Caeli Widger - Mother of Invention

From the crowd, whoops and cheers.

“But let’s not fool ourselves. No matter how hard we work, no matter how much we achieve, one immutable fact remains: we are expected to bear children. And most of us do. By virtue of our biology, no matter how evolved and involved our partners, no matter how devoted our caregivers, no matter how supportive our organizations, no one but us will get pregnant and give birth. No species on the planet has managed to circumvent this responsibility. The closest is the seahorse—namesake of my company—a species in which the male acts as a sort of surrogate during gestation, physically carrying and releasing eggs. It is not true male pregnancy—the females still produce the eggs, simply depositing them into the male’s pouch to carry until the babies emerge—but it is a good start. It was with the seahorse in mind that I founded Seahorse Solutions. With Seahorse, I sought to create options for women that would not force them to decide between children or no children , but give them an opportunity to experience motherhood in the least debilitating manner possible. In time, the Seahorse Solution will enable women to limit the demands of pregnancy and early motherhood. Because, let’s face it, those are the years that debilitate us the most. They are the years of discomfort, of exhaustion, of physical transformation that changes the way we are treated in this culture. This is not to say motherhood isn’t ‘worth it.’ It is not to say that in those years when our bodies swell and split, when our nipples crack and breasts leak, when sleep and self-centered pleasures feel like distant dreams, we are not moving toward a deeper level of experience. Although I do not have children myself, I have heard over and over that these sacrifices are ‘worth it.’ I have no doubt they are. But I do doubt the fairness of these sacrifices, in a world when we are expected to get right back to work, to have domestic talents—let’s face it, this is still expected, even if not consciously”—whoops from the crowd—“we are expected to draw resources from a single pool: our own strength . Because no matter how much support we have, two hard facts remain.”

Tessa paused, for dramatic effect, and to center herself before delivering the crux of her speech:

“One: women are responsible for pregnancy. And two: babies need their mothers, more than anyone else. ”

Again, whoops from the crowd, though less vigorous now. She could sense a tentativeness from some; this was to be expected.

“During early motherhood, women like you will likely have the support of your partners. You will likely have caregivers and involved families. You have heard, probably ad nauseam for most of your life, that it takes a village . But here, even in the privilege of the first world—perhaps especially here—let me make one fact crystal clear: there is no village.

“It’s you, my friends. From the moment of conception until, at the very soonest, your child enters kindergarten, the mother matters most . I’ve been presented with endless anecdotes arguing otherwise. Case after case of fathers as primary caregivers, of a child who cries for her nanny at night. There are certainly plenty of men in same-sex relationships who do a beautiful job raising vibrant, happy children. These stories matter. However, they are also exceptions to the rule.

“The mandates of motherhood are simply too much, my young colleagues. Too much need is placed upon us. We give and we give and we give until we are uncertain where we end and others begin.”

The crowd fell silent. Tessa waited a few beats. Then she added, “Trust me, this is not a problem for men.”

A smattering of applause.

“These are radical times for American women. I know it’s a dramatic word, radical , but I cannot think of a more appropriate one. In recent years, our country has been led by a series of men who, to put it bluntly, wish to demote us.”

The crowd came back to life.

“Although they do not state it explicitly, we have reverted to rule by an elite, oppressive regime of men who seem to have just woken from a hundred-year nap. We must do everything in our power to resist their intentions, which, though perhaps not stated explicitly, seep into our collective consciousness like toxins into groundwater. No one would say that the recent administrations have implicitly instructed women to get back to looking prettier, to cheerleading more loudly for their men. But I believe that to be the case. At the same time, we’re already in the fixed position of carrying fifty percent of the economy. We can’t very well step back now. In fact, we must lean in ”—Tessa paused and lifted her hands high, hooking her fingers into air quotes, invoking the famous phrase—“further than ever. We must lean so hard that we push through .”

The audience resumed cheering.

“The same old solutions—split the housework fifty-fifty, hire more help, live closer to family, commit to your yoga and biweekly pedicures, take care of yourself . Wake up earlier. Be present. Download a meditation app. Unplug after 9:00 p.m. Have a girls’ night. Have a date night. Have family dinner. It’s the same old tired suggestions, over and over.”

“Ay-fucking-men!” someone yelled.

“Women of Weldon, these suggestions are often no more than well-meant bromides. There are only so many hours in the day. There are only so many years in your life. Reprioritizing and reassigning duties are a good start, but they are not enough . We need bolder solutions. More concrete and less burdensome on the individual woman to execute. Sure, you can have it all. As long as you find an enlightened partner committed to domestic equality, live within a few miles of a large, supportive family with plenty of time on hand to help out with your kids, and earn an income large enough to provide a sub-income for your children’s caregivers.”

The crowd was thrumming at a louder volume now, full of claps and whistles and whoops.

“For decades now, we’ve turned to elective medical technology to enhance our lives. It is a foundation of modern life: pills and patches to control ovulation, to control unsavory moods, to slim down, to help us sleep. Surgeries to tighten skin and lift breasts. Procedures to improve our fertility, to help us get pregnant when our bodies resist, to make birth less excruciating. As it stands, these offerings are piecemeal. You must continuously decide which is right for you and when. Seahorse seeks to diminish, if only a little, the endless litany of decisions that await you when you step off the campus of Weldon College after graduation. It is a unified, elegant option to alleviate the anticipation and profound aftereffects of early motherhood.

“Seahorse Solutions is my contribution to a new type of support for women approaching motherhood. Before I explain it, let me issue several caveats: One, it will not be right for many women, nor is it intended to be. Two, it is inherently controversial, and will remain as such for the foreseeable future. Three, it will not necessarily be an option for your generation. Back in the Bay Area, where I live, we are working hard to test and validate a very early iteration of the technologies at work. As I speak, a very small group of brave, pioneering women are personally testing the Solution. Once their success is proven, and it will be proven , there will be years of testing and retesting, of convincing layer upon layer of bureaucracy that women deserve Seahorse, should they decide it is right for them.”

Tessa panned her eyes over the crowd, the sea of young, lovely faces in every hue and shape, the hair of every length, sunglasses and cardigans, visors and cargo pants. Their young, unlined skin, their faces earnest and open. So vulnerable, so capable. Headed straight into the impossible. This was why she’d chosen her work: not for fame or legacy or wealth. She did it for them , these women in front of her, full of potential, wide-open to possibilities.