Kir Bulychev - Alice - The Girl From Earth

Along the way we picked up another Skliss who wanted to come along, but we couldn’t take it with us; feeding even one such animal would be rather difficult. The Skliss mooed for a long time in disappointment and waved its tail back and forth.

Alice returned shortly after we did. She had become bored with the Sheshinerians. They, in turn, quickly forgot all about her and vanished, some into the past, and some into the near future.

“Well now,” Poloskov said when he had lifted from the planet where we had lost of entire stock of pineapples. “I’m for setting a direct course for the Medusa System. Any objections?”

No one objected. I would have liked to have objected, but Alice gave me such a look that I said:

“When we’re in flight the Captain is in charge. Whatever Poloskov says, that’s what will be done.”

“Then there is nothing further to delay us.” Poloskov said.

But two days later we found ourselves delayed again when we were forced to change course. The Pegasus’s on-board subspace radio had picked up an SOS.

“Where’s it from?” I asked Poloskov.

“I’ll let you know in a moment.” Our captain said. He was hunched over the receiver.

I sat down on an empty chair on the bridge, deciding to use the time to get some rest. I had been tired since morning. The Empathicator had an upset stomach, and he kept changing colors, like a traffic signal on a busy intersection.

I sat down on am empty seat on the bridge, deciding to take a minute to get some rest. I had been working since morning and I was exhausted. The Empathicator had an upset stomach, and it was changing colors like a traffic sign on a busy intersection..

The Sewing Spider had completely run out of raw materials for his work and had reached into the next cage where the Snook lay sleeping and saved off all his long fur so that I no longer recognized the Snook. As a result of his nakedness the Snook had caught a cold and was coughing up and down the hold. I had to place him in isolation.. The Blabberyap bird had spent thee night muttering in some incomprehensible language, scratching and screeching like an ungreased cart. He got the hot milk and soda treatment. The wander bushes had spent the night arguing over creamed stones and the littlest had suffered numerous broken branches. The diamond backed turtle had used the sharp facets on his shell to cut a hold in the door leading to the engine room, and I had been again forced to clamp him in the safe.

I was tired, but I knew that you always had such problems when transport a collection of rare animals. All these sicknesses, unpleasantries, fights and conflicts were nothing at all compared to the problem of feeding them.

In truth Alice had been helping me, but she had overslept and I had been forced to do the morning feed myself.

It was all very well that the animals were not too many and the majority of them could breathe terrestrial atmosphere. I had been forced to place a heater only under the enclosure with the Beelzabeetles, which was normal since they lived in volcanoes…

“It’s all clear.” I heard Poloskov’s voice.

What was he talking about. Ah, yes, I had been lost in thought and had completely forgotten we had received a disaster signal.

“The signal comes from the planet Eyeron. What could possibly have happened there?”

Poloskov opened the last volume of our copy of The Guide to the Planets and read aloud:

“Planet Eyeron. Discovered by a Fyxxian expedition. Occupied by a metallic culture of comparatively low level. It is hypothesized that the inhabitants of the planet are the decedents of robots left behind by some unknown space ship. They are straight forward and hospitable. However, very capricious and touchy. The planet is lacking in useful fossil fuels. There is no uncontaminated water. There is no breathable atmosphere. There is nothing at all on the planet. If there had been the robots would have wasted it all and now live in poverty.’

“SOS,” the subspace radio receiver blared. “We have an epidemic. Request aid.”

“We’ll have to divert.” Poloskov sighed. “We can’t ignore sapient beings in distress.”

So we changed course for the planet Eyeron.

Only when we could already see the grey, airless mountains and sea-bottoms of the planetary sphere from space was Poloskov finally able to make contact with the local dispatcher.

“What exactly is going on here?” He asked. “What sort of aid can we offer you?”

“We have an epidemic….” The voice hissed from the speaker. “We are all sick. We need a doctor.”

“A doctor?” Poloskov was surprised. “But certainly you are a metallic species. Wouldn’t it rather be a mechanic that you want?”

“Perhaps a mechanic as well.” The voice agreed from Eyeron. “But definitely a doctor.”

We set down on a flat, dusty, empty field that served as the space port. It had been a long time since a ship had set down here.

When the dust settled we lowered the gangway and rolled out the ATV. Poloskov remained on the ship, while Zeleny, Alice and I headed toward the long, low, boring building of the space port terminal. Neither spirits nor shadows surrounded us. If he had not just been talking with someone, no one would have guessed this planet held any living beings. On the road lay the discarded rusty leg of a robot. Then a wheel with torn out spokes.

Making out way through such a wasteland was somehow sad. We all wanted to shout out loud: “Is anybody here?”

The doors to the space port terminal building were wide open. Inside it was as empty and quiet as without. We left the All Terrain Vehicle and stopped at the doors, not knowing where to head for now.

There was a hissing from the enormous, grey loudspeaker that hung from the ceiling and an already familiar scratchy voice said:

“Go up the stairway to the small black door. Push on it and it will open.”

We obeyed and found a narrow stairway. The stairway was narrow and just as dusty as everything else. It ended in a small black door. I pushed on the door and it did not move. Perhaps it had been locked?

“Hit it harder!” The voice came from behind the door.

“Let me do it.” The engineer Zeleny said.

He put his shoulder to the door, pushed hard enough for him to groan, and the door burst open. Zeleny vanished into the room.

“Just as I thought.” He said gloomily after he had flown into the room and collided with one of the planet’s metallic inhabitants who was sitting at a desk.

The robot was covered with dust like everything else.

“Thank you for coming.” The robot said, raising his hand to help Zeleny get to his feet. I didn’t think anyone would ever come. I’d given up hope. And we don’t have any ships of our own out…”

“It’s your transmitting station.” I said. “It’s too weak. We picked up our message only because we were flying right by. It was pure random chance.”

“Once our station was the most powerful in the sector.” The robot said.

Then something grinding sounded from his iron jaw and he froze with his mouth open. The robot waved his hands back and forth and silently called for help. I looked at Zeleny in confusion, and he said:

“It’s not doctor that’s needed here.”

He went over to the robot and struck him below the chin with his fist. The mouth opened with a clang and the robot said:

“Than….”

Zeleny had to deal with the robot with his fist again. He shook his bruised hand and said,

“Please don’t open your mouth so wide. I’d rather not have to stand with my fist over you all the time.”

The robot nodded and continued to talk, with its mouth only slightly open.