Leo Frankowski - Copernick's Rebellion

I attempted to resolve the conflict by speaking with them but the negroes were quite irrational and verbally abusive, referring to me as “whitey.”

Now, as I had been fighting on a white marble surface, I had naturally turned my skin a light gray for protective coloration. Therefore, in an attempt to placate the negroes, I changed my coloration to an off-brown, the arithmetical average of the negroes’ skin coloration, and again attempted to open a conversation.

At this point, the Caucasians became abusive, calling me “nigger” and other color-related terms. I therefore turned the side facing the Caucasians to a pinkish tan in imitation of their skin coloration, keeping the side facing the negroes brown, and attempted to enter into a meaningful dialogue with both groups as to the cause of the original conflict.

Both groups then broke into convulsive and abusive laughter, picked up their wounded, and went away.

Dirk here. Indeed?

Birchi here. Now, my question is: What did I do right?

Dirk here. Beats me, but I suggest that the next time an LDU encounters a similar situation, he should try repeating your actions.

Birchi here. Sounds reasonable. Out.

“Well, Mona, I guess we’ve helped out a little today,” Patricia said, looking at the full moon over the desert.

“More than a little. We’ve distributed enough food and water to keep a thousand people alive for a week. And tomorrow we should be able to bring thirty-five or forty of them back with us,” Mona said.

“But it’s nothing compared to the job that has to do be done.”

“It’s what we can do,” Mona said. “And don’t forget, we’re not alone. Almost every TRAC we have is out doing the same thing we are. Add to that all the LDUs with three hundred pounds of supplies each, and you have a force capable of rescuing everyone in the Southwest.”

“I suppose so,” Patty said.

“Dirk,” Mona said, “how are your brothers doing?”

“Most of them are still en route to their assigned sectors, my lady. Thus far we have spread north to Vancouver, east to St. Louis and south to Mexico City. About forty thousand are now in their duty areas.”

“Continue,” Mona said.

“We have suffered two hundred eighteen disabling casualties today, including twenty-three deaths. Most of these injuries were caused by collapsing structures, although some were caused by humans. There is a surprising amount of resentment toward us, most probably caused by our appearance.”

“I’ll talk to Heinrich about that,” Mona said. “Perhaps future units should be given a more acceptable, if less practical, appearance. How about the other side of the sheet; what have you accomplished?”

“It is difficult to access actual lives saved, my lady. We have distributed approximately 100,000 tons of supplies to the needy, we have moved 128,000 people from dangerous situations to places of relative safety, and we have interrupted 2,654 1/2 incidents of assault.”

“How do you get a half of an assault?” Patricia asked.

“There was a situation which was difficult to assess, my lady.” Dirk explained what had happened to Saber that afternoon.

“It sounds pretty sick to me,” Patricia said.

“There was no indication of disease, my lady.”

“She means that when it conies to things sexual, humans can get pretty kinky, Dirk,” Mona said. “Understanding here is pretty difficult. Suffice it to say that Saber’s actions were correct. In a similar situation, I would expect him to repeat his actions. However, this particular couple should be left alone in the future, providing that they don’t harm anyone else.”

“Saber is grateful for your approval, my lady. He has been quite anxious about the incident. Human sexual practices are very confusing to asexual beings.”

“They’re pretty confusing to humans, too,” Patricia said.

“Is this what’s been bothering you today?” Mona asked. “I mean, you’ve been in the dumps about something closer to home than the refugees.”

“Uh, it’s something like that, Mona. What would you do if you were going insane?”

“Something crazy, I suppose. But you’re not showing any of the usual symptoms of psychosis.”

“But I am! I mean, when things change around you, when something looks different from one moment to the next… Oh! I don’t know.” Patricia began to cry.

“Easy, girl, easy. What things are changing?”

“Martin.”

“You mean sometimes he acts like a different person?”

“No. I mean sometimes he looks like a different person. Like, sometimes when he just comes into the room, and I catch him in the corner of my eye, he looks so different, so ugly. Or when we’re making love, he changes sometimes, just for an instant. And then he’s back to normal.”

“I never heard of anything like it,” Mona said. “But I don’t think it’s psychosis.”

“My lady, isn’t it written that ‘love is blind’?” Dirk said.

“Stay out of this, Dirk,” Mona whispered.

“Well, it’s something,” Patricia said.

“Tell me,” Mona said, “what does Uncle Martin look like when he looks different? I mean, describe him.”

“Uh, he’s short, very short. And incredibly fat. And he looks maybe a hundred years old.”

“Go on,” Mona said.

“He’s got a wart on the left side of his nose and a triple chin. His hair, what there is of it, is all white and he has a ridiculous mustache.”

“I see,” Mona said. This was, of course, a fairly accurate description of Martin Guibedo. “Now describe what Uncle Martin looks like normally.”

“Well, you know what he looks like!”

“Humor me,” Mona said.

“Oh, okay. Well, he’s got black hair graying at the temples, a neat mustache, and clear blue eyes. He’s about six one. Rather wide shouldered with a wiry body. Sort of a swimmer’s build, you know.”

“Of course.” Mona was beginning to think that Dirk was right. Perhaps love was blind. “There’ve probably been other cases like it, Patty. I’ll talk it over with the CCU when we get home. In the meantime, buck up. It can’t be too serious, and you’re among friends.”

‘Thanks, Mona.” Patricia put her hand on Mona’s as an arrow lodged itself halfway through Winnie’s body, with the flint arrowhead stopping directly between their faces.

“OOWW!” Winnie yelled.

Dirk was out the door in an instant. Liebchen woke up and stuck her grinning head out the window, eager not to miss anything.

“Down, girl,” Mona said, pulling Liebchen to the floor beside herself and Patricia. “Dirk can take care of it without you.”

A Gamma unit in Utah took an interest in the affair. Six of them, Dirk. But take it easy. They’re all adolescents.

Thanks! Dirk adjusted his eyes to infrared and his skin to flat black. He swung out and came silently behind them, catching each boy alone and swiftly, carefully knocking each senseless.

Groping with his huge arms in the dark, Winnie managed to catch the last of the intruders. He was vigorously bouncing this screaming unfortunate on the sand, occasionally switching hands to demonstrate his versatility, when Dirk told him to stop.

“Aw, gee, Dirk. I was only spanking him a little,” Winnie said.

“From here it looks like you’ve broken both of his arms and at least one leg. Next time leave this sort of thing to me! Now put him—gently—on the bed inside.” Dirk dropped two unconscious boys on the sand. “And get me some rope to tie these guys up.”

Mona efficiently bound the unconscious boys as Dirk brought them in. In twenty minutes there were casts on all four limbs of the one Winnie had gotten hold of, and Winnie’s side had been bandaged.