John Ringo - There Will Be Dragons

There were at least six others headed over to the baths at about the same time. All the other riders, however, were reenactors who were old friends of Kane and Alyssa. While they didn’t deliberately cut Herzer out of the conversation most of it was so “in” that he couldn’t even keep up with the names so he just rode along in silence, nursing his various hurts.

At the baths he gladly handed his now dry but crusty clothes over to the ubiquitous Darius and headed for the baths. He had parked Diablo around the corner on a long enough lead that he could crop some grass and when they got back the horse was due for a good feed and a roll.

He scrubbed hard in the cold water of the showers and then nearly screamed when the hot water struck his raw spots. But the pain quickly subsided and as the heat penetrated all his abused muscles it induced a pleasant euphoria that lasted for some time. By the time he felt he could drag himself out of the bath it was dark and the kitchens were nearly closed. He got his clothes, trotted down on Diablo — sensibly riding high in the stirrups to protect his abused bottom — and got some of the last of the scraps. After that he rode back to the corrals, fed his horse, brushed it down, got it a good feed, put away his gear and staggered off to the building designated as a bunkhouse. He found his basket in the dark, rolled out his fur and was asleep practically before he could get his boots off.

“Edmund,” Sheida said, appearing in his office as the town council filed in the door.

“Sheida, we’re busy here,” Edmund said. “Could you just call me or something? Maybe, just once, leave a message?”

The rest of the council stopped, shocked, at the sight of him chewing out a council member but Sheida just nodded in sympathy.

“I’m starting to forget that people don’t split,” she sighed, stroking the image of her flying lizard. “I’m sorry, Edmund.”

“What is it this time?” he asked, still exasperated.

“I’ve freed up enough energy to have virtual meetings for the constitutional convention and more important, for the writing of the first draft. I want you to be on it.”

“Great I’ll slide that in my free time between figuring out how to feed three thousand people and defending them from raiders.”

“Is it that bad out there?” she asked, frowning.

“McCanoc is back,” he growled. “He burned Fredar.”

“Oh,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t know how that one passed me by. But it’s not the first by a long stretch.”

“Nor will it be the last,” Edmund agreed. “And we may be next.”

“Do you know his current location?” she asked. “He has come up… at a higher level lately.”

“No, somewhere west of Fredar on the plains presumably,” Edmund said. “When is this meeting?”

“When would be convenient?” she asked, looking around and nodding at the council members. “Sorry for taking your time.”

“No problem.” “Quite all right…”

“Tomorrow evening?” he asked.

“Eightish?” she said, glancing in the distance. “That will… work. See you then,” she added and vanished.

“To have the power…” Deshurt said.

“I wouldn’t want her headaches,” Talbot responded. “Okay, if you’ll all grab a seat, the first order of business is another crack at the banking code…”

“Rachel,” Daneh called as her daughter was heading out the door of the infirmary. It had been a long day at the infirmary, it was late and Rachel was due some time off. But she had put this off long enough.

“Yes?” Rachel said.

“Could I talk to you for a minute?” Daneh asked, waving at her office. “It’s not… I just need to ask you a question.”

Rachel furrowed her brow quizzically but followed her mother into the office.

“You’ve been talking to more people than I have,” Daneh said, when the door was closed. “One of the things that should be done about the women who were raped is they should talk about it.”

“I wasn’t, Mother,” Rachel said, looking at her with a frown. “Or… do you want someone to talk to?” she said with a worried tone.

“Well, yes, but not you, dear,” Daneh said with a chuckle. “I was wondering if you knew… anyone who might want to talk.”

Rachel thought about it for a moment and shrugged. “Yes. That is, I know some girls who… had a bad time on the trip. I haven’t tried to draw any of them out about it. Should I?”

It was Daneh’s turn to frown in thought but then she shrugged. “Talking about it is very important for healing. But what I was wondering was, could you ask some of them to maybe meet me in the evenings? One of the important things I learned from Bast is that… there are odd thoughts and feelings that are lingering presences of the rape. I think it’s about time that some of us who have had that experience share it with each other and start to try to… heal.”

“Oh,” Rachel said. “I’ll… see what I can find out.”

“Thank you,” Daneh replied with a smile. “Do you have any idea how much you have changed… grown, since the Fall?”

“Sometimes I feel a thousand years old, if that’s what you mean,” Rachel sighed.

“You know,” Daneh said, leaning back in her chair. “I’m your mother. We can talk about things other than work.”

“It’s okay, Mom, really,” Rachel replied. “It’s nothing as… big as what you have to work through. Just the same problem everybody has. I keep wishing that it would all go back the way it used to be, you know?”

“Yes, I do,” Daneh said, sadly. “Do you ever whisper ‘genie’ to yourself? I know I do.”

“Sometimes,” Rachel replied with a nod. “Sometimes when I can’t get to sleep I just imagine that we’re all back the way we used to be.” Her face worked for a moment and she shook her head. “I hate this world. Sometimes I wish I’d never been born!”

“Don’t wish that,” Daneh said, shaking her head. “I love you and the world would be a sadder place if you weren’t in it. Know that. It’s okay to grieve for what we’ve lost. But don’t wish you hadn’t existed. You have a long life to live and there is still joy to be found. Friends to cherish and love. Maybe even a boyfriend, hmmm? Edmund and I would like a grandchild some day.”

“I’m a little young for that, Mother,” Rachel said.

“Aren’t we all,” Daneh said, rubbing at her belly. “It’s odd to know that there’s something growing inside of me. I’ve been awfully tired lately, and I think that’s part of it. But, even knowing that half of it is… from them, half of it is from me . And… I cannot find it in me to hate the child unborn.”

“So… you’re going to keep it?” Rachel asked.

“Well, even if there weren’t some very serious dangers involved in getting rid of him or her,” Daneh said, “I think the answer is: Yes. I’m going to keep him. Or her. I don’t think I could do anything else. It’s a child and I can’t find it in me to kill a child.”

“Okay,” Rachel said. “If that’s how you feel. I’m a little… intimidated by the whole idea. You know there are risks to you, right?”

“They’re risks that women have faced for countless ages,” Daneh shrugged. “Just because we were rid of them for a while, doesn’t mean I should run away from them. And… neither should you.”

“I have to find the right guy,” Rachel replied with a frown. “That hasn’t happened, yet.”

“Herzer is… nice,” Daneh said, carefully.

“Herzer is… Herzer,” Rachel said with a frown. “And… he’s not what I’m looking for. He’s a good friend but… just a friend.”