls off. Stand back, I tell my feeder. Then I walk over to the bed and collect the black sacrificial cords. The sickle did some damage, I realize, and I appear to be bleeding, but I can worry about that once I get Iris tied up.

By the time I finish binding her wrists and ankles, I’m beginning to feel oddly weak. The noises outside the door to the crypt have died down. Go to sleep, I tell my feeders; they crawl and writhe outside in the tunnels, happy and replete with the feast of new flesh, and need little urging to fall into a state of torpor. It’s becoming hard to think clearly. I know there’s something I ought to be doing, but… oh, that. I take the ring-bound black folder from Iris’s improvised altar and tuck it under my arm, then I look at my patient feeder, who stands by the altar with a vacant expression, his eyes luminous in the dark. Go to the entrance to the chapel. Open the doors. A truck will come with men. Lead them here, then sleep.

He turns and shuffles towards the door, grateful and obedient to the Eater of Souls for granting him this brief existence. Then I am alone in the crypt with Iris. Who has begun to recover from her tasering, and tries to squirm aside as I walk past her to the bed. “Hasta la vista,” I tell her: “Give my regards to the Auditors.”

Then I keel over on the dusty black satin sheets, dead to the world.

THERE IS CHAOS IN THE CHAPEL AS THE CULTISTS DESPERATELY prepare to defend the perimeter.

On the roof, the surviving guards-Benjamin is not among them-have taken up positions around the corners, pointing their guns out at the sea of bodies that slowly shuffle towards the building. Below them, the worshipers on the ground mill and rush in near-terror until three of their number, better organized and equipped than the rest, gather them into groups and set the unarmed to dragging pews into position to form an improvised barricade, while those who bear arms prepare to defend against the creeping wave of darkness.

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